Mar 27, 2024
I turn 23 next month. That means it'll be 12 or 13 years that I've been no contact with my mother.
I spent the first 2 or 3 years in disbelief that she wasn't a part of my life any more.
I spent the next 4 wondering what I did wrong and how I could fix it.
The next 3 years I came to terms with it. She said she wanted to be a part of my life again just after my 18th birthday, and I said no.
My early 20s have been plagued with hatred for her. For abandoning me when I needed it most. For not being a better mother to my siblings that still live with her.
I don't want to hide behind a mask anymore. People have told me before that they thought my mom was dead, and to me she is.
I want to find peace.
