[crystalcriminal-blog1]

please read ;;

okay, so this is really embarrassing and i never thought i’d have to do this aha. so, my sister has had to have emergency surgery, an appendectomy to be specific and medical bills are, a lot. around $3,500. now my family isn’t well off with money. we come from a single income household and my mom is a waitress. i’ve been trying to boost things i have, and it’s not going super well. so, if any of you can donate anything, even like a dollar or something i would be so fucking grateful. you guys can message me for my paypal if you can donate. thank you so much.

(we’d make a gofund me but they take like 8% and 30c of every donation so)

[justasimplememebean]

Walmart psa

2017 walmart will be implementing a new anti-shoplifting method known only as “code 82” It is called code 82 because every item will be surrounded by exactly 82 raw onions and that will make things very hard and very smelly to steal.

[unlikely-cycle-bouquet-deactiva]

Haul name: ‘me: dont get greedy. ALSO ME:…“

This was all in one day, better not fucking sleep on this shit bitches. This is like half of the stuff

[liftingdudee]

You lifted a fucking piano..?

[crystalcriminal-blog1]

a small haul while i wait for my partner to come back because i hate lifting alone:

🌼M!CHA3LS ; -tree sketchbook : $8 -spiral sketchbook : $16 -prismacolor markers : 6$ (x5) -prismacolor pencils : $14 -prismacolor assorted set : $16

🌼BL!CK ; -copic marker : $7 (x4)

🌼S3PHORA ; -ABH lip palette : $48 -ABH glow kit : $40 (x2) -becca foundation : $44 -urban decay full spectrum palette : $35 -kat von d contour palette : $49 -smashbox liquid lip :$24

🌼S3ARS ; -LS purse - $55

🌼D$W ; -shoes - $50

🌼H0T T0PIC ; -arctic fox hair dye : $13 (x6)

🌼🌼TOTAL: $576 🌼🌼

>any questions on how i got anything? ask and i’ll answer the best i can !!

[lifting-nihilist-blog]

How do I steal a girls heart?

?????

[imfuckingyourlp-blog]

friend: how much do you spend shopping for clothes and makeup and crap each month?

me: it's not that much.

friend: yeah but-

me: it's...it's not that much.

[freeisthenewblack-deactivated20]

A note on Ulta

From a previous haul of mine:

“I heard from a few people here that the manager at Ulta is the only one who looks at the cameras in the back room. I saw a guy on the floor looking really official and shit. I said, “are you the manager, you look official!” He said yes so I wasn’t as worried about being seen on camera. I had my back to the camera when I concealed so hopefully my body blocked it anyway! I concealed all 4 items at once then immediately left.”

This was a couple weeks ago. Since then, I went to Ulta again and I asked a manager if the manager was there. She said “which one?” duhhhhh how stupid of me!? 

So if you see a manager on the floor, it doesn’t mean you have free reign to go concealing willy-nilly because there could be another manager in the back watching the cams!

[princess-lifty]

Tip!!

[kiitylitfter]

Unless your store is huge, I highly doubt they would have two managers on at once. That’s never happened for more than 30 minutes anywhere I’ve worked.

[imfuckingyourlp-blog]

you should also never conceal on camera bc they record, so never do that.

[swipingbandit]

Oh my god

I was in Sephora with my lifting buddy and had a Marc Jacob lipstick tucked away behind my phone. I was looking for an opportunity to quickly put it in my bag when I notice a SA staring at me. She gets up from where she was sitting and keeps giving me darting looks while pretending to play with some make up. I was freaking out in my head, thinking she knows what I’m up to so I need to put the lipstick back. I even made a slight comment to my friend saying “oh I don’t think I want this” dismissively in HOPES she’d stop looking at me. Obviously that didn’t work and she kept looking at me, even walking a few steps closer. Eventually me and my friend make our way to the Benefit stand (to my anguish), and she walks straight towards me. I felt like everything was going in slow motion, I was so scared and all I could think of were countless excuses to give her as to why I was hiding this lipstick behind my phone. She stops in front of me, leans over, and tilts her head to whisper in my ear. She looked so serious. My heart was beating SO fast, all I could imagine her saying was “I know what you’re doing, put down the product”. Then she tells me my fly was open. I kid you not, holy shit I was SO relieved. I kept thanking her for letting me know, told her that her make up looked flawless, and while she was talking to my friend, put the phone and lipstick in my bag. I swear to god my life is like a damn sitcom, friggin smh.

[swipingbandit]

Reblogged this cause I’m an awkward mess and people need to know 

[silver-bandit]

OMG

[imfuckingyourlp-blog]

if you return stolen items to a store, is there a way they would know that the item was not actually bought through the barcode or something?

i honestly have no idea, if anyone can answer, please do !

[turnonmyblogswag-blog]

[lapislifter-blog-deactivated202]

you know whats great?

crime

[pajamaben]

stealing is a crime AND drugs is a crime too BUT if you steal drugs the two crimes cancel out and it is like basically doing a good. trust me i am a lawyerman

[imfuckingyourlp-blog]

it's pemdas

[leolifter]

fuck college.

francescas, pier 1, b&bw

total: $67.08

[illstealyourcat]

Anyone ever lifted from LULULEMON🍋 ?

[lifting-nihilist-blog]

#hecknoidontwanttogotojail

[imfuckingyourlp-blog]

i don't like their workout gear, it's kind of trash, but one time i stole one of the cute lil succulents they have out for decoration

[shoplifteranonymous]

The Only Rules You Need

Don’t get caught.

Don’t get greedy.

Don’t get stupid.

Don’t get cocky.

[two-for-none]

Hey I was wondering if you have a good list of self care products to get my evil hands on? My mental health issues suck and I wanna feel good for once thanks! 💜

my golden advice to you is - face masks, face masks, face masks. the good ones will leave you glowing right afterward and you’ll be softer than a baby’s bum.

i do one almost every night because i have like, 5 that i rotate through. it’s honestly the most relaxing part of my night is just having a clean face and knowing that it’s been taken care of.

i’ll tell you a few that i just love off the top of my head.

andalou naturals (whole foods/sprouts) have some in jars - the 1000 roses as well as the pumpkin and glycolic honey one are my favorites. nice tony moly sheet masks (ulta) if yours has the one with snail serum, just use it. it’s kinda gross but trust me lol. walmart also has some really good sheet masks - my favorite is the charcoal one. easy to swipe and they’re flat.for clay masks, my #1 is the glamglow anti-aging clay mask but you can only get that at sephora and that place scares the shit out of me.some good drugstore alternatives will be the l’oreal pureclay masks, there are three different kinds and you can mix and match.

washing your face off and feeling that rejuvenated baby soft skin is unreal. it makes me feel wonderful. i lift a lot of microfiber towels (dollar store) so i know i have a clean canvas to dry my face off with.

there are a lot of awesome skincare products you can find at lush but my lush is literally a 12x14 room with no real way to avoid SAs so i have no experience with lush whatsoever. sorry. :(

[phantomlift-blog]

Thank you so much! I got some body scrubs today so now I just need stuff for my face

[two-for-none]

i was gonna expand on this but i didn’t want the ask to be like a billion years long

i highly recommend getting a good micellar cleansing water to remove makeup. drugstores. SIMPLE micellar cleansing water if you are not wearing waterproof makeup. use the garnier or l’oreal micellar cleansing water for waterproof if you are - they take them off so effortlessly! you can use them on your lips for liquid lipstick as well. a GODSEND for liquid lipsticks that cling for life.

i actually do own a clarisonic that you can find at a variety of stores - i got mine from ulta. they’re larger so refer to my post on it if you need a way to conceal it. i’ll first go in with st ive’s green tea scrub (drugstore) to pre-exfoliate and take off a little more residue. plus it has salycylic acid for clear skin, i’ve been using it for years and it’s cheap and easy to find and i don’t ever break out unless i’m under A LOT of stress.

then go in with my clarisonic and shiseido ibuki cleanser.

for the shower you want a delicious-smelling shower gel (bath and body works) because smelling good makes me just a little bit happier. b&bw also has a tahitian white sand scrub to really exfoliate your body. sugar scrubs are good as well - you can make them yourself out of sugar and coconut oil. i rotate between the two (don’t use the sugar scrub on your face though)

after that - toners. i need to experiment a little more with toners but i have no complaints about the neutrogena alcohol-free toner. it doesn’t irritate my skin and it takes off any other dirt that may linger. and you can use it fairly close to your eyes since it doesn’t burn - at least for me. cotton pads (dollar store) and bring that toner down the neck as well.

moisturizers because you want to anti-age to the gods. i rotate between a lot of moisturizers but i always go back to the neutrogena rapid wrinkle repair night moisturizers (drugstore). i usually have 1-2 backup bottles in case i run out because i’m crazy. also medicine mama’s sweet bee magic moisturizer (sprouts / whole foods) because it has bee pollen in it and it’s honestly wonderful

these are just the things that i personally use and find to work for me that i absolutely love. there are a billion other things that any other person could suggest for you but i don’t break out unless i’m under stress and my skin has improved in coloration and dark circles / wrinkles.

[lifting-nihilist-blog]

Somebody’s gotta be looking at my debit card purchases wondering why tf I only buy food #howdoyoustealapizza?