Gender confused snowflake

So I am kinda trans. I am afab but I don't feel like a woman. I also don't feel like a man but I look pretty female so I am dysphoric as fuck and it makes my life very hard and I get sad a lot. They/them and I like being called boy/boi but not man or he/him.

[renmorris]

I wish more people...cis and trans...understood that transitioning and passing is just not possible for a lot of us and never will be. I’m so tired of the trans narrative being focused on this supposedly universal experience.

I’m extremely disabled. I will probably never be able to transition in any capacity. I am dependent on my bigoted family and on a bigoted medical system to survive. HRT could hurt my body very badly and I cannot bind because of chronic chest pain. I cannot have top surgery for those same reasons.

There’s so much more to being a man, woman, non-binary than how you can present yourself. And a lot of us are trying desperately to come to terms with that. With the idea of being closeted forever or just straight up trying to navigate our own identies among other trans people more privileged than us.

[everyone can reblog but don't clown on this post, no t*rfs, no tr*sc*m]

[renmorris]

👏 HUGE HUGE HUGE AGREE 👏

It’s so fucking frustrating. And frankly I’m getting pissed off because tucking and binding are dangerous! I get so worried, especially with trans youth who could really hurt themselves 😰 being told you HAVE to conform to this presentation or you aren’t trans, pushing it as the ONLY way to feel better if you're dysphoric is not safe! It’s not helpful!

[imightbetransidk]

Just dysphoria things... I have bad posture cos yea but I actually get way more confident when I pull my shoulders back and I see the way my back and shoulders look ever since I started working out but then I get a glimpse of my chest and I'm like oh yes that's why I have bad posture.. Can't wait to have top surgery...

[imightbetransidk]

Soo no breast reduction for me, I got referred to the only gender clinic in our country which I guess is the right thing for me but there's a waiting list of about 2 years.. Right now they're making appointments for people that signed in on October of 2017.. WHICH IS WHAT YOU GET FROM HAVING ONE GENDER CLINIC IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY.

I hate this. It feels like it's never going to happen for me life sucks and I don't know how to deal with this except get very fucking mad but that doesn't fix anything and doesn't help me so fuck my life

[sgausbdbsbssbns]

Hi I’m sad and want top surgery

Reblog if you are also sad and want top surgery

[imightbetransidk]

So I got a consult for a breast reduction tomorrow and I'm terrified.. Terrified of surgery, terrified it won't happen, terrified it will happen, terrified of doctors and hospitals, terrified they won't understand me, terrified it won't be covered by insurance.. I have a lot of anxiety. It feels very real real now even tho its only a consult.. Someone tell me everything will be alright..

[imightbetransidk]

it's spelled dysphoria

Haha lol thanks, I'm still right tho

[imightbetransidk]

YOU DON'T NEED DYSPHORIA TO BE TRANS!

The whole you don't need dysphoria to be trans debate needs to stop. The trans community is suppose to be an accepting community but there are so many of you that get disgusted and horrified when someone says you don't need dysphoria to be trans. What is wrong with you?

First of all.. It doesn't affect you. None what so ever. There's no need to tell someone well you don't have dysphoria so you can't be trans or you're wrong or something even more horrible. You live your life with your shitty dysphoria and leave other people, that still have issues just not the same as you, alone. Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean you shouldn't accept it.

Second of all.. You don't need dysphoria to be trans. Just like transgender is an umbrella term and gender is a spectrum, dysphoria comes in many different shapes and colors. Most people know it as feeling like your own body doesn't belong to you and they have it so bad that they get depressed. This is bad yes no one is denying that. If someone says you don't need dysphoria to be trans no one is invalidating that you got the worst kind of dysphoria and you have it rough but fortunately it's not like that for everyone. My personal dysphoria is only with my boobs and I don't like them and I wish they weren't there. I hide them with my clothes and I have bad posture to hide them. It works because when I tell people my cup size they are always surprised. But it doesn't make me horribly depressed. I still want a breast reduction but I live my life without it. I have it sort of easy. It still bothers me but not as bad as with some other people. And like me every other trans or non binary person has a different experience with different body parts. Some people don't have a lot of dysphoria with their own body but as soon as they start expressing more as a different gender they feel gender euphoria and that's how they know they're trans or non binary. This is still a valid way of being trans.

And third of all.. I thought the trans community was suppose to be open minded. We're different. We've been through hard stuff. We have to support each other. No one is hurting anyone. No one is invalidating anyone by saying you don't need dysphoria to be trans. And if you still don't understand it after this rant then go find someone who says this and ask them why they think so instead of being an asshole about this.

Okay this was my rant, thank you bye

[questingqueer]

[Nonbinary people who want top surgery are valid]

[lgb-positivi-t]

hey if anybody is having bad dysphoria today:

you will make it. whatever your end goals are, you will achieve them. you will only get better in time. whatever negative emotions you feel right now aren’t permanent. keep your head up.

[genderfluidartist]

Genderfluid pride! 💗💜🖤💙

[elysian-nox-galaxy-blog]

I love my girlfriend I love my girlfriend I love my girlfriend Damn, I love my girlfriend

[imightbetransidk]

Life update? My gf has been about 9000 km away from me for more than 2 months now because of an internship and I'm basically an emotional mess.. I don't know exactly what's wrong with me but I get annoyed and irritated very very fast and occasionally sad and that's not even counting the dysphoria buttt I've been going to the gym and I hope to feel better about my body soon

[gldgod]

dysphoria is like

feeling claustrophobic

in your own body

and it never

fucking

stops

.

dysphoria is feeling

like you’re dying

but never

actually

dying

[imightbetransidk]

Sooo.. I didn't go swimming because I got sick and now I'm sad about it..

[imightbetransidk]

So I'm going swimming tomorrow yay but I have to wear something to cover up my chest.. Less yay.. But I won't let that stop me from going swimming with my girlfriend! Wish me luck. Also I've been shopping at the men section more and more and it makes me more confident but now I have like half a closet full of clothes I don't wanna wear anymore.. Might donate them but its such a waste of clothes, cause some of them I bought like 6 months ago...

[positrans]

support trans people who are unsure of what they want. who dont know how they want to transition or if they want to at all. who dont know if they want to come out, don’t know of they want hormones, or surgery, what name they want

[imightbetransidk]

Is it too easy to say that they just don't get it? They being all the cisgendered people out there.. They can be as nice as supportive as they want about it but they still won't get it. I had a friend over tonight and eventually I had to explain all my gender stuff again.. Its tiring. I don't wanna keep explaining to people but I feel like I have to because I wanna educate the world. I wanna make people understand, I wanna make people see that I don't choose to be this way and that sentences like "just be you" and "I hope you can eventually find the peace to just be you" are just making me sad. Because I wanna just be me and I wanna find the peace to do that. But I kind of can't because to be me certain things have to change. To be me I would like to find out where on the spectrum that might exactly be and how do I become a happier person with less disphoria and become more "me". Because I'm not sure yet. I'm questioning and it's confusing. My friend was supportive after I tried my best to explain but she didn't make me feel better. She basically told me you seem very angry about this but it shouldn't consume your entire life. Just. Be. You.

Of course I'm angry. No one understands. I have no friends that fall on the gender spectrum. I have cis gendered friends and transgendered friends who completely identify as the opposite gender as what they were assigned at birth. Nothing in between. I have almost no one to talk to about this. I try with my girlfriend and she tries her best to understand but she doesn't completely.. It's hard..

So all I have are these tumblr rants but I have no followers on here so no one is gonna respond to this or message me or anything..

So I guess I'll just stay here waiting.. Trying to figure out who I am.