Hi, I'm Lis. I'm 20. I like writing. And thats all really.
My favorite colour is green and I really like frogs!
There, some useless information about me I guess.
Making a bg3 blog soon
Masterlist... Or something like that
I'll add more to this eventually, but like, I need to refresh myself on some things before I'll add them on. If you have any suggestions, I'm open to them.
Any characters, but there are of course, rules.
Also: I appreciate Criticism but just to note I AM dyslexic. Sometimes writing is difficult for me, in terms of getting my sentences across in understandable ways, spelling, and punctuation.
The RULES... I guess.
18+ characters for smutty stuff ONLY.
I'll write some fluffy
I don't like angst. But occasionally it's okay. I'll write it, but not often.
Anyone below the age of 18 is platonic fluff only.
I will add hints as to what kind of imagine it is.
Does this make sense? I hope so.
Anyway, fandoms? Yeah, will add to these later
Genshin Impact
Bungou Stray Dogs
Honkai star rail (not made yet)
A short list, sure, but more will be added. And occasionally some will be removed. The only permenant things on there are Genshin and Bungou Stray Dogs.
Nothing is proofread, we dive in headfirst and only make adjustments when someone starts complaining enough.
I will also be creating another masterlist (will be linked on here soon) of other characters from other fandoms where there just won't be as much written works, like, one off kind of things? Idk, there aren't as many characters for what will be in the other one.
She met Nikolai at the sky casino, he was visiting, and she was working. She was an ability user, according to her profile on log, which is what drew him to her, because why would a person with an ability as cool as shape shifting work in such a mundane job when they could be so much more?
So nikolai went to see her, she was dealing cards, a classic game, nothing he was really interested in, he just wanted to talk to her.
So they got to talking. And they hit it off. Nikolai tried to play it cool, to be the perfect gentleman, to charm her in his own... special way.
They had so much in common too! Like... um... obscure poetry...? Okay, well maybe not much.
But they went on a date anyway.
A fancy restaurant, gorgeous food, perfect lighting, a cosy intimate atmosphere. It was everything she could have ever hoped for.
So, in a bold move, she invited him back to her place.
He was charming as ever, complimenting the home, complimenting her, they opened a bottle of wine and shared a few glasses, talking, getting closer and closer... and then nikolai kissed her.
She kissed back, because how could she not, he was her dream - attractive, charming and funny - if a little silly and ridiculous. And he'd treated her like the perfect gentleman would. She really REALLY hoped this would go great.
It got heated, more intense, touches exchanged. And eventually he had her in her bed.
That's when Nikolai said those few dreadful words
"I want you to turn into the woman of my dreams - the woman i want most"
She froze her heart pounding in her ears "w-who is she?" She regretted ever asking.
He leaned in, close to her ear as he pressed fully against her, a way that was far too sensual for what he was asking of her.
He whispered a name in her ear. Reiko. A name that made her shudder and her blood run cold. It was a co-worker of hers, a close friend nikolai had met in his pursuit of her. Reiko was a beautiful woman, ideal even.
It was a stupid mistake when she did as he asked and transformed into Reiko for a night of passion.
She felt disgusting the next morning. Used and filthy. She felt like she disrespected Reiko and herself over what happened.
So she sent him away. He tried to stay - he really really tried. But in the end... even though he'd slept with her, he'd chosen another woman. He'd asked for another woman. He'd called out another woman's name, after spending so much time making her feel special.
It snowed where I live and I'm just a little bit exited. (Yes, This is infact my view)
Dazai, Ranpo + Fyodor
It's been a while. Let's hope this is okay
Dazai
• Dazai was up all night watching the snow fall.
• He would've woken you up, had you not looked so peaceful.
• Besides, you'd get to see it when it had settled in the morning.
• When the morning did come, he insisted you both go walking out in the snow.
• He just wanted to walk, thought it would be pleasant.
• He wouldn't complain much, but if you did...
• "My hands are kind of cold..."
• "You should have brought some gloves then"
• And he proceeds to tease you by showing off how warm his own gloves are.
• He does eventually give it up though and pull your own gloves out of his pocket.
• (He saw you forgot them before leaving)
• He takes you to the park, and you sit, just enjoying the scenery for a while.
• And on the way back, he pushes you over into a particularly large pile of fluffy snow.
• Pull him in too, would you?
Ranpo
• He didn't know it was snowing! Not at first anyway.
• You wake up before him, you always do, and when you spotted the fresh layer of snow on the ground outside, you tried to wake him up.
• But he swatted you away asking for 5 more minutes
• 30 minutes later, he's rushing into the front room asking why you didn't tell him it had snowed.
• 🙄
• It only takes him 10 minutes to get ready to go out in it, and he's rushing you to get ready too.
• He's exited. And you probably are too. It's snow afterall!
• He wants to build a sculpture of you out of snow, and you both go to the agency rooftop so he can. (What if they need him for a hard case or something? It's good to be close by)
• He does make the 'sculpture', though... it doesn't look like you, or anything at all really.
• Still, you tell him how wonderful it is (its the thought that counts, right?)
• He knows your lying, but doesn't mind it any, he still had fun.
• He asks you to make snowangels with him next, and in the little snow left on the rooftop (the rest having already been used) you make a pair of snow angels, before going back inside.
• It was too cold to stay out much longer, and your sure that had you not said anything, he would have stayed outside and frozen.
• It's a good job your there to stop that from happening.
Fyodor
• Your going to take him out in the snow? Really? No.
• Fyodor would much rather stay inside when it's snowing, where he's warm and comfortable.
• Though, if you want to head on outside and enjoy yourself, he won't stop you - infact, he encourages it!
• But you come inside and tell him your gonna go skating on the Frozen lake with Nikolai?
• Wait for him, he just needs to put his boots on and he'll be joining you.
• Not that he doesn't trust Nikolai - but he doesn't Trust him.
• You going with that clown to a frozen lake can only end one very bad way.
• Maybe he wouldn't do it intentionally, but he'd still do it - get you in some trouble that is.
• Fyodor knows how much you enjoy the snow and (in a rare show of kindness) doesn't want to take that away.
• So his only option is to accompany you.
• He doesn't like going out in the snow, finding no interest in snowball fights, building snowmen or other sculptures.
• It's also far too cold.
• But it's somewhat nice seeing you enjoy yourself, and funny watching you land a large snowball right in Nikolai's face.
• By the time you get home, he's ready for a long rest, making a beeline straight for the chair or bed.
• This is your chance to cuddle him as much as you want!
• I mean. You can do that anyway, but... it's nice to sit snuggled together watching the snow out the window with a warm drink sometimes.
I've beeb focused on a lot of different things recently, so I've been just a little distracted with a small case of writers block. But the snow outside was the perfect opportunity to try again!
The plan was never to get back with Dazai, but since no one wants to break up with him, there are two versions 😙
No chuuya in this one unfortunately 😔 couldn't think of how to do it.
Part 1
No one could read his reaction when he opened and read your letter. His face blank, entirely void of any emotion. It was a little unnerving, and Atsushi was hesitant to ask what was wrong - what had happened.
He didn't say anything, but his eyes found two certain individuals who ovbiously knew what this was about.
He brushed Atsushi off saying nothing has happened and left the office, in spite of kunikida's protests.
He walked aimlessly for a while, thinking on where he could have possibly gone wrong, what had happened. He really wished he could see you right now, that you'd just appear infront of him so he could ask you what he had done to make you leave him.
But... when had he last seen you? He remembered a walk, and a goodbye kiss on your doorstep- which at the time you didn't seem all that interested in, and he had originally put it down to you just being tired. That had been... how long ago now? A few days? A week? No, two weeks. He had messaged you twice during those two weeks between then and now.
He sends you a message asking if you can talk. But 5 minutes later he's already lost his patience and is anxiously dialing your number, waiting for you to pick up the phone. Maybe you'll tell him its all a joke. But dazai is a realistic guy and knows that's not happening.
A week later and he's at your door, he gets there just as you leave - he stands behind you as you lock your door, announcing himself quietly so he doesn't startle you too much.
You don't startle at all, but you also pay him very little notice, simply greeting him with a quiet hello and moving to go on about your day
"Can we at least talk about this?" He asks. It pains you how desperate he sounds, but...
"What is there to talk about? You've clearly moved on with your life since the Mafia, leaving your past behind - a past that I wad part of... It's time I move on too"
He doesn't... get it. He's moved on from the Mafia... he didn't mean to move on from you too
"What do you- why?"
"Weeks Dazai. Sometimes, it takes weeks for you to remember I'm even there. Everywhere we go, everything we do - I initiate it, I invite you in... sometimes you came, sometimes you didn't. Usually you were far too busy to remember that I was always there, waiting"
He tries to remember the last time he asked YOU on a date, and took YOU out... it had been a while indeed, and he was starting to recognise his mistakes, you could see the gears turning as he realised he'd been so caught up in his new life, that he'd forgotten he dragged you along with him.
"No more Dazai. I'm moving on, so you can move on too"
-------
He doesn't. He doesn't move on, a year later and he still thinks over your last conversation. Occasionally he asks Yosano how your doing, knowing she kept in touch with you.
You have a new boyfriend - that's what she told him. You moved on, found someone who always has time for you. Someone who helped you out after the breakup. She won't say who, but he has an inkling. And honestly? He's glad.
He sees you occasionally too - you look happy again, the happiest he'd ever seen you infact. Perhaps it was for the best that you left him, that he hadn't kept holding on and stringing you along with him.
Your new boyfriend is someone he knows, someone he never thought you'd go for. Someone he'd never expected to chase after you. But he did, and that makes him hard for dazai to look at. But he'll manage. He always does.
He was outside your door within a week, knocking frantically - it was unusual for him, but he was desperate. He needed you back.
You were on the otherside of the door getting ready to go out, slightly panicked by the frantic banging on your door.
You were hesitant but opened it slowly, until you saw who it was, where you then straightened up and opened the door fully.
"What?"
"Not even a hello?" He tried to play it cool.
But you know better.
"Get on with it? What do you have to say?" Being cold to him hurt. But it's the only way you'd get through this without throwing yourself into his arms full of tears.
He takes a deep breath.
"Look, I'm... I don't want to break up with you. I don't want you to leave me..."
"Okay? And?" You could feel your defences slip when he flinched ever so slightly - the briefest show of vulnerability only you ever saw.
"I get it. Why you want to leave. I've been... distracted. Caught up with other things - a whole new life. And I forgot, I brought you into this with me. I put you in danger, wether or not you know it, and proceeded to act as though you weren't there. I... understand if you want to leave me-"
"I did leave you"
"Let me finish" he takes another breath. "I don't want you to leave. Maybe it's selfish, but I don't care, I just can't let you go. After everything"
"But you can't just keep me around here waiting for when you finally decide you want to show up! I can't wait for you forever Osamu"
"I know that..."
"We rarely spend time together, and when we do it's only because I asked and you remembered I exist. I can't deal with it, it just feels like... your leaving me behind too, like the Mafia"
He didn't know what to say, for once, he was speechless, but he knew he had to come up with something, anything to get you to stay.
"I... love you, please..."
You could feel the tears in your eyes, spilling over. You had to hold it in, but couldn't.
"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I promise, just give me a chance and I'll make it better, I'll see you more, I'll pay more attention, anything you want, just tell me, and I'll be there"
Forming words was hard, all you could do was nod and move in to hug him. You loved this man with your whole heart, and you truly believed he loves you too. Even if he slipped up, you don't think those feelings ever did leave.
For that reason alone, you were happy to give him another chance.
-----
He did improve, of course he did. After your... tearful conversation, you let him into your apartment, anabdoning your previous plans.
And it got better. He spent more time with you, and a year later you moved in together.
_________________________________________
Never thought I was one for writing happy endings. Oh well
In which they ignore you and it reveals some problems with your relationship
Part 2
Dazai
Its been over 24 hours now and he hasn't texted you back. You know he's okay because he's been online and he's seen your message - that and you asked Yosano to make sure he hadn't successfully died or something.
But nope, he's fine.
You don't think he did it on purpose, probably just quickly checked your message made a mental note to check it later, which he subsequently forgot about. Still, it hurts.
It also has you thinking. You've been in a relationship with this man since he was in the Mafia. You never were part of the Mafia, just someone he met during his time there, and someone he got into a relationship with.
Even when he ran away from the Mafia he kept things going with you, and even now he's part of the armed detective agency, he's still going with you, and you love him more than ever now. But it just doesn't feel the same.
You don't want to hog all his attention, but it somehow feels that he gives you even less attention now than he used too. He forgets about you often, doesn't reply to your messages, forgets that he agreed to come over, forgets when he's arranged to meet you.
You always message Yosano to ask if he's still there or if she knows where he is 30 minutes after the arranged time for your dates, and come to learn that he's perfectly fine, just caught up doing other things.
You just feel... left behind. Like your part of his past that he's slowly letting go of as he gets on with his new life. Just another thing for him to leave and forget about.
You even briefly wonder if there's someone else, but you trust him enough to not be like that.
It does little to provide you any relief though.
You can't take it anymore.
--------
It's been 2 weeks since he last saw you, your last date having been a quick walk through the park - which was nice, but... it didn't change your mind.
You decided not to arrange any plans with him after that, and wait for him to arrange with you. But he didn't. And so now? You head into the ADA office, ready to break up with him. Preferably not infront of all his coworkers, you will of course ask to talk in private.
Alas, he isn't there. Ranpo and Yosano are present in the office, talking by the formers desk, they catch sight of you by the door, both giving you a sympathetic look. Yosano knows what your here too do, and ranpo being - well, ranpo, you assume he knows too.
"He's out at the moment. You just missed him" yosano tells you.
"Oh..."
"You could... write a letter and leave it here? We'll make sure to give it to him"
"I... okay"
You reluctantly agree and yosano gives you everything you need to begin, even Pulling out a chair so you can sit at one of the current vacant desks to write.
And with the detective and doctor looking over your shoulder, you begin your letter.
"Dazai..."
Chuuya
Chuuya didn't usually ignore you, so when he did, you didn't worry too much. At least until it had passed 1 day mark, then you worried a little - you knew the nature of what he did, but also knew he could handle himself.
Still, it concerned you a little when you sent him a message on a day you knew he had no work and he still hadn't replied to you a day and a half later.
Now, you weren't an idiot, and knew what this was probably about - his work. He'd voiced his concerns before, at the start of your relationship, and again during - he's worried about your safety. It's why he rarely ignored your messages and even checked in with you often, he cares, a lot. That just happens to mean he also worries a lot too.
And he does this sometimes. Just stops replying to your messages, hoping you'll drift away and leave him - find someone new and much less dangerous. In the end he usually came back, apologising and telling you about how worried he was feeling and what his intentions were. And fine, sure... but, it had been upsetting you over and over for a while so whatever his reason was rendered pointless now - hell, shouldn't have even been a reason in the first place, it was a shitty thing to do. You know it, he knows it, even the clerk in the coffee shop you frequent knows it - she's been telling you to just do it and break up with him for ages "since that's what he so desperately wants"
She did clarify to you that she didn't mean that sincerely since he's proven time and time again that he doesn't want to break up with you, but she also said that you can't keep doing it. Can't be trapped in an endless cycle that was clearly impacting you more than you initially realised.
You listened to her, because of course you did, there was sense in what she was saying. He cared about you and you cared about him, but you needed to take care of yourself first and foremost - and staying around waiting for him to realise himself was not doing you any favors. It was an emotional rollercoaster.
And enough was enough.
So when he came back, it was the final time. On your doorstep in the rain, you told him it was over - just like he wanted.
You knew it was a lie, you knew that wasn't what he (or you) wanted, but you believed if to be for the best. You couldn't carry on.
And he accepted that. Played as though that's what he'd been waiting for this whole time. Bid you farewell and wished you luck in the future, before walking away, soaked in the rain.
Even if it made you feel a little bad, you didn't go chasing after him.
_________________________________________
My own boyfriend keeps forgetting to reply to me 🥲
I wrote this to feel better lol. Will check it at a later date for any errors and such.
If he was being honest? He dated you because of peer pressure. You were clearly into him, and while he wasn't interested, he was 'happy' enough to have you around as a friend - but apparently that was enough for others (minus higuchi) to start talking about the two of you as though you were a couple.
Akutagawa wasn't interested in relationships, but having heard so much of it, he decided to just go ahead and do it. Everyone seemed to want it to happen, maybe they'd stop when it did?
So he asked you out, you didn't go on a date or anything, he just asked, and you said yes, like he knew you would.
He wasn't that into you, not even when you had sex for the first time, or the second, and he was afraid that after the third you could tell. So he started trying, in his relationship with you he put in slightly more effort, enough until it became genuine, until he found himself wanting to spend time with you, to comfort you, to be comforted by you... to love you.
It took a while, but he did come to love you, really.
There was just one thing he had a hard time getting past.
He liked you, really, he loves you. But to him your annoying. His sister finds you endearing, all your habits. How talkative and touchy you are with everyone - your a very VERY friendly person. Extroverted.
And you always want to help, even when he doesn't want it.
He doesn't know how to voice this.
When you cuddle up at night, he hates it. It's nice, but he doesn't know how to react, he can't sleep.
When you ask him what's wrong, and instead of letting it go when he tells you he's fine, you ask him again because somehow you can see, you can always see when he's not fine. He never tells you.
This is all new to him. He both loves it and hates it at the same time. He knows he should tell you how he's feeling but he doesn't. And so, loosing himself in his own mind, spiraling in his thoughts. He comes to the conclusion.
He doesn't love you.
He's wrong, and part of him knows that. He went through that stage already, and knows how much he has come to appreciate you and adore and love you. But he's new to relationships, and however much you understand that, there's nothing you can do if he won't talk to you. He doesn't account for the fact that he tried to avoid his problems instead of talking it though.
It doesn't take too long for you to notice a change in his behaviour. He doesn't love you and he acts like it. You were bound to notice how distant he was getting, that he brushed you off more often, how he avoided spending time with you because there was always something better to do.
And unlike him, weren't afraid to voice your concerns.
"I just feel like... your pulling away, if you know what I mean? I understand you have your problems but we're a couple, I can help you, if you'll let me?"
Of course you'd help him, and his heart warms slightly at that. How much you care, and he almost finds himself internally swooning at the thought until he reminds himself 'he doesn't love you'.
You don't want to leave him, but fear you may have no choice when he suddenly snaps at you. You were just talking about your day, sure you were really animated, and you were talking a lot - quite frankly, you may have felt you could be a little annoying, but for him to shout the way he did before storming out because he - in his words "couldn't stand the sound of your stupid whining voice anymore" was a bit too much of an overreaction on his end.
You weren't going to stick around for it. People made mistakes, it happened, but that - and all his pulling away, general rudeness and distancing had proven too much. You loved Akutagawa, still loved him, but you wouldn't stay for someone who didn't love you back, and made it ovbious.
So you spoke to Gin one last time, and left Akutagawa a letter (because you had no idea where he had gone) and left.
He didn't have much of a reaction when he read your letter, just left it on the side and carried on about his day.
But he did feel somewhat empty - that was easily filled with work though.
Speaking of, he did see you in the offices. During your time together, and getting to know you better, be forgot you were also part of the port Mafia. You were really far too kind for this place, you stood out.
He tried talking to you, approaching you and speaking as normal, like he did before everything. You were polite as he expected, and listened to him quietly before exusing yourself
"Sorry, ive gotta go, Chuuya needs me for a job"
"Oh... okay"
It takes two weeks of an empty bed, a quiet house and longing stares to the woman ignoring his existence for him to realise his mistake.
He drove you way from him. He didn't want that, yet he had himself so convinced that he didn't love you. So convinced that he'd convinced you of the same conviction. So much so that you left him.
It takes another week before he tries to talk to you again, he plans to open up and tell you about his troubles, about what went wrong, what he should have been telling you all along, how new it all was. He'd practiced what he wanted to say all night long, and when it came to the day, he sought you out at work - but he couldn't find you. So he did the next best thing and found Chuuya instead - if he rendered correctly from all you told him, you reported directly to the executive.
"Sorry, I don't know what to tell ya. She left this morning, followed in that idiots footsteps and ran away from the Mafia"
Akutagawa was shocked, of course, you just up and left the Mafia? Was this his fault.
Chuuya seemed to notice his expression shift slightly and sighed
"Look, I don't think her decision to leave has had anything to do with you, she's just had a tough time these last few years with us, suppose the Mafia life wasn't for her"
You'd been having trouble with the Mafia? Had you ever actually told him? Akutagawa tries to think back. He remembered a conversation about a mission gone wrong - you never elaborated much, never said what had happened, and he never bothered to ask.
"YN and her ability were never really suited to this place" was the last thing Chuuya said on the matter.
And that was it. If you had really followed in Dazai's footsteps, or worse yet, if Dazai had helped you escape (he could just see something like that happening) then he had no chance of finding you, but he could try. That was the least he could do. He recruited Gin in of his efforts too.
Gin found you, she never really lost you, always knew where abouts you were, but she wasn't about to drag you back to the Mafia, not if you didn't want to go, they'd kill you and as much as he won't admit it, she knew it would ruin her brother more than he already is.
So she left you be, until Akutagawa asked, then she approached you. Why you left wasn't her buisness. But she had to know. The relationship between you and he'd brother? Would you go back? Could it be saved?
Your answer sent her back to Akutagawa - telling him that she couldnt find you.
Your answer - "I don't know"
It was another year before he saw you again. You looked happy, just walking around all the sweatshops you could find, carrying bags full of sugary treats. He paid little mind to who accompanied you, just glad to have finally found you. He hurried to approach, but stopped before he could get too close, when he noticed. When Chuuya said you followed in Dazai's footsteps and ran away, he thought that was all.
But it wasn't.
You went and joined the enemy.
And now he knew there was no resurrecting what you once had.
It's been a while since I've written anything, I'll put my notes on that at the end, for now, enjoy some Vampire Lords while you play the part of their lovely vampire spawn.
Some dark themes at some point I guess.
Dazai
• I can imagine that, as a vampire, he's kinda useless in terms of being a vampire lord. Like, he's still Dazai, so he's still intelligent and sort of charming in his own way, quick thinker, all the usual, I won't drown you with the details.
• But I imagine his ability - no longer human - translates over to vampirism.
• If he were a spawn, this would be great! He couldn't be compelled like others. But he's not, he's a vampire lord, he cannot magically compel others, he can't change forms, he can't... anything cool or dangerous is off the table really.
• Expect for turning people - he can still turn others into his vampire spawn, not that he's really felt the need.
• Being a vampire means being able to roam freely only during the night, or sometimes on a particularly cloudy day.
• But that's probably the only reason he met you. His damned curse let him meet the most beautiful warm blooded, living person he'd ever seen.
• Your life wasn't difficult to infiltrate, for dazai anyway. Any other person might have had a hard time. But not this guy!
• The how's and the whys are all irrelevant now- facts of the past. All that's necessary to know, is that you became his vampire spawn.
• Not the first, but the only one at current. You never asked what happened to the one or ones before you, and he never told you (but you could probably guess)
• He doesn't treat you any differently from normal just because your now his spawn.
• Your in a relationship as healthy as a relationship with Dazai can be.
• He can't compell you and has no actual control over anything you do, so he has no need to worry that your not genuine, doesn't have to worry that your staying around against your own free will. He's content.
• Just worried.
• More for your safety than anything, you may be undead and permenantly by his side, but you could still die.
• As a result, he perfers you stay away from him in areas that are too public.
• If it's like a dark quiet park with barely any people there, or a really obscure unheard of restaurant, or even a tiny only movie theatre that no one goes to anymore - then its great! He likes having dates and stuff in places like these.
• He just won't take you anywhere with a lot of people incase someone spots you and connects the dots
• Overall - he's not controlling, obsessive, scary or even remotely threatening, he's just a little cautious.
• This... is not a pleasant experience. At first anyway.
Nikolai
• Nikolai is a not so busy, busy guy. And isn't interested in serious romantic relationships, he's a vampire lord with no spawn and no intention to take any spawn.
• Claims he has no need for them. And he doesn't, I mean, his ability is pretty damn cool, and super useful, so that's that.
• How you became his spawn though? Totally an accident.
• You were someone he thought was hot, and someone he occasionally engaged in acrivities with. It was a mutually beneficial thing no harm was being done.
• Until he got a little too adventurous and bit you. It happened on occasion, and was typically fine, but he went too far and ended up turning you instead of just taking a little blood.
• He doesn't know how because that isn't what he intended, he didn't even recognise he was doing it until he realised you felt cold, but was very much still alive and moving about.
• It lead to a whole fight and everything - a massive argument and you didn't see eachother for months. You were understandably annoyed that he turned you.
• He just thought it was funny.
• I mean - he wasn't thrilled either, but like, it was kinda funny.
• Then he realised that he could essentially feel where you were all the time. That got old after a while though, as did avoiding you (technically you were avoiding him)
• So he approaches you. He's not really into the whole serious conversation, but indulges you nonetheless and listens to what you have to say.
• And in turn he tells you it was an accident.
• You leave on slightly better terms and go back to your old routine. Though now it feels slightly different.
• He doesn't realise he's doing it until its too late and he's talking you out on nice dates and looking out for you more often and asking how your day was - and of course, seeing you for more than just the benefits.
• The realisation was not a good one for him and he 100% tried to kill you over it.
• News flash - you survived and begun avoiding him again. Which honestly hurt him way more than killing you would have.
• Don't worry for too long though, after about a year or so, he'll settle down, it's just a matter of wether or not your willing to let him back into your life and potentially have a more serious relationship with him after everything he did.
• If you choose a relationship, he's actually sweet - doesn't use his powers on you unless your in imminent danger of literal death. Also very attentive and gives you basically anything you ask for, even if he has to steal it.
Jouno
• If you'd rather not, we'll now you have an insane stalker who can literally sniff you out like a bloodhound. It's not fun, and the only assurance you really have is that he won't hurt you and will always keep a distance.
• He'd be a scary vampire.
• He's scary enough as a normal human, as a member of the hunting dogs.
• But a vampire lord?
• He's not knowingly a bad guy - let's put it like that.
• Teruko is the only reason the two of you met. It took her a lot of convincing to even get him to agree to date anyone (he seemed tense and was being annoying. She thought he could do with going out and having a good time, a little relaxation, a little distraction, and thought a date was the perfect idea, but ovbiously she wasnt gonna go)
• When he meets you, he's all smiles, extremely pleasant, seemingly caring, AND he has some sort of job in law enforcement? He doesn't tell you what he does at said job, bit he presents as the perfect guy.
• If perhaps a little distant. See, he's good at putting up that act, but if you pay just the right amount of attention, and look closely enough, he's not entirely genuine. Not honest.
• You personally think it's because he's not interested, and your more than happy to leave it at that. It was still a pleasant time. And you weren't really looking for anything particular anyway.
• So it surprised you when he called and arranged to meet you again. He didn't really ask, more so just told you where he was gonna be.
• Still, you turned up.
• It's like this for a while. He's just enjoying your life presence, and it buds from there. He never tells you he's a vampire, he wants you to figure it out for yourself.
• He leaves little hints.
• He makes sure you notice how cold his skin is, he ensures that at some point (probably after a few months) he lays with you and has your head resting on his chest precisely where you should hear a heartbeat - your not going to hear anything, and it will all leave you questioning.
• Especially when his teeth, that are just that tad bit too sharp brush across your neck, surprising you and worrying you a little - why are his teeth so sharp?
• You don't believe in vampires, or didn't anyway. They couldn't have been real. But then he bit you, not enough to actually draw blood, but enough to let you know that he could, if he wanted.
• Of course it scared you, but he'd worked your trust at this point, so you weren't necessarily afraid of him.
• You looked to him, and though he couldn't see you, he could hear your heart rate pick up rapidly, before slowing back down to, only a slightly worried pace.
• And then you let him drink from you.
• That's how it was, for years. He cared about you, sure, he was more than happy to be in some sort of relationship with you, definitely, but it wasn't ever meant to go that far. It was just... well, your blood was not the only thing about you he found thoroughly enticing.
• Still, he kept you around, alive, for a few years until he eventually asked if you'll spend an Eternity with him, if you'll become his spawn.
• If you didn't agree - then the relationship was over. He wanted something more permenant with you than the fleeting moment that was a simple humans life time.
• If you agreed - well, he was quick to turn you. He told you about all the drawbacks, and made sure you understood - you were stronger and better, but you couldn't go out in direct sunlight, and would need to feed on blood.
• And then you were his for an Eternity.
• He was definitely controlling, definitely wanted to know where you were all the time. And definately used his powers on you.
• Granted that was on a very rare occasion and only happened when you put yourself in danger or someone else put you in danger.
• He hadn't noticed as much before, but he definatly noticed a lot more about you after he turned you, and ultimately determined you weren't safe on your own - he was wrong, and you can convince him to give you breathing space, because a bump against the side of a table is not a life threatening injury.
• So, after getting used to having you around permenantly and being his first 'spawn' and by extension serious relationship, he does calm down and leaves you to your own devices most of the time.
• ...by the way, he still never told you what his job was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am seriously out of practice. I've been ill for over 3 months now and still am currently ill 😅 it'll get better eventually but, there's been that.
That and baldurs gate 3 took over my life
I'll try and get back into writing. This was a warm up.
Decided a Rewrite was in order. So many mistakes in the last one.
A Detective, stood behind you, swaying side to side in all his 'glorious fatigue', trying to prove to you how tired he really was... but, well, you were on the train, heading home, standing up because there were no seats available. It would be less than ideal if he were to fall asleep right now.
"Why didn't we get the earlier train?" He whined
Sure, the Train was busy, it always was at this time with the work and school traffic - many other people also going home.
"Do I need to remind you WHO insisted on visiting the bakery and WHO told you it would make us late?"
He ignored you.
You hadn't meant to come across so snappy, but you were also tired, a little annoyed. Ranpo understood that at least, and left it alone, taking to leaning on your back instead.
"I'm tired"
"Aren't we all"
"Hm"
You sighed "you can't go to sleep yet Ranpo"
"Hm"
It got quiet between the two of you, almost too quiet. You took a glance back, praying to the gods that he was still awake.
He was not.
"Damnit" you cursed
Your stop was close, and there was Ranpo, snoozing away on your back.
"Hey" you tried to nudge him "You need to wake up, seriously"
He didn't budge. He was off and away in dreamland.
You didn't do this often, but seeing as your stop was next up, you saw no other choice you'd have to carry him home. Lest you wanted to leave him and loose the 'worlds greatest detective'
All things considered, it wasn't too difficult, but that didn't mean it was easy either. Guy was playing deadweight, leaving you to wobble off of the train with him hoisted up on your back, ignoring the stares of the quiet passerbys.
It got easier as it went on, the walk. You begun to resent the situation much less as you looked around yourself, admiring the landscape, encased in a warm glow, painted on every building and evert road; the occasional tree providing much needed areas of shade. The honey glazed sun was ethereal on the soft horizon.
You weren't aware of the eyes that watched you, taking in your individual beauty. Ranpo had woken up a while ago, and wanted to take advantage of your obliviousness to get a free ride home, no walking necessary. So he had taken to watching you as your wondering eyes shone in the light and the sun kissed your skin and reflected off your hair, like a halo. You really were beautiful.
But the walk had to end eventually. As you arrived home, he hopped off your back, swiftly snatching the keys to unlock the door, leaving you slightly bewildered.
"How long have you been awake?"
"A while"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know there were so many typo's and errors in the original one. Even one so bad where instead of 'minute' I wrote 'minimalistic'. I missed a letter and autocorrect didn't like that.
As a member of the port Mafia, you were no stranger to loosing friends, comrades, though it was usually a result of the job.
In your personal life though... yeah, it was pretty much the same situation, with a few tweaked details.
You've always had a hard time making friends, and keeping them. You always assume its your fault.
It could be a number of other things. Poor choice in friends, you not doing enough to keep the friendship going, them not doing enough to keep the friendship going, drifting apart, personalities that just don't mesh, among other things of the sort.
Even when you find all these reasons, you still arrive to the same conclusion. It's all your fault.
But, you found a solution, a way to stop your friends from leaving you.
Over the years, you found that acts of service help. Doing things for these people, agreeing with these people, letting them dump their emotional baggage on you, buying things for them (even when you weren't in a good enough financial situation for it)
Ultimately, you found, the only way you could keep your friends around was to do whatever they wanted you to.
If only you hadn't been so wrong.
When Chuuya first joined the Mafia, he didn't know you, and you didn't know him. You were just some other underling, you worked for so and so doing such and such, he'd only occasionally pass you in the hallway.
Still, he had the biggest crush on you. You were just so beautiful, to pretty, so sweet. You seemed out of place in the Mafia headquarters.
The more he thought about you, the more you started appearing. Like that strange phenomenon when you first notice someone, and then suddenly you see them everywhere.
He wasn't complaining.
He saw how you were with some of your comrades, woman and men, you were always running around, doing things for them, following them wherever they wanted you to go. He didn't think much of it until he got brave enough to approach you and the group of 'friends' you had made a few years later.
"Ah, damn, I don't have enough for lunch! And I was really craving a pizza today too!" One of the woman whined, that's when you perked up, meekly raising your hand, as though you needed permission to speak, their attention went to you.
"I-i could always go and get you something if you like? I have enough on me"
That was nice of you.
"Really?! That would be great! Seriously, your such a life saver YN" she accepted your offer and praised you. And you ate it up with a bright smile and ran off to god knows where.
Once you were out of earshot, he heard the woman snicker
"See, if you want her to do anything, just make her feel bad for you! Pretend your injured, or sick, or that you have no money! Hell, she'll do anything if you so much as say you've had a bad day"
Chuuya froze. What? It was like some teen drama show - the overly kind, energetic friendly girl being taken advantage of by the meaner more callous popular one (Not that she was popular, Chuuya didn't even know her name, nor did he want to)
Well, if that's what it was gonna be like- he'd just become your Knight in shining armor!
If only it was that easy.
You'd come back rather quickly, almost like you'd ran, and handed the food over, the group thanking you, patting your head like dog before they up and left you standing there. You didn't have anything. Left on your own to go hungry for the day because you spent what you had on someone else.
So chuuya introduced himself. And he took you out to lunch.
It was the start of what should have been a beautiful friendship. But you were incredibly dense, and you treated chuuya the same way you treated everyone else, albeit with more effort because he never asked for anything.
And that made you nervous. You didn't know what you could do for him. So you did everything, to the point that everyone knew, and you eventually got assigned to become his 'secretary' of sorts. His personal lackey. Why bother giving anyone else the position when you were there doing it all anyway?
And Chuuya HATED this arrangement. But he couldn't say anything, not when you looked so happy to be working with him.
It takes a few more years before he's ready to tell you that he has feelings for you. He doesn't know what's been stopping him. Perhaps he was worried you didn't feel the same. He wouldn't put it past you to agree to date someone just because they asked, because you felt like you had to.
But then - then you got a boyfriend. Some guy he didn't know, and didn't really want to know.
You'd talk Chuuya's ear off about this man all day long, not singing his praise, but... complaining? It was refreshing, to see you not speaking so highly of someone, but it was also concerning as to the state of your relationship.
Your boyfriend disregarded your feelings, ignored what you said. But you'd tell Chuuya it was okay, because sometimes he just 'forgot'. He never spent much money on you either, which was fine, you didn't expect it. But chuuya distinctly remembers one day in the office watching you pace back and forth because you didn't have enough money for your boyfriends birthday gift - he'd been asking for it for months now, and you couldn't afford it.
Of course chuuya gave you the money for it. And of course you paid him back when he asked you not too.
After a few months Chuuya told you that you had to break up with him, for your own good. But you refused.
"You have no right to tell me that"
He didn't see you much after that. It broke his heart.
But not as much as it did weeks later when you came crying to him in his office. It was about your boyfriend - ex boyfriend now.
Chuuya once spoke about the future with you, where you saw yourself- married? Kids? You said you never wanted kids.
But now you come to him, a small white stick in your hand and tears running down your face. He sits you down and asked what happend.
"H-he didn't want to use... he didn't want to use protection. I asked him too, but he said it felt better without it. He said he'd leave me. So I - I let him..." Chuuya understood what you were saying, and it made his blood boil, he was ready to comitt murder in your name. But then you said something else that worried him.
"Then I..." You couldn't finish the sentence as you handed him the stick you came in with. Chuuya wasn't stupid. He knew what this was. It was the last thing you wanted.
"What are you going to do?" He finally asked.
You didn't answer him, instead leaning and resting your head on his shoulder.
You were tired. So he would let you sleep.
You left after a few hours, and came back a week later. A happy go lucky smile on your face as you ran around doing all the tasks you needed to do plus a few extras on the side. You weren't all there of course, smile faltering ever so slightly when you thought no one was looking. When no one would notice.
But Chuuya noticed. Of course he did. He was always looking. He always has been.
He let's you settle back into life, before he even considers thinking about you romantically again. He's cautious, he doesn't want to hurt you.
But eventually it gets too much. Your acts of service, you keep buying him things. It's too much! He should be the one doing that for you. And he tells you as much.
"But why? That's not... you job?" You asked him.
"It's not yours either"
You think you understand, and you panic - have you been doing too much all this time? You thought that was how friendships were supposed to work.
"You don't... you don't need to keep doing things for me. I want to be the one doing things for you!" He exclaimed, infront of many onlookers. "I want to be the one spoiling you, buying you presents, taking you out to eat, be someone you can lean on, talk to, tell all your problems" he continued further.
"I want to hold your hand. I want to see your face every day, I want to be close to you, and I want you to stop thinking you have to do things for me because you don't have to do anything other than be yourself"
"I didn't fall in love with what you could do for me, I didn't fall in love with the material items you brought me, I just fell in love with you, everything else be damned"
"You...fell in love with me?"
"Of course I did. How could I not"
"Well... i could think of one or two reasons" you tried to joke
"Just shut up. You have no idea how much it hurt, how much I hated myself for not being able to stop others from using you, how much it felt like I was also using you. And I don't want to use you, I just want to be with you... that's all"
"I..." You couldn't hide the shy grin coming to your face. It was out of character for Chuuya, especially infront of so many people to say such things, it was also cheesy. But... it meant to world to you. Chuuya loved you. And a part of you, the part of you you had been trying for so long to push down loved him too.
"You said you love me..." You whispered "you really said you love me!" You said a little louder
"I mean... well... yea, I guess I did"
You couldn't stop yourself from rushing forward to hug him, hiding your face in his shoulder
"You have... no idea how happy that makes me"
"I'd like to tell you how much i love you every day... if you'll let me?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ehhhh, the endings not really doing it for me I'm afraid. I wanted so badly to write a bad ending, but that wouldn't have been very comforting.
Not that Chuuya did a whole lot of comforting until the end... sorta.
Higuchi was in love with you. Not that she could say anything though. It used to be her superior, Akutagawa, she adored the man. She was obsessed. But her love was always unrequited.
Higuchi used to call you to complain. To tell you about him, and how much she loved him, that she looked up to him, but he wouldn't even spare her a glance. He was not interested in romance.
You always listened, patient with her rambling, as she stumbled over her words, tears threatening to spill and voice cracking ever so slightly, because the man she loved didn't love her back, because he didn't treat her well.
She would then listen to you calmly tell her that things were going to be alright. That she was alright. You gave her advice, gave her your opinion on the matter, explained it from an outsiders view.
Maybe he's not interested in romance? Too consumed by his job?
She accepted that. And let it go. Until a few days later and she was crying to you on the phone again.
"He's just so mean"
"He's in the port Mafia, he's not supposed to be nice"
You seemed a little irritated after god knows how many calls, and she picked up on that - but you never said anything, you were far too kind, and Higuchi was far too shy to bring it up, so she opted for avoidance. She stopped calling so often.
But it didn't feel right. She missed calling you almost every day. She still went and visited you twice a week, but it didn't feel like enough. She wasn't seeing you or talking to you as much as she wanted.
It was like this for two weeks until the realisation came to her when she picked up her phone ready to dial your number.
She had a hard day at work, and to relieve stress and relax, to make herself feel better, her immediate thoughts when to calling you. To tell you about her day. You always made her feel better, she loved that about you. You were always so calm and patient and relaxing and-
She loved that about you...
Pausing to think on it, that wasn't all she loved about you.
She loved your voice, how firm and steady it was, reassuring. You could be worried, nervous, agitated, and yet, when she came to you feeling the same, you managed to disguise those anxieties, all for her. She wished she could do the same for you.
Higuchi loved your smile too, how bright it was, pretty. You lit up an entire room when you smiled or laughed. Her eyes always drifted towards you.
She loved your personality. It was complex, and you had many faces, many different emotions expressed in many different ways, changing your entire deminor to fit the situation while remaining wholeheartedly... you. She wished she could see the face you made when in love.
That was it. Love, she loved everything about you, not just those three things. Higuchi just loved you.
She thought it was Akutagawa, and while she does admire him, that is really all there is too it, she can't see herself living a happy and fulfilled life with him, she can't see herself pursuing a real meaningful relationship with him, she couldn't see her future in Akutagawa, he was just a fleeting fantasy fueled by her own delusion.
But everything she wanted in a true healthy relationship, she could see that in you.
To Higuchi, your out of her league. But, that won't stop her from swooning. She's realised she loves you, probably has for a long time.
She won't tell you. She can't tell you. She needs to be more sure of herself first, more certain. Her feelings are clear as day, but... she just needs time. Then she'll let you know.
And as she swipes on your name and clicks the green call button, a small smile on her face, as she hears you pick up the call and greet her with your usual 'hello', she swears she hears a hint of affection in your voice. And she's certain she had a chance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honestly more of an incoherent ramble if you ask me 😅
I'm leaving this short letter for you to read when you wake up. By now you should already know I'm not there. That's because I've left. During the night. I came to a conclusion that our relationship was not working, we weren't working, we don't belong together. It hurts me to say this, but it's true. I'm sorry. For leaving like this, but I'm afraid it's the only way. I'm sorry. I really am.
Love, YN"
Of all people is was Kunikida who came to see him. Of course, Kunikida's reasons weren't born from concern, but rather, annoyance. Dazai had missed work. Only for a day but, well, we all know how kunikida is with his schedule.
So of course he went to drag Dazai off to work.
Knocking the door felt wrong though. Call it a detectives intuition, but something was up. Something had happened, and it probably wasn't good.
So he let himself in.
The atmosphere was dark, sour. All colour and life drained from the small apartment shared by two.
Dazai wasn't hard to find either. He was sat quietly in the living room, thinking to himself. He didn't even flinch when Kunikida approached.
The letter was on the floor, inviting the blonde to invade the privacy of the couple living here. He didn't think Dazai would mind.
"Where are they?"
"I don't know"
"Why did they leave?"
"I don't know"
"What happened"
Dazai was silent then. He didn't know what happened. But had been forming an idea in his head on what it could have been.
"I'm not sure..."
"But I might need a favor"
Had this been anyone else who just up and went missing, Dazai would probably be able to find them. But, he wasn't in his best heads pace.
Even back in the office he was still somewhat moping around, despite the usual facade he tried to keep up.
If anyone could find where you went, it was Ranpo...
And probably anyone who was actually thinking properly.
"They went 'home'"
"Home? Wh- ohhh"
"Back to their parents, Guarantee that's why they quit their job too"
"Wait, quit?"
"Hmm. Fukuzawa hasn't exactly put that through yet though. Keeping the decision on hold"
Of course. If you'd come in and quit out of the blue, they were going to know something was up. And they wouldn't be just letting you go without so much as a question.
Now he knew where you were though. Back with your parents.
He knew something happened when you visited together. That your mother probably gave you an idea that had plagued your mind. He just wished he'd asked about it when he had the chance. Maybe you would have spoken to him?
No time for that now though. He had to go over to see you.
Convince you to come back.
Your parents house wasn't too far away. So he was knocking on the door in no time.
Your mother looked around thr sitting room, having heard the door knock. She rolled her eyes and reluctantly stood from where she sat, opening the door with a subtle scowel on her face.
"Oh, Dazai... right? What is it?" She asked, trying to ease her face somewhat.
"Is YN here? I need to see them"
"Yeah... what did they do this time?" she huffed
"Nothing. We just need to talk"
"Hm"
"Please?"
"No"
"It's not really your choice"
"Look, if they haven't reached out to you, then ovbiously they don't want to talk. So get off my doorstep... and don't bother knocking again"
This was not the woman he met that day.
Dazai stepped back, not really wanting to cause a scene. He didn't want to deal with your mother, he wanted to deal with you.
So he made his way around the back of the house, finding his own way to see you.
"Who was that?" You asked your mother, walking out of the kitchen to where she just sat back down.
"No one important"
"Kinda sounded like Dazai...?"
"If you knew that then why did you bother asking?!" She snapped.
You discreetly rolled your eyes and walked out. Heading up to your room, you noticed your door slightly creaked open.
You knew who it was. And you'd be lying if you said you weren't exited. But you were nervous, afraid of the consequences of just leaving the way you did.
Swallowing the nervous bile rising in your throat you opened the door fully, stepping inside your room to face the man you loved so dearly.
You don't even question how he got in.
"YN"
You didn't say anything, just stood beside the door, keeping your distance.
"YN"
He called you again. You should go to him. Talk to him, sit beside him. His face doesn't let you in on how he's feeling, but...
You needed to ask him. You hated this feeling of uncertainty.
"I'm sorry" you said. Shutting the door behind you, and leaning nervously against the wall beside it.
"I had to... y'know..."
"Why?" He couldn't fathom why you had to leave.
"Didn't you read my note? I told you, it wasn't right! The relationship, it just wasn't working"
"Then we make it work!" He didn't raise his voice, he didn't want to be discovered by your mother downstairs, but the expression he let slip was shouting, desperate. Only to be hidden behind an unsettling calm once again.
He released a breath "we talk about what's wrong, why you don't think it's working, and we make it work... unless..." He didn't even want to think about that option, but had to accept it was a possibility, so with a quiet voice, he asked
"Unless you really don't love me"
Your breath caught in your throat. He thought that? Really?
"It's not that dazai. I love you, more than anything. I want nothing more than to be by your side for an Eternity, but I know that it can't happen. I know I'm not good enough, I know I don't do enough, I know I'm useless, I know I'm difficult, and I know you don't love me the way I love you. I can't do that to you or myself" you curled in on yourself, sitting on the floor as you let your feelings spill to him, as you told him your truth.
"I can't selfishly keep you tied to someone like me"
Dazai stared at you for a while, contemplating what you had said.
It was as though you were reading his thoughts. You told him exactly what he'd been thinking. But... those were your thoughts?
"Whoever told you that?" He whispered, sad smile coming to his face and he moved to kneel down infront of you.
"Who said you weren't good enough? When have you ever beeb lazy? Or useless? Your everything to me, and more, your perfect, for me, to me..."
He held your hands up in his own
"How is it selfish to love a man who loves you tenfold"
"I'm... you what?"
"Surely you weren't so silly as to think I didn't love you? I asked you to live with me, I asked you to date me for a reason"
"And thinking back... you must have said yes for a reason?" He asked
You couldn't answer, words caught in your throat, tears threatening to spill. So instead, all you did was launch forward, wrapping your arms around his neck to hide and cry into his shoulder.
You should have spoken to him sooner. Maybe this would have been avoided.
Dazai gently stroked your hair, and held an arm around your back. He wasn't about to interuppt you. But... he'd probably have too soon.
"How about you gather your things and we go back home?"
Pulling back go wipe your eyes you nodded, smile small but present.
He helped you put the few small things you took with you in a bag. He climbed out of your window (telling you how he also got in) and took your bag with him.
You headed downstairs to leave through the front door.
"Where you going?" Your mother asked, standing in the living room doorframe.
"Out"
She raised an eyebrow
"Whatever" she childishly huffed and walked off. Leaving you to your own devices.
So you left.
*extra*
Kunikida sat impatiently in the car, tapping on the steering wheel waiting for you and Dazai. He came along because he was a concerned for your mental heath and wellbeing (and maybe Dazai's too) but now he wished he hadn't, as he waited for you two to get in the car, instead of standing outside hugging and sharing a few pecks and laughs like you spent a whole year a part.
It's been a day! Nearly 2!
When you did eventually get in the car, he was already speeding off, desperate to get back to work.
But not before telling you
"You two really need to work on your communication"
I haven't proofread any of this. I'll do it at a later date.
You figured your mom wouldn't like this guy. She was... an overly judgmental woman.
And Dazai? Well, he didn't hide much. Aside from some really dark stuff. He didn't tone down his personality for anyone. So when he asked to meet your family, you sort of panicked. You didn't want him to meet them. You wanted to keep him and your family as far apart as you could until it was absolutely necessary. But Dazai assured you it would be fine. You hadn't really told him what it was like, so you didn't blame him.
Unbeknownst to you, he already knew. Or at least, had a general idea. You didn't need to say anything to him for him to understand where a lot of your troubles stemmed from. Why you didn't want him to meet them.
But in his mind? Better to get it out of the way now instead of a few years down the line.
So the day came. Your mother was lovely. A darling woman, offering Tea and Buiscuits, showing a keen interest. She didn't breath a word to you, unless it was to extend a kind courtesy. To put on a kind show.
You sat the entire time with bated breath, an anxiety ever lingering until you looked to the man sat beside you.
Dazai.
He'd toned his usual attitude down to meet your family.
There was no mentions of suicide. No over the top expressions or flirting, he seemed like... the picture perfect boyfriend.
You felt it was okay to excuse yourself to the bathroom with how strangely well this was going.
"So, YN"
You sighed, of course, things were going a little too perfectly. She cornered you in the hallway just outside the front room, just out of earshot from everyone else.
"How much did he cost?"
"What?" If you didn't know her so well, what she insinuated would have been more of a surprise. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
"You can't be serious? It's ovbious he's not into you, you must have given him something?" she quizzed you again.
"Uh... no mom, he really is my boyfriend"
"Riiight. Right... a little out of your league isn't he?"
You rolled your eyes. And tried to walk past. She didn't stop you. Not really, just...
"I hope you treat him well, that you stopped being so lazy, Hope your not neglecting him as much as you neglect the rest of us"
You continued on your way after what she said. It was hardly bad, in your eyes. Out of everything else she could have said to you, this was the lesser evil.
But... it plagued you a little for the rest of your visit.
He was... out of your league. You knew she was right. He WAS out of your league. Was he in it for something else?
Home... or rather, your shared home with Dazai felt cold and unwelcoming as you stepped through your own front door. You felt sick to your stomach. You could have sworn you felt homesick.
You wanted to go back. This didn't feel right anymore. You didn't feel like you belonged at this other persons apartment. You shared a bed with Dazai, but got no sleep. Merely found yourself lying awake all night. Sometimes staring out the window, sometimes staring at the ceiling. And occasionally, your gaze would linger on your loves face.
You knew it was a bad idea to take Dazai to meet your mom. You knew she would plant an idea in your head that made you doubt yourself.
She did it with your last partner, told you that you weren't treating them right - as if she knew a thing, but... you broke up with them over it. She also did it when you applied for a new job, you had an interview coming up, and she told you they'd never hire someone as lazy, inexperienced and unmotivated as you, so you missed the interview.
She never likes your artwork, however good it was, she made fun of your fashion sense, never liked your hobbies, called you unoriginal and boring.
Yet she relied on you for everything when you lived there. You did everything she ever wanted, but it was never enough. She only saw the bad in you.
And you in turn only saw the bad in the world.
When you met dazai that changed. He was weird, and has his flaws, but he was persistent, kind, and as honest as he could be with you. He had his moments, where he'd dissappear, only to reappear a few hours later floating down some river you or someone else had to dive in to save him from. Which he always complained about, in such a gentle and playful way. It wasn't perfect, but you thought it was... did he not think the same?
The thought brought tears to your eyes. Silent sobs escaping your sealed lips as you sat up and made a plan.
When dazai awoke the next morning it was with a start. A bad dream had plagued him during the later part of his sleep, and he couldn't place why. Until of course, he noticed you weren't beside him. Call him dependant, weak, or whatever, but since he begun sharing a home and a bed with you, everything felt just that little bit better. His unconscious mind didn't plague him like it used too, because now he got to hold you.
Now, Dazai is not a stupid man, even in his sleep hazed mind, he noticed something was off.
Most ovbious being that he couldn't see you anywhere. So he stood, to have a look around, a small investigation.
Not that he had to look far, you left a note on the kitchen counter. A note that left a sense of gloom. The colour drained from his home as he read. Words he couldn't register. All he knew is that it meant you had left him. Took your things and ran in the night.
He couldn't understand why though? He thought you had a perfect relationship. Did you not think the same?
He wasn't in the right mind to think properly. He needed time to register. Time to understand, and time to work out why.
But he'd make sure it didn't take too long. He couldn't let you go like that. Not without understanding at the very least.
MAYBE HEADCANONS OF BSD MEN OF YOUR CHOICE WITH A READER WHO HAS A DRASTICALLY LARGE HEIGHT DIFF? IM LIKE 4'8 SO YEAH :D
I am sorry this took so long lol. I've been ill since before my last post and have gotten myself a little throat paralysis demon.
Bsd characters x SHORT reader
I chose the characters that are tall? Or at least that I think are tall.
(Dazai + Sigma + Nikolai)
Dazai
• Dazai likes how tall- short you are. It cute.
• HOWEVER. He does have his complaints.
• It's not that sometimes you need him to reach things from higher off the shelf when at home or shopping. He's more than happy to do that.
• It's not that he has to bend slightly to kiss you
• It's the fact that he's forever loosing you in crowds.
You and Dazai were on a date when you went missing. Holding hands until suddenly he looked down and you weren't there. Now, he wasn't worried anyone had taken you... well, maybe a bit, but he was sure you could handle yourself. He just wasn't sure he couldn't handle it.
"You really ought to stop jumping to the worst conclusions" he jumped when he heard your voice, turning to see you standing right beside him once again
" just because you loose sight of me doesn't mean I've been kidnapped"
"Can never be too careful" he replied, reaching to hold your hand again so you could carry on.
Sigma
• So, your short. Okay. That's fine.
• Honestly, he doesn't get why it's an issue.
• He thinks it's cute. Also makes him feel useful when you can't reach things from higher shelves.
• He has the casino, and that's his life basically, but now he's also got you, and he'd like to keep it that way.
• Hence why he insists on reaching everything for you.
• It's not an issue, really! He likes seeing you safe, and not climbing precariously.
Sigma loves you, he really does, but sometimes your incredibly frustrating. He doesn't mind letting you wonder around the casino on your own, but what he does mind is when you get hurt walking around the casino alone... hes writing his lecture about climbing while he waits for you to come back. He's probably not the best person to be giving lectures, but there is literally no one else to do it.
You should he expecting a pretty little envelope on his desk addressed for you to read.
Nikolai
• Your his arm rest.
• Sorry but you are. There's no getting around it.
• Sometimes, when he's not even near you, you'll feel a pressure ontop of your head.
• So you look up, look around and spot nikolai with his arm in his cloak.
• He's resting on your head from across the room.
• He does it purely to annoy you.
• If it doesn't really annoy you? He'll just find another way.
• Its his form of affection.
You were discussing something with Fyodor. About what? Who knows, it's not important.
You noticed throughout your talk he kept looking above you, and of course. You could only roll your eyes, you knew exactly what he was looking at. Your boyfriend. One specific man called Nikolai.
He was using his ability to mess with you again. You'd get him.
Nikolai did this often, and usually you only ducked down and moved away, you never retaliated. So when you tugged on his arm rather roughly, he was caught just a little off guard, suddenly beside you in the room, his eyes moved between you and Fyodor.
"We're trying to have an important conversation" fyodor sighed
"I'll see you later" you said, kissing his cheek gently and continuing your prior buisness.
_________________________________________
Short and sweet. Kinda rushed bc I've been thinking on it for ages 🥲
Another version of sick reader with jouno, tecchou, and nikolai maybeeeee?
Yup :)
Sick reader ft. Jouno, Tetcchou, and Nikolai!
Jouno
• This guy can tell the MOMENT he walks in that your not well.
• Y'know how when you walk into someone's room or house when they have a cold and it feels warmer? They have the heating up high or something?
• Yeah, no, you don't have the heating up, but he can practically feel your temperature from the door.
• He can also hear your quiet sniffles as you try to breath through your stuffed nose
• He can even hear the rasp in your breath.
• Jouno doesn't need eyes to know when your will. He FEELS it.
• He feels sorry for you. Nobody likes being ill.
• But at the same time? It happens to everyone at some point. So he doesn't change much about his usual routine.
• He might offer you some food that's easier on the stomach than he previously planned. He'll make you warm drinks, fetch things for you so you don't have to get up.
• ...huh... hes kinda like your butler now. Don't abuse this newfound power, he'll know, and will then leave you to suffer alone.
• Simply - he'll do what you want, get what you need, just don't take the p*ss with it.
• Overall, he's nice when your ill. Just don't expect cuddles.
• He doesn't want to get sick too.
Tetchou
• Tetchou probably had a hard day at work.
• All he wants is to come back to you, cuddle, eat and sleep.
• He doesn't know your ill.
• When he sees you underneath 2 or 3 different blankets, he just assumes your also tired, so he joins you.
• Blinks owlishly when you start having a coughing fit
• "Uh...what?"
• You have to tell him your ill.
• When he gets it, he's all over you, smothering you in affection (doesn't believe he'll get ill), offering to cook for you.
• If you don't want him to cook, he'll take no offence and order something in instead.
• He's too busy fussing over you to think about why you would rather have takeout.
• He joins you under the blankets too.
• Beware, you may have to kick him out of the blankets. He gets too hot under there and keeps kicking them off, which makes them fall off of you.
• Don't worry, he always picks them back up, but it will keep happening until you tell him to just not lie under the blankets
• "But-"
• "It's too hot for you, and you might get sick"
• "...okay"
• He just wants to look after you and be as close as possible so you don't get lonely or sad in your sickness
• What was that saying again...?
• Through sickness and in health? Even if you aren't married he believes it still applies.
• Forgive him for not knowing exactly what he's doing. He tried.
Nikolai
• You don't know what this guy does for work.
• He's not trying to protect you, he just never thought to let you know, and you never asked.
• He comes home everyday though, so you assume it's nothing too dangerous (ha!)
• I know most would probably want Nikolai to be caring and nice when he comes home from... whatever his work is, but don't expect that.
• I sincerely believe that he does not care if your ill.
• If it was terminal, that would a different story, but its not, so it isn't.
• He carries on like it's a normal day.
• Walks in, tell you about his day- leaving out certain gory details, asks what's for dinner and how your days been.
• Your too sick to make dinner?
• Oh well, maybe he can try? No. Nope. Not gonna happen. He tried, and he failed.
• Maybe there are some packet noodles around here somewhere? Microwave rice? Cereal?????
• Don't expect anything lavish. He never needed to cook anything fancy or proper for himself, so he doesn't know how to do anything aside from the basics, and even that's not great.
• "What take out do you want?"
• He likes whatever you like so just pick whatever you want. Ask for medicine too, he won't bother to get any if you don't ask.
• He hugs you a lot. But that's normal.
• When it comes to late at night though, when you've long been asleep and he's wide awake, holding you delicately in his arms, he'll frown.
• Your face is flushed and you wince in slight pain every so often. You snuggle as close to him as possible, and he holds you as though your made of glass
• Your ill. He doesn't like it when you aren't your normal self.
• He's a little sad, but reminds himself that this happens to everyone at some point, it just so happens that right now, its your turn.
• He's just glad it's nothing worse
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Still don't know if I'm spelling any of these names right, it's too late for me to check.
Random 1:26 am thought: Sigma, dazai, and fyodor coming home after an exhausting day of work, and they see their s/o cuddled up on the couch, sick as a dog. I'm in the hospital for flu rn lolllllllllllll
:( I hope you get better soon.
Thank you for the request. The idea is adorable.
Sick at home.
Sigma, Fyodor, Dazai.
Sigma.
• He doesn't exactly... come home perse. Just... leaves his office and goes to his part of the casino reserved for him to live in.
• I mean, he lives and breaths sky casino.
• There's not much to look forward too when it comes to retiring for the day.
• Or there wasn't, until you wondered into the Casino one day and won his heart. Now he had you to look forward to every day!
• He walked in, calling out to you as he usually did, but didn't get the response he expected.
• What he heard was half of his name called out weakly followed by a long string of coughs.
• He looked around in the darkness for you, before spotting a bundle of blankets in the middle of the bed.
• He quietly tip toes over, sitting at the edge of the bed.
• Feeling a slight dip in the mattress, you pop your head out of the covers, face red and hair messy.
• And suddenly he's panicking... quietly.
• "Y-your sick?! Why didn't you let me know?" He asked as gently as he possibly could.
• "You... had work... *cough*"
• "I could have taken time to come and help you, to get you feeling better"
• You merely shook your head at him. Telling him not to worry
• "B-but you've been alone all day..." He felt REALLY bad that he wasn't there with you.
• "Don't worry, I had *random staff member* help me get a few things so I can get better"
• That was a little more assuring. Still...
• "I'm not going to be working tomorrow"
• And he didn't. The next day, he didn't bother with work. Which was a little hard, but work could wait, he had other things to prioritize right now.
Fyodor
• He's another one who doesn't exactly come home from work.
• He lives where he works and works where he lives I thinks. He didn't even have a bedroom until you got there, and he had a bed brought and put in the other room for your comfort.
• He hadn't seen you in a while. Which was unusual. You normally approached him regularly throughout the day
• He wasn't worried. Not really, a little too focused for that. But when it got to about 6:30 pm and he hadn't seen you at all?
• Well, he's a little concerned and wants to know what's going on.
• So, reluctantly he pulls away from his scheming.
• This place isn't big, so if he can't find you immediately, chances are your in bed.
• So that's where he goes.
• And thats where he finds you. Breathing slow, but raspy breaths. Curled up in multiple blankets, despite your flushed face suggesting a temperature.
• He doesn't want to get ill, but he knows you haven't been out of the room, meaning you haven't been looking after yourself in your sickness.
• So he approaches to gently shake you awake.
• He's oddly gentle and affectionate. To the point you think your hallucinating and reach up to touch his face to ensure he's really there.
• He is, and he leans into your touch.
• "I'll have someone go and fetch some medicine and anything else you want, just give me a list"
• He's acting so out of character that you sit up suddenly, which hurts your head, causing you to wince.
• A brief look of annoyance crosses his face as he watches you act so carelessly, but it isn't there for long.
• "Um... if it's okay *couch* I'd like..."
• He makes sure that everything on that list is fetched.
• Even if he has to suck it up and go get the stuff himself because everyone else is so damn incompetent. So long as you get what you need it's okay.
• He'll also take a break for a while, spend time with you.
• Just don't mention how sweet his being or he's gonna ditch you and go back go what he was doing before.
Dazai
• Somehow, this guy knew you were going to be sick before he left for work, and had gotten you some water, a hot water bottle, extra blankets ready, and flu medication...
• ...He was up early...
• So you wake up feeling awful with everything you need already there, which makes you feel a little better... emotionally, being sick still sucks, but at least you aren't unhappy.
• When he gets home, he's extra quiet.
• He brought your favorite takeaway with him and a plushie. He borrowed kunikidas credit card
• (Pay back for making him go to work when his love is at home sick)
• He asks you if there's anything you want.
• He knows being ill sucks, he hates it just as much at the next person, plus he loves you so he's trying to be as accommodating as possible.
• He's pretty good at it.
• Your lucky
• He cuddles with you all night, and turns off his ringtone so kunikida can't disturb either of you in the morning.
• He's also kinda hoping you'll get him sick too.
• Unless you tell him to back off he's going to smother you with affection, that way you can be ill together!
Can you write something about a reader who only focuses on what they did wrong. Like for example, they had a mission that they succeeded flawlessly in, and they know that. But they only focus on the small mistakes and how to perfect them. And after some time, Fyodor, who has started to fall in love with them, grows irritated at their unhealthy habit and decides to teach them a lesson, by overstimulating them. No worries if you don't want to write something like this
It has been WAYYY too long. I am so sorry for not getting to this sooner. But hey! Its done now. Been a busy month and my hands are killing me lol.
Anyway, here it is. Overstimulation with fyodor. Maybe out of character.
How much more?
Fyodor x Reader 18+ 💋
This was... oh THIS was irritating. Fyodor didn't send you out often, in his opinion you were too good for the lowly, mediocre jobs, so he'd wait for a better and more Important mission to send you on- he trusted you'd get the job done.
Not that he'd ever told you that.
So of course, you assume your kept behind so often because your not good enough to go on missions - without even realising that the ones you DO get assigned are the more important ones.
But how were you to know that they were important to him? You'd never seen a 'normal' job.
No normal person would ever be caught complaining to Fyodor in such a way. The only person who spoke to him so familiarly was you.
And it was ovbious he had some sort of feeling towards you, to everyone but yourself. Your colleagues weren't sure if they should worry for you or be glad you'd be somewhat protected.
Aha! But, none of that is the point, not really. The focus of this is what your doing right now - complaining again to Fyodor. Telling him all about your last mission. An astounding success it was! But... well, that one guard? He managed to spot you and alert a few other guys of your infiltration, all because you were a little too loud. I mean, you did take them down, but you have a rather nasty scratch on your arm. Only a scratch, but it hurt, and hindered the rest of your mission. Maybe if not for that first mistake. It would have gone a little more smoothly.
Fyodor really didn't care. You did the job, and you made sure it was a success, all the little details were inconsequential.
But he listened to you. Patting your head as your frowned deeply when you sat beside him.
He wanted to fix the problem. Somehow. Your constant complaining DID get annoying at times. Besides, you were seriously underselling yourself on a regular basis.
Then he had an idea.
In hindsight, a stupid idea which didn't make much sense, and wouldn't do anything to fix things in the long run, but it'd be a temporary fix.
...
That and he just really wanted to eat you out.
This little thought of his, an impulse he'd never have acted on if he wasn't already a little ticked is what landed you on your back, sprawled over a sofa, fyodor gently massaging your genitalia, ghosting gently over all your most sensitive parts with his cold hands.
Occasionally he'd hit that one spot, making you flinch with a cold shiver up your spine and your hips twitch.
You sighed quietly, he was slow, and it was relaxing, blissful, and then you felt something warm fan over you.
Opening your eyes you spied his mouth closing in on you, ready to take in your essence.
"W-wait!" You yelped
Fyodor stopped and looked up, expectantly, he wanted an explanation
"Its not... I'm... what if it doesn't... it won't taste... Good?" You weren't sure hoe exactly it should he said. You were sure whatever he wanted to do would feel heavenly, and you desperately wanted him to continue, but doubts persisted.
He sighed.
"Any more complaining and I'm not letting you come"
'What?' You thought to yourself. He was harsh, and you were sure he would stick to his word should you complain again, but, his hand squeezed yor thight gently. A subtle message 'its okay'
And he was soon back between your legs, tongue working wonders, one hand over your stomach, arm keeping you still, the other toying where his mouth was absent.
He moved around a lot, switching his attention to various parts of your body, bringing you closer and closer to an edge you would soon reach.
You felt your muscles tighten, his hair run between your fingers, and you were sure you must have called his name at some point as your mouth was open and throat a little dry.
You needed some water.
But something was stopping you after your climax. A sensation that slightly ached, made you wince and look down. Fyodor was still going. He has to know you've already come right? Surely...?
Of course he knew.
But you hadn't much time to entertain his intentions as your next orgasm was ready to crash down upon you like a tidle wave, more intense than the previous.
He shifted, leaning up over you.
"Think you can come again..."
You wanted to shake your head no...
But... the I
Thoughts of what he could do to you... this was a change you didn't get everyday.
All you could do was weakly nod. Even if all your insides all felt tight, even if it ached slightly, even if you grew tired... you wanted to take everything he would give to you.
Just like another mission. How much could you take?
MAYBEEEEE another version of them with an s/o who has adhd including fyodor sigma nikolai and MAYBEEE dazai? Lots of love ❤️
Thank you for another request ♡
2nd part to this one - https://www.tumblr.com/imahinatjon/738986103250485248/ok-hi-im-back-what-about-jouno-and-tecchou-with?source=share
I feel like since I've already done 2, I'll do some more. Even if it doesn't represent a reader with adhd perfectly, I like how they've been turning out.
That being said, Dazai isn't in this one, he'll be in a third one.
Hope its good. It took longer than expected :3
Fyodor/Nikolai/Sigma
Fyodor
• If he was a bit more considerate. If he was a BIT nicer. He'd probably be the best person for you to be around in like... the whole world.
• But he isn't, so he's not.
• Doesn't mean he doesn't love you and doesn't mean your going to be made to feel uncomfortable.
• Or... you will at first, until you realise that how he's acting is just typical Fyodor behaviour.
• I personally believe fyodor could and would talk a LOT. If there's a topic he's interested in, or thinks your interested in he'll talk about it until there is nothing else he can say. Doesn't care if you stop listening halfway through.
• He's having his monologue, thank you.
• Don't worry though, if your prone to doing that sort of thing too, he will listen to you talk also. It's only fair.
• He'll listen until you say something wrong. Like, get a fact wrong or if something you say doesn't quite make sense.
• He'll correct you. He means no harm (no real harm anyway), he just finds your embarrassment kinda cute, but he also thinks you should be informed, so you don't get embarrassed infront of other people.
• He doesn't like constant fidgeting. It IS annoying to him. But it's you, and given that he enjoys your company enough, he'll tolerate it. Won't even mention it.
• He likes to play cello for you, and it's so beautiful and enchanting sometimes that you'll sit infront of him watching and listening for hours.
• Even if you don't like that kind of music typically, there's just something about him playing for you that commands your attention.
• He won't keep you too long though.
• All in all? It's a good relationship. He MIGHT be controlling, and MAY be inconsiderate (at times) but he actually cares.
Nikolai
• You have an abundance of energy? So does he!
• Your easily distracted? So is he!
• He's not you, but, I feel like you match eachothers energy.
• Nikolai doesn't like it when you zone out. You aren't responding to him, which makes talking a little weird, but he talks anyway, about anything and everything. May even slip a few major secrets in here and there. He's not worried though, he knows you aren't listening.
• Nikolai likes to take you out, go to different places.
• Like an amusement Park.
• There's lots to do, plenty to see, assuming you don't have a crippling fear of rollercoasters.
• Neither of you are going to get bored.
• There are no breaks. Aside from one to go and get food - you'll have to insist on that though.
• He also takes you up to the Sky Casino.
• You two cause a lot of trouble for sigma.
• See, the guy doesn't recognise you, nikolai didn't exactly tell the others about your relationship status.
• So, you can get in the casino, with a little bit of money. Meaning, you can cause havoc.
• You have done it a few times. Riled up a few of the customers, caused a scene. Using the words nikolai has been feeding to you.
• You might end up on a ban list.
• But it's all in good fun!
Sigma
• So, Sigma is like... he's going to be there for you, always. Its one of his life goals.
• Priority = casino + you
• You spend most your time in the casino because of your relation to him, the manager.
• Also means he can keep a better eye on you.
• He knows you so well. He's not the best at the whole relationship thing, and he has a casino to manage. But he tries his hardest, and likes to be well informed.
• Because of him, you never get into any trouble.
• Like, you might say something a little uncouth or rude, but there's always someone there to stop others from lashing out at you.
• There's also always someone around for when you trip over something you did not see, or bump into someone you didn't realise.
• It's not always Sigma, but he tries to be there when he can be. He is a busy man afterall.
• But, you do spend a fair amount of time together.
• If you like crafts, and have many different projects on the go all at the same time. He's always happy to listen to what you have to say about it.
• He'll enthusiastically praise whatever it is you've done during these small projects.
• He even funds it sometimes. If it'll keep you happy and out of danger (some customers can be rather unkind), he'll get you all that's necessary, even if you don't finish it.
• You two also have 'calm time'
• That's what he calls it anyway.
• It's where you two sit down or lie down together, cuddling, and he listens to you talk about your day.
• Even if you go off track a bit, he likes listening to what you have to say, even better if you have no filter, because you hold nothing back and it's just so interesting!
• Plus your voice is nice.
• If you ask, he WILL tell you about his day, but it may take some coaxing. He doesn't want to bore you.
germansingergirl
dailybridgerton
origamiaround
romaincrisis
dededos
janainaart
snowghoul
yousharknotpass