╳ ┊: BOOM! BUTTERFLY EFFECT.

indie, & Selective CHRIS rp blog from 'Until Dawn.' written by Andrew.

[suchabastarder-blog]

                    You just kept   pushing me..    Everybody is always pushing me!!!

[suchabastarder-blog]

/slides u twenty dollars w. a wink/

follow me n more relatable humoor 

[axhiisms]

Turning her eyes to look up at Chris, she exhaled slowly. Josh was curled up in her arms, already asleep again. Her son had calmed her slightly, but her hands still shook, her breathing was still irregular. Standing slowly, she laid her son down in his crib, && stepped up to Chris, looking up at him. Then she moved, her arms wrapping around his waist, && her face burying in his chest. She didn’t cry, she didn’t rant, or rave, or scream. She just… held onto him. Unwilling to let him go. When she finally spoke, it was a whisper.

❛ He called me. He wanted to be a part of Josh’s life finally, but I told him no. That he’d never see his son again, && that he wasn’t on the birth certificate. I broke my phone, Chris. && my favorite coffee mug. I broke my mug, Chris. What am I going to drink coffee in now? ❜

Of course she was more worried about the mug than her phone. That was because the only person she ever texted was standing in front of her.

[imabcdass-blog]

      ❛ I can buy you a new mug; Ash.. it might not be your favourite, but it’ll do. ❜  he tried not to let his smile grow too wide, for he knew that Ashley was upset ---- but he was glad Ashley had appeared to forgive him..  he was prepared to go on an entire speech on why he was sorry, how he never met to hurt her: actually, he was still prepared to do that, but as of right now he simply enjoyed holding her. being with her. 

    ❛ it might not seem like it but you did the right thing.   he would’ve been a terrible father, and I know how hard it’s been for you to try to raise Joshua like you have been... but you know I’m available for whatever you need, right? ❜    he hoped they’d just be able to avoid last night’s conversation, he didn’t need nor want to hear how Ashley had made a mistake, that she didn’t mean it, and he really didn’t want her apologies. 

[luxarcher]

Campfire Cuties. Request from the winner of my art giveaway @joshwashingtons!

[imabcdass-blog]

[imabcdass-blog]

        ❛ DO YOU THINK   anyone will be able to recognize me?  ❜

[septiic-deactivated20220304]

@imabcdass liked for a starter.

“DUDE, why the FUCK were ya hidin’ behind there?! Ya almost gave me a fuckin’ HEART ATTACK, don’t pull that shit on me, not ‘round places as CREEPY as this!”

[imabcdass-blog]

          ❛  — wha-    WHO  A R E  YOU? ❜     he’s still holding onto the piece of            wood for dear life, ready to strike if he tries to attack.    he’s had enough            danger in these woods to now to not let his guard down,    but if this guy           knew anything about  what the hell  was going on...

[ashthescarredycat-deactivated20]

“I’d never get sick of you.”  Ashley pressed his hand with her own.  “We need to think about names.  Why did we not find out the gender again?”  Ashley forced herself to sit up and take Chris’s hand and kissed each finger.  “I can’t wait, each little braxton hick makes me excited because maybe the next one will be real.”

[imabcdass-blog]

       ❛ Don’t say that so soon.  ❜   he teased, moving to make it easier for Ashley to kiss his digits.   ❛ I want it to be a surprise..   I mean, we don’t need to think about their gender if we’re not even thinking about names yet. I’m sure either way they’ll be bad ass.  ❜   he chuckled,  leaning forward to kiss her forehead.     ❛ I’m pretty excited too, I just never know when something cool might happen.  ❜

[axhiisms]

Morning came, && Ashley was awoken by the sound of Joshua crying. Crawling out of be, she stepped into her son’s bedroom, && scooped him up gently, making soft cooing sounds. When he was quieted && sleeping again, she laid him down and made her way into the kitchen, putting on a pot of coffee. She needed it. A phone call, however, ripped her out of her easy morning. Looking at the caller ID, Ash didn’t know the number. && so she answered. The mug shattered on the floor, causing the sound to echo through the normally quiet house. Angered words bubbled past her mouth, && the sound of her son screeching accompanied, && fueled, her anger.

❛ You call me now, when I don’t need help with my son!? YOU ARE NOT A PART OF HIS LIFE!! Fuck you, Jeremy!! Your name is not on the fucking birth certificate, && it never will be! I am raising my son by myself. I don’t need, or fucking want you in my life! GO THE FUCK AWAY!!! ❜

Ashley never swore. Ever. But the sound of her heated words bounced off the walls. Hanging up her phone, she flung it across the kitchen. Trying to calm herself, she swept into Josh’s room && scooped him up, quieting her son. Then the tears came, her sobs becoming more painful with each breath she took.

She couldn’t do it alone anymore…

[imabcdass-blog]

     Ashley’s screams are what woke him up, for he’s already slept through almost everything else. It was him.. he could feel himself getting angry too, that was until the SMASH of the phone came along, and he realized how hurt Ashley must’ve been...   it probably wasn’t only because of the father contacting her either. His fault.   He almost drowned himself in self pity again, but he had already given her enough time to cool off so he figured he should check up on her.  Not only that, but he wanted to tell her what an asshole that guy was, and he missed her, wanted to make sure she was okay...   he really had no idea what he was going to say, if he was being honest.

    He’d stand in the door for a while, looking at her crying..  he just wanted to hold her, put Josh down and let her rest...   it wasn’t his place.       ❛  --- can I come in?  ❜   he’d ask this before anything, being afraid of what she would say --- if she’d say no..  if she’d say yes, and he’d try too hard to make her feel better. 

[axhiisms]

A small, sad laugh escaped her mouth && she stepped away from him. Something about what he said just struck something wrong inside of her. Her laughter became a little more frantic, a little more pain-filled. Green eyes locked onto him as she backed up away from him again. A quick shake of her head && she spoke quietly.

❛ Yeah, like the dad cares that he has a son. Like he knows. My son is the product of a drunken night. I’ve tried to contact the man but… I’ve given up on that. But you’re right. I’m not even feeling like this because of my thoughts, or my feelings. I’m feeling this because I’m tired, && that it’s not true. I’m sorry for… even saying anything. Could you… just lay Josh down when you’re ready to go to bed? Goodnight. ❜

She shut him out. Ashley shut Chris out, && it hurt. But his words stabbed her heart. That’s why she had never told him her feelings. That’s why she had never said a thing to him. && now she was paying for what she had said.

[imabcdass-blog]

   Normally her laughter was something he’d await to hear, a sort of relief since there was already so much stress placed onto her just for taking care of her child.. but this wasn’t that at all. He knew what he said had hurt her, far too late, && what she said in response to him truly shocked him.  Of course he knew that she tried to contact him again, he was someone that should be in Joshua’s life, but wasn’t, and in reality he should be the one to be here.

      Ashley probably felt abandoned, if anything, and he was the one that was still standing with her.. he didn’t want her to think he expected anything form her, of course he hadn’t --- he didn’t even want to accept her offer when it was given to him out of fear that she’d regret it later: even if he so desperately wanted to.

    He could almost still feel her head on his shoulder, before she left, and for a while he just stood there, holding Joshua -- looking out the window, pretending none of that had actually happened and she was still sound asleep: probably NOT crying herself to sleep as he thought this.....

      ACTUALLY,   he thought he might be ready to do the same thing. Deciding to put the kid to rest, he made his way back into the living room: eating everything he could find that was over the amount of a reasonable amount of calories, and proceeded to pass out on the couch. 

[axhiisms]

Ashley shook her head gently, her hand reaching out to brush lightly against her son’s cheek. She watched the child stir lightly before settling again. He lit up her life. But, then again… So did Chris. Seeing him play father with her son, watching the way Josh had taken to her best friend… It made her want it to be real. She hated sleeping in different beds than Chris, hated knowing that he was just one room away && she couldn’t do anything about it. Sighing, Ash shook her head again && looked up at him, smiling gently. ❛ Sleep with me again tonight, Chris… I don’t… I don’t like sleeping in a different bed than you. I want this to be real. Not just… Not just an act, Chris. && I know that this may be the exhaustion talking, but it’s true. I… Jesus, I like you a lot, Christopher. ❜

[imabcdass-blog]

        he had paused for a moment, thinking of what he should say ---- it was very different from what he wanted to say.   he sort of just wanted to put the baby away and kiss her right then and there, but this wasn’t the time for that: nor the place.   instead he’ll back up only slightly, still holding Joshua. 

    ❛  .. I’m not the dad, Ashley.  Even if I was it’d just be because of how well me and him are getting along, I know you like me... I mean, you’re my best friend. I know I’m yours --- but, I said I’d be here for you, and I will be... but you’re not feeling like this because of something you just realized, it’s ---   look, it’s pretty late.. both of us are probably just really tired. We should get some rest.  ❜  

[imabcdass-blog]

╳┊:   JOSHUA.

“Come on Chocise, kiss me.”  Josh wiggled the mistletoe over his head and grinned.

    A roll of his eyes, and he tried to pull Josh’s hand DOWN from above his head.       ❛  shut up, dude,  I’m not going to kiss you.      ESPECIALLY not when it’s even     December yet..  ❜          It’s not as though he was even serious about it, anyway. 

[imabcdass-blog]

╳┊:   HAS HANDS. 

“Do you need a hand?”

       ❛  — well, I’d like some HELP too but if you’re looking to get rid of a hand.  ❜

[imabcdass-blog]

╳┊:    UNGRATEFUL.

    ❝ you know, saying it like that, you sound like        you want to make out with the ice cream…        please do NOT do that. – chris… here’s the           thing. you wont. you won’t be able to pry the          ice cream outta my cold, dead hands even if          you tried. ❞

     ❛   HEY -- don’t kink shame me.         Maybe I’ll go out and           buy myself some ice cream,  eat it,  I don’t have to give           you ANYTHING.   When was the last time you gave me           anything back for all of my kindness??  ❜

[imabcdass-blog]

╳┊:   ASHLEY.

Raising Joshua on her own was hard. A drunken night out with friends had produced him. Not that Ashley regretted her son. He was her light in the dark, a beacon of hope that kept her afloat. But now Chris was here &&… She saw the way he played with Josh. Saw how he treated her son as if the child were her own. At night, she cried. The stress && weight of the day always crashed down on her, && she cried herself to sleep. Sometimes, she curled up beside Chris in the guest room where he was staying.

Tonight, she slid up behind him in the kitchen, reaching around him for a coffee mug, && a K-Cup. She smiled at his words && nodded. ❛ He loves you, Chris. Of course he’ll listen to you when it’s bedtime. ❜  She chuckled tiredly && leaned her head on his shoulder lightly.

      he felt his heart speed up as she spoke, her head resting on his shoulder --- of course he tried not to let it get to his head.  He was glad he could relieve some of her stress, the nights when he was able to spend with her were... well, pretty amazing.  He liked talking to her, just lying with her, and for most of his time here he wondered why they bothered to be in separate beds.  NOT AS IF he’d ever suggest the idea to her. 

         ❛ He loves you too Ash. I just know how to put the little guy in his place. ❜   he chuckled, hugging the child closer and putting some weight onto her.  While he knew he shouldn’t be doing this, probably, playing family with his best friend;    he couldn’t bring himself to not. Chris knew he had feelings for Ash long before this   ---   but this,  this was nothing he’d ever imagine happening before... he should really get a girlfriend, or something.   ❛ You’re going back to bed, right? I mean, I made sure he went back to sleep so you could get some rest too. ❜

[imabcdass-blog]

i feel so worthlses n annoying 2day : )

[imabcdass-blog]

╳┊:   ASHLEY.

❛ You’re right. Pretending that everything’s okay isn’t good. It never was. But…We’re allowed to be happy right now. We’re allowed to smile, to laugh, && everything like that. ❜

Ashley replied before raking a hand through her hair. Then she turned her eyes && smiled up at him. A night in with Chris, without worrying about him leaving in the middle of the night anymore… Nodding, she held out her hands.  ❛ Let’s order pizza && stay home. We can go out tomorrow night. ❜

      ❛  -----  alright.  okay. I just feel like I should be yelled at, or something.. it’s hard to even think about what just happened.  I feel like I should start panicking any minute now.  ❜

     though he wasn’t yet;   his focus was on her mainly.  he didn’t want his thoughts to drift to what COULD happen, and run off apologizing to his now.. ex.  he was actually dating Ashley. Officially, he could tell other people without fear..  or, without over exaggeration.    ❛  but, as a disclaimer, I’ll probably do a bunch of stupid things...  I hope you will too, or else it MIGHT make me look bad.  ❜