Solitary Creature

🪿 High-quality nonsense. 🪿

[iminyourceiling]

I wish I could say that flattery will get you nowhere with me but unfortunately it will get you everywhere with me because I love compliments

[pinkmoonzzz]

James in the ballet studio with Bella:

[vanillye222]

[whyenn-reader]

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

[clearpills]

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

[undertheinfluencex1]

i crave connection but also silence and zero human interaction

[iminyourceiling]

Every now and again, I get mailers from a local car dealership asking to buy my car that I had serviced there last year.

They always offer a terrible price that I know they’d somehow manage to lower if I actually went through with it.

Out of sheer spite, I have made it my life’s mission to get my car to at least 300k miles.

Keep begging, conmen. You’ll have to pry my crappy, beat up, ancient Honda from my cold, dead hands.

[fic-dumpster]

[freakoutgirl]

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

[freakoutgirl]

and love..........

[9ofarc]

I love when people are weird. Do your thing diva

[patatoscope]

[iminyourceiling]

Once again I find myself yearning for Dollywood

[gruesomegf]

there are literally worse things than being in a saw trap like for instance openly expressing that you have wants and needs and are a real person

[iminyourceiling]

The thing about losing a parent is that once you get over the initial shock of it, the jokes really do write themselves

[iminyourceiling]

Happy Father’s Day to members of the Dead Dad Club only 🤍

[gothredy]

[iminyourceiling]

Any time I’m in the gym and I see a tall, muscular woman I’m like “look at that exquisite specimen. An Amazon among men. I would die for her.” Then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I’m like “🫵🏻 garden gnome.”