It's Really Stupid

Tumblrina since like 2011 --- Professional Amateur, Aspiring Something-or-Other --- Queer AuDHD Anxiety Ace AFAB Enby (she/they)

[shiphappen-s]

I bet Grace's ejection from earth would become like an Eridian horror story. They forced him to sleep. They held him down and made him go to sleep so he would stop fighting. They kept him vulnerable and put him into a dangerous situation with other sleeping, vulnerable humans with no one to watch over them.

And 2 of them DIED! While they were asleep with no one to watch over them!!

Like they probably already thought Rocky's journey was the stuff of nightmares (alone for decades with no one to watch him sleep) but Grace's story would probably be so terrifying to them. Coupled by the relative ease with which he talks of it. He accidentally mentions it to his class and gets several concerned and angry messages from Eridian parents about him telling horror stories to their children instead of teaching Human Science lol

[nenastrology]

light was such a loser cuz he didnt just google the 100 richest people and start writing down names

[wyrmzone]

how would you feel if you woke up tomorrow and find out exactly 100 of the world’s richest people died of heart attacks at exactly noon universal time. can you imagine the theories. light is absolutely a loser for not doing this

[jotaillustrator]

[exigencelost]

[ID: Reply from elumind that says: “Do the richest one every week and see next in line lose their shit and try to get rid of the money. I think of this almost daily.” /end ID.]

The notes on this are wild because people are legit passionately arguing about why this wouldn’t work. No one said it would work. They said he’s a loser for not doing it.

[athingofvikings]

There has to be a *pattern* to it, though, to really get their attention. Like it has to be the same time of day, the same day, each week.

[hazeldomain]

The first one stands up and draws a massive A on the nearest wall before dropping dead. 

Exactly one week later, Thursday at 3:13 PM, the next one looks up, blank-faced, and uses a car key to scratch the word ‘CAMEL’ into the side of their car. There are memes. 

The week after that, in the middle of an interview, the third victim turns to the camera and says ‘THROUGH.’ He drops dead. 

The man who writes “EYE” is in a private underground bunker. Enough radiation shielding to survive a direct nuclear strike. There are fifteen guards posted at the door- surveillance confirms not one of them left their post. 

By the time “NEEDLE” is scratched into the upholstery of a private yacht, people are starting to give money away. 

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Like most of us I’ve thought extensively on this since I first saw Death Note and came to the conclusion that the most likely reaction would be people creating more byzantine ways of keeping hold of their resources while not technically counting them as personal resources and not technically being so rich. With enough shell companies, fake charities, and resources stashed in secret or illegal places or the bank accounts of relatives, people could keep most of what they have while dropping right off any list of wealthiest people. The wealthy are often experts at this for tax fraud reasons. Light’s response, of course, would be to start taking these things into account, seeking out hackers and accountants and various other experts to keep track of the actual wealthiest, and the wealthy (many of whom would be willing to risk their lives to stay that way) would use the dying as a metric for what the mysterious killer was using to score wealth and try to find ever more secret methods of resource hoarding. An accountancy arms race would be underway.

I’m not saying it’s a bad idea. I’m saying it would make a fantastic Death Note rewrite. Instead of Light making stupid mistakes against L, he could actually put his genius to work in Death Note: The Accountancy Wars.

[ryan-sometimes]

I think it's so funny how we bred JOBS into dogs. I have two shih tzus and they were bred to be lap dogs. All they care about is looking cute and cuddling with people. Meanwhile my grandma has a border collie and that dog needs to feel so useful all the time, he acts like he will pass away if he doesn't have a job to do constantly

[halomancer]

On one hand this is extremely fucking funny, but on the other hand, it really boggles my mind how many people punish their dogs for just… doing the thing they were bred to do.

Your husky isn’t “hyperactive”, it’s bred to pull sleds for 8 hours straight and you have it in a 400 sq ft yard.

Your English sheepdog isn’t “pushy”, it’s bred to herd sheep, and you have neither to space nor the herd to allow it.

Your terrier isn’t “nippy”, it’s bred to kill rats and your hamster looks a hell of a lot like one.

Your Catahoula isn’t “mean to animals”, it’s bred to hunt any and all animals smaller than it, and you didn’t acclimate it to your cat.

Your Lhasa Apso isn’t “yappy”, it’s bred to bark at any tiny noise and alert watchmen to intruders

Like Jesus Christ, if you can’t provide an environment where your dog can’t fulfill its literal life purpose, maybe?? Don’t get that dog??? And if you do, maybe know the breed characteristics so you can redirect those traits into more constructive outlets????

[lemonsharks]

Both your most common doodle's parts (labra and golden) want to hunt and retrieve water birds so the best suggestion I can give y'all is congratulations on your new duck hunting hobby.

[safetytank]

#people will overlook the perfect breeds to suit their needs based on just their looks#and get a work dog because it looks cool

[queerb]

tags from @gnarlystarships because YEAH

[maggiedeshiboux]

@gallusrostromegalus

[gallusrostromegalus]

Any time someone sees Herschel and says "AWWW I want a Corgi <3" (because he is Very Cute (TM)), I immediately reply: "Do not get a Corgi unless you have a job for it to do. They were bred to bully livestock across the hills of Wales. This is basically a Border Collie that knows he is cute enough to get away with murder. If you get one and it doesn't have a job, it will apply its livestock-bullying instincts to YOU. Herschel's job specifically is to help manage my crippling ADHD, because I don't have a bull for him to micromanage." This gets me odd looks at the home depot but it does get the point across.

[lasrina]

Okay, listen, I joke about this phenomenon of corgi ownership so much that for years it's been my pinned post everywhere--

--but seriously, when people ask me what kind of dog they should get? I tell them that every dog breed was literally designed to perform a specific function, and the most important part of your decision should be whether that function is something you can live with a creature doing on purpose, every day, in your house, including possibly at 2 in the morning.

[eleilinnrallin]

This is a reminder for those who handmake Christmas presents that now is not too early to start. It may in fact be a good time to start if you have a lot to make/your craft takes a long time. You should maybe start it now, whether that's brainstorming or actually doing the crafts!

[newtsoftheworldunite]

Translating this into tumblr's preferred public service announcement format for this kind of alert:

[agentcricket-art]

i was invited to once again do a piece for the dndads pride zine, and i spent about 2 hours in a panic with no idea what to do. and then i was struck by inspiration and knew exactly what i wanted to do. so go buy the zine and then you can see this piece in the real life whaow!

🌈🌈 happy pride! pass the yaoi! 🌈🌈

[yujateaandpi]

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.

[queer-as-city-folk]

tumblr users are living in a world wholly their own which I can not help but envy

[oldshowbiz]

There's an extraordinarily high crime rate in Hanna Barbera cartoons

[dogzcats]

inside the actors' studio with Colin Firth

[charlizetheronsbush-official]

Terry Pratchett was so ahead of his time he had multiple well-written trans characters in his books in the mid-90s

[jovishark]

some advice for people entering their 20s:

-dont go to the emergency room with dental problems. go to the dentist

-bagged greens are cheaper than pre-made salads

-taco bell is NOT worth the money anymore. 1/4 cup mayo, 1/4 cup sour cream, 3 tblspoons pickled jalapenos+2tblspoons of the jar liquid, 2 tsp paprika 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion powder salt+pepper. all in your blender. creamy jalapeno sauce

-dont quit your job unless you have a bunch of job interviews lined up immediately after

-use resources. food bank, unemployment, housing assistance, financial aid, etc. yes there will be paperwork. but Do It

-dont stay awake longer than 20 hours. you Will start to become impulsive and cranky. resting for 20 minutes is better than trying to stay awake

-for every 2 hours you spend looking up close at screens, spend 20 minutes looking at something far away from you. stretch your wrists a lot

-dont do that yoga stretch where you roll your head around your shoulders. youre grinding down the joints in your neck

-be nice to your friends, bullying them as a joke gets old. if you need a ride somewhere at least offer them gas money

-brush your teeth at any time of the day but especially before you sleep. dont snack in bed if you can help it. make your bed the Clean Teeth Zone. keep floss picks by your bed

-dont tell your boss youre adhd/autism/depression/suicidal. dont trust your coworkers with that. you NEVER know how people will take it and its none of their business

-train your pets to go to the front door when they hear a fire alarm

-get regular oil changes

[bewbin]

EVERYOBODY GET DOWN HES TAKING A CREATIVE LIBERTY

[stone-cold-groove]

Page illustration detail: Flora of the American Southwest Deserts - 1953.

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[subwaytocalifornia]

[parkchanwoohoo]

I loved this post just because all the comments flipped between sincere appreciation and mockery of the birds

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

One for the folks in Aoteroa