deancas

she/her || 22 || IG: imdeansbee

[imdeansbee]

no thoughts head empty just deancas in season 16 being all cozy, safe and in love

[imdeansbee]

stop distracting him

As always, click for better quality.

[imdeansbee]

i might have just changed my name to imdeansbee so that its the same as my IG

[imdeansbee]

obsessed with this jensen look so i did this instead of writing my thesis.

anyway my headcanon is that after season 16 when both dean and cas are healed from the emotional rollercoaster of losing cas/saving him from the empty and dean starts healing from the past like, 35 years of his life, he lets his hair grow out to represent the change, like a "screw you im not a soldier" to john and co.

[imdeansbee]

based on the prompts "i'm trying to propose to you" and "please stay" by @starrynightdeancas

here me out, guys.

so i had this amazing idea, right? and i was like YES lets DO THIS.

EXCEPT it took WAY longer than i expected and guys. i absolutely canNOT focus on one thing for this long. but i didn't want to leave it unfinished, so i tried to at least do the drawings (left out second to last where dean pulled cas on top of him:/ ) and put in the text. oh, it had so much potential...

anyway, can you guess which faces i used a reference for and which i didnt? :) i was. DONE.

i mean, im still proud of it, it's like, the biggest thing i've ever done, no matter how badly or how long it took

[fruitylittletrenchcoat]

Dean is working on things.

He’s working on the strange noise that Baby makes every time they pass 50mph. He’s working on using the notes app in his phone more often because he always forgets the paper he writes the groceries on at the bunker. He’s working on resisting the urge to spitefully get the wrong granola mix for Sam (why would anyone put quinoa in granola) at the store. He’s working on exercising instead of drinking when he feels frustrated or pent up or conflicted.

Works in progress, all of them, in the beginning stages. But it’s work he knows how to do, the kind he can do with his hands. He can touch something, grab something, move something and make it happen.

Dean is a tactile learner.

At least that’s what he thought.

When Cas reached for him, the world stopped. Dean froze right along with it.

A pile of butchered, burning rugaru behind them, Cas reached with an unfamiliar desperation for a bleeding Dean. Hands pressed into the wounds, searching for something to sop it up. His hands on Dean weren’t enough to heal anymore, and by the time Cas found bandages there was a wild look in his eye. After patching up the wounds, he went for the next best thing, Dean guessed.

Which happened to be lips, tongue, teeth, hands, back scratching up against a tree trunk, the flames behind them creating a sort of halo around the former angel’s head.

Dean went with it, of course he did, there wasn’t really the choice in his mind to turn away when Cas held onto him like he was pulling him out of hell again.

They moved frantically on each other in the back seat of the Impala, Dean gritting his teeth through the ache in his abdomen, Cas mindful of the injuries, and didn’t talk about it after.

At the motel that night, clean and warm, Cas slipped into Dean’s bed and held him.

And then nothing. No touches out of the ordinary, hardly any touches at all.

Cas didn’t want him again until two weeks later, another hunt with a special brand of life threatening and an extra shot of adrenaline in all of their systems. Sam was there this time and Cas bore holes into the side of Dean’s head until Sam ran out to grab food. Cas reached for him again and again Dean went willingly, a relief to get his hands on Cas, a relief to have Cas’s hands on him.

No time to be held afterwards. The motel door opened with the smell of fast food wafting in and Dean slipped into the bathroom before Sam could see the pathetic look in his eyes.

It happened without consistency or pattern, rushed moments of something like intimacy in the moments in between moments. Dean took what he could get and then, unbidden, the thought arrived. That Cas didn’t just want him occasionally, but wanted him.

He didn’t realize that repressing the urge to touch Cas for all these years would lead to the predicament he suddenly found himself in. In pretty much every interaction he’s had with women or men, he's felt completely comfortable and willing to initiate. He works with his hands, he’s good with them, it’s how he knows to communicate. The words are always where the struggle is.

Or it was until now. Now it’s both and Dean doesn’t know where to start.

Read more

[imdeansbee]

sneak peek from the comic im working on cause it's taking forever and i don't want this blog to be dead

[imdeansbee]

i was gonna use this in a comic but then i didnt, so here it is

[4x01]

wait don’t fucking touch me don’t look at me don’t contact me. freedom is a length of rope and in the end castiel did indeed hang himself with it.

[deancas-bumblebee-deactivated20]

Sam: So who’s the big spoon and who’s the little spoon?

Dean: *glaring at him* I am a knife.

Cas: *looking up* he’s the little spoon.

Dean: …Shut up

[imdeansbee]

also i made an IG account, come say hi!

imdeansbee

[hozier-natural]

i just wanna say that: castiel

[imdeansbee]

couldn't agree more

[imdeansbee]

standing there, you look at me, understanding everything it's so fascinating, you patch up the blood and the cuts but our blood got mixed up so I guess we belong to each other

yungblud - love song

[imdeansbee]

Sam: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Dean: i'm the knife

Cas: he's the little spoon

[edit] based on this post by @deancas-bumblebee

[imdeansbee]

reblogging with these tags from @castielific

cause well, he was right, wasn't he? dean was his ever since

[imdeansbee]

10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags

thanks @turtlesandsloths for tagging me and releasing me from the torture of writing my thesis for a few glorious minutes

I'm not gonna include pics/gifs because I cannot afford that many glorious minutes :( i did include real people though

1. Dean Winchester - Supernatural duh my man

2. Sherlock Holmes - Sherlock BBC

3. ANY reincarnation of Doctor Who yes Im one of those superwholock weirdos

4. Arthur Pendragon - Merlin BBC he is literally Dean

5. Harry Styles

6. Remus Lupin - Harry Potter man is a mess i love him

7. Nico di Angelo - Percy Jackson

8. Noora Saetre - SKAM

9. Lydia Martin - Teen Wolf

10. Effy Stonem - Skins

This is still a fairly new blog so I'm just tagging anyone I liked lately, don't get mad ^^

@ishipdestiel-lovesofmylifeistg85 @deancas-bumblebee @beeradgirlfriend @itsitsmynote

[imdeansbee]

Hi! Your art is so pretty, I loved it! Thanks so much for the follow 💜

Thank you so much!

You're very welcome, I loved your stuff as well! ❤️

[imdeansbee]

"Stop squirming, Dean."

"Stop fucking poking into me, then," Dean sighed through clenched teeth more than said.

The bed underneath them was soft. After every slight touch of Castiel's hand, Dean's body buried itself deeper and deeper into the mattress, trying to move away from the pain. Where was his fight adrenaline when he needed it?

"You survived worse," Cas reminded him after a while. Despite everything, Dean was still able to pick up on the change in his tone. He kicked himself in his mind for not thinking about what Cas was going through.

"Hey," he said, trying to compose himself. "Thanks for doing this, Cas."

"Yeah, well," Cas swallowed so loudly Dean felt it in his own throat. "I only wish I could do more."

"You're doing enough," Dean said confidently, focused on the pain in Castiel's voice, his open wound only a physical discomfort in the background until he gasped after a sharp sting from the needle Cas was stiching him up with, something he demanded Sam teach him.

"Sorry, sorry," Cas murmured, letting his hand linger on Dean's neck a little in silent comfort. Dean kept his eyes closed, not trusting his voice to assure Cas he was okay without it being blatantly obvious it fucking hurt and he hated it.

When Cas went back to stiching, it didn't get easier. After the next sting of pain, his right hand clutched Cas' bent leg on the bed at his ankle. He turned his face away from him, not wanting to worry Cas with the way he knew his face was twisted with pain. He let his fingers squeeze Cas's ankle and the bed frame, holding his breath in as much as he could for the remainder of the time.

Cas kept saying he was sorry and caressing his neck, and he couldn't find enough strenght in himself to say it way okay.

"Alright, I finished," Cas said but didn't let go of Dean, instead moving closer to him and pressing his lips into the freckled skin where his neck and shoulder met, leaving barely-there kisses everywhere he could reach. Dean didn't move, didn't open his eyes, until his breathing evened out. He then turned around, grabbing Cas' hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed his knuckles before leaning in and kissing Cas properly.

"Thank you," he said.

"I'm sorry I couldn't -"

"Thank you for being here," Dean cut him off, looking in his lap. "For... staying." He bit his lower lip. "With me. That's all that matters to me. That you're - here. With me."

"Thank you for letting me stay," Cas whispered and kissed him again. He maneuvered them until he was lying on his back and Dean was half on top of him, mindful of his injured shoulder. He wrapped his hands around Dean's waist and when Dean laid his head on his chest, Cas kissed the top of his hair.

"This is all I need, too," Cas said in answer to Dean's unspoken words.

They didn't need to say what they meant to each other - they knew. The whole universe knew.

"I love you," Dean said anyway, because they didn't have to but they finally could.