we're not kids anymore.
One Nice Bug Per Day
I'd rather be in outer space šø
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
KIROKAZE
ā
tannertan36
tumblr dot com
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Jules of Nature
oozey mess
JVL
blake kathryn
noise dept.
Xuebing Du
Love Begins
NASA
#extradirty
Stranger Things
seen from United States
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@imasluwife
Date #3 was 4 hrs, 6 climaxes and he still could've kept going. The last one I made him cum just by contracting my pussy muscles. š I wanted to give him a time he'd never forget. Here we are 8 months later, I'm moving in and we are playing with Wartenberg wheels while being tied down. I'm such a lucky girl!
Life is good
Go ahead, give life a try. Step outside your comfort zone. It may be scary. But it is *SO* very worth it!!
Just in case my masochistic subby friends out there in Tumblrtown have forgotten just who in the fuck these vanilla world types are dealing with ā¦ We are endurance athletes šŖšŖšŖšš
text and layout by me.Ā featuring @tooprettytolive,Ā @stoneyslavegirl, and @ropebaby
New Beginnings
So I've been seeing a guy for several months now. It's been going rather well. He also is younger, about the age of my protective soldier. He's respectful, fun, kind and caring. What I find odd is that during our play, I tend to start getting aggressive and dominate. Though I enjoy being taken and submissive, I've found myself being the aggressor at times. He finds it erotic, kinky and sexy. I feel confident when I do it. I've made him look at me, not allowing him to close his eyes in pleasure, so that he knows and sees who's giving him that pleasure.
I'm thinking I may actually be a switch. Whatever it is or isn't doesn't really matter I guess. We have fun. He's always all about my pleasure, so I recently spent a few hours making him cum 6 times. A record for him!!
My heart is finally mending and I'm learning to trust again. And I'm so very sexually satisfied. I'll never forget my Sir but he obviously wasn't the man he portrayed himself to be. Guess age doesn't really matter after all.
āI know youāre being a brat just because you want to be chokedā
Donāt do drugs, ladies and gents. šššššš
āWhats your safe word?ā
That part had me weakĀ ššššššĀ
āYou think Iām in pilates?āš
āwatch ya fingers bootyhole man!!ā Lmfaooaoaoaoooo
Lol i need to be his friend
āEvery strong man got a sensitive sideā
Lmaooooooooooooooooo
āOoo thatās cuteā
Bruh I love this dude! Why is he getting arrested and is there a link for us to send money to bail him out?
my safe word is Pineapple Juice šš
I've all ready started the year with this process. No grudges, no more wasted time, no free rent in my head. Happiness and love is waiting around the corner. Perhaps a few spankings too.
Rebound
I have met a new friend that's as broken as I am. It's one of the few things we have in common. He's a good bit younger and in the military, but neither of us are able to give ourselves emotionally to anyone. He has his own demons to deal with, while Sir left me broken in a million different pieces.Ā It's difficult for a sub to gather strength after giving away all of themselves in the way that we do. It's been a dark, slow recovery.
However, we have found some comfort together these last couple of months. For the times when we are together, we enjoy the feeling of someone caring, snuggling, laughing, of not always feeling & being alone.Ā There are times this little bit of companionship has been nice. Otherwise, I have just reverted to being by myself, trying to put my pieces back together. Sir has no real idea what he did to me when he left like he did. Not once but twice now.Ā My new friend was happy to hear that it was finally over though. He said that I could find a man that truly loves and respects me now. ThatĀ I am worthy of love and a real man who can appreciate me. I am finding real value in our new friendship. I may never again venture into the Dom/sub realm. Until I am healed and can give my heart to someone again though, I have my young, handsome soldier guarding my broken pieces.
I was browsing back through some old posts looking for a meme I used, when I saw this one post that Sir had made. At that moment a song that reminds me of him and hurts the most came on, I Prevail - Alone.
I had a bit of a cry over this. It hit me in the feels.
Still around..update
After things ended with Sir and I it was a very dark time. A couple months later we started seeing each other occasionally. He's my Sir. But now even that has ended. I believe for good. To me he was Sir, dominant, caring, loving, fun. This was a new adventure for us both that we sort of happened into. However he was far from being dominating or knowing what he wanted. He was a scared man afraid to make a choice, afraid to take a chance, afraid of happiness, afraid of love.
I don't know if I could trust another like I trusted him. But I have found that I enjoyed certain aspects of the Dom/sub relationship. I enjoyed some of the roughness. I enjoyed being forced out of my comfort zone. I enjoyed the closeness it brought by trusting completely.
Am I looking for a new Dom? No. Not intentionally. I need to be the strong one for a few. It's hard to come back from that type of relationship dynamic. I doubt he even understood the mind set it put me in. There's a lot of vulnerability & trust, then to be turned loose and left alone is extremely difficult. I'm sure some of you do get it though. It's taken awhile to recover. I'm not there yet. Had there been a dom to step in and take over to get my mindset in the right place, that probably would have made things easier. Sort of like a handler. But not what I wanted.
I've had some inquires, I'm still around. Thanks for caring and reading my perverted friends!
Please donāt worry about me. Iām just a little tired from being strong all the timeā¦. Between dealing with all my own problems, pretending everythingās fine and helping other people with their problems ā I sometimes feel like I have no energy left. Sometimes I imagine what it would feel like to be taken care ofā¦ for someone to wrap me up in a blanket, hold me while I cry and tell me that they love me and that everything will be alright. But for some reason, whenever anyone asks me if Iām okay ā I always say Iām fine!? I think deep down Iām afraidā¦. Afraid that if I reach out for help, I might be let downā¦ or afraid that if open up, all the pain Iāve been holding inside will come flooding out and I wonāt be able to stop it. I think thatās possibly the biggest paradox of having strengthā¦ that sometimes you spend so much of your energy being strong for yourself and others that it ultimately weakens you to the point where you feel you have nothing left to giveā¦ Thatās how Iām feeling right now ā but give me time and I know Iāll be okay. Iāll push through like I always doā¦ because Iām strongā¦. and I donāt know how to be any other way.
Ranata Suzuki (via theprocast)
Dead on
Recovery
Itās been almost 2 weeks since my love left. He was such a great Sir to me and boyfriend. We really had a great connection. Iām slowly recovering though. I still tell him good morning and good night though he canāt hear me. Iām just sad now and can remember fondly all the times we shared. Looking at his pictures I know what we were discussing when he sent most all of them. It will be a long time before I can move on from this. How do I trust again?? Love again??
Iāve wanted to pick up the phone so many times. To call and hear his voice again, to message just to say Iām thinking of him. But I wonāt as I know this was his choice.
I hope he knows I really did/ do still love him. That wonāt change. My feelings were real. I hope he can look back on our time together and remember fondly and lovingly as I do.
thanks to everyone who has messaged and checked on me!! You guys are super cool!
God I remember this night....I think he turned off his Tumblr only a few things are on their now. This was one of the few.
Heartbroken
Sir left me today - my baby, my love and I donāt understand. Things were fine even a few hours before he called to tell me. Iām numb. The love of my life and he is gone.
EDIT: I received so many messages to help me thru this from Doms, subs and just normal perverts lol Thank you all for your thoughtfulness and wanting t help me. I'll be fine. Eventually. Life goes on even without a heart.
