Im Alf Now

Bi 26 he/they/she

[spreadassholesdotorg]

[liquidcatt]

STOP THIS IS SO FUNNY

[funstyle]

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

[librarycard]

the ship of theseus wikipedia article in 2003. 20 years later, after 1792 total edits, 0% of its original phrasing remains. (x)

[ospreyonthemoon]

And yet it's still the same article, the article designated to be about theseus' ship. Debate solved i guess

[creepymutelilbugger]

easy as fuck . were they stupid?

[mainblag]

WHY DO YOU PEOPLE TORMENT ME ? !

[throathole]

Oh thanks but what the fuck does any of that mean

[throathole]

You have to be fucking kidding me. These are all Dr Seuss words. You’re communicating with me from the Dr Seuss dimension.

[cognitohazardous]

every ad: hey, im a candid, friendly, conventionally attractive young adult. money is hard right now! have you heard of gambling?

[dogpuppy]

[eroscestlavie]

whenever I go to the restroom and can’t piss immediately I get so mad because all I can think about is that weird sexist John Updike passage where he’s like “the pee got lost inside her mysterious Woman Body”

[eroscestlavie]

Me drunk as fuck & easily physically distracted knowing logically I have to piss sitting on a bar toilet mad as hell like IF I DON’T PISS RIGHT NOW JOHN UPDIKE WILL HAVE BEEN RIGHT

[emcapi]

okay this is now pissing me off (pun intended) because like.

YOUR URETHRA IS DOING A WHOLE ENTIRE ZIGZAG UP IN THERE WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING MAZE-LIKE

[vamprisms]

being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider

[dogpuppy]

[kaijuno]

[tsunderebird]

[wizardlyghost]

[infravioletsea]

[explore-animals-and-wildlife]

[angrrrl]

[mothmaam05]

[explore-animals-and-wildlife]

[angrrrl]

[mothmaam05]

[dogpuppy]

[krisonthefrontporchwithabeer]

I Saw The TV Show

[elbiotipo]

👀

[elbiotipo]

👀👀👀