i like tumblr because occasionally i’ll be recommended a 12 year old post that depicts something so absolutely my shit that it makes me believe in art again
ublock origin is pretty funny. oh? you want to show me an ad? damn buddy that sucks. L + ratio + assets.tumblr.com/pop/src/assets/images/house-rightrail-premium-with-patio-47ce20b6.gif$image into my filters immediately
This is a modern approximation to the average Anglo-Saxon’s hlaef (loaf)
“. . . the Anglo-Saxons held their own feast of the opening of the harvest upon 1 August, the hlaef-mass, or loaf mass, from which derived its Medieval English and Scottish name of Lammas. As such it appears regularly in the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle, explicitly (in 923) as the feast of first fruits. The same name and title are echoed in another early English text, the Red Book of Derby. It was clearly by then the custom to reap the first of the ripe cereals and bake them into bread which was consecrated in church upon that day: a book of Anglo-Saxon charms advised the division of this holy bread into four pieces and the crumbling of each one in the corner of a barn in order to make it a safe repository for the grain about to arrive there. The festival was also known in medieval times as the Gule of August, a term which has vexed linguists, who have only been able to suggest that it signifies the Yule of August, a period of rejoicing similar to that of December. The difficulty evaporates if it is simply an Anglicization of the Welsh gwyl meaning feast, the Welsh name for 1 August being gwyl aust, the feast of August. Certainly the arrival of the time when the first of the harvest could be gathered would have been a natural point of celebration in an agrarian society, and the importance of the first day of August was already so well established by 673 that the Archbishop Theodore of Tarsus decreed that the annual synod of the newly established church in England should be held then. It would seem very likely therefore, that a pre-Christian festival had existed among the Anglo-Saxons upon that date . . .”
—Ronald Hutton Stations of the Sun
This is my favorite part of the recipe for cooking the “bread” that an average Anglo-Saxon (aka a poor one) would have eaten: “each side will probably take as long as it takes to say nine or ten Lord’s Prayers. This is how they measured cooking time in the medieval period.”
The Lord’s Prayer in Old English (I do actually recognize some of the words!):
‘Fæder ure þu þe eart on heofonum: si þin nama gehalgod to becume þin rice. Gewurþe ðin willa on eorðan swa swa on heofonum. Urne gedæghwamlican hlaf syle us todæg. And forgyf us ure gyltas swa swa we forgyfað urum gyltendum. And ne gelæd þu us on costnunge, ac alys us of yfele soþlice.’
I used 130 grams of all-purpose flour (not at all authentic but what I had) and added enough water to make a dough. Then kneaded it for 5 minutes and shaped it into two rounds.
“When the Anglo-Saxons were rich enough to own metal objects, they made brooches, not measuring spoons.”—The Early English Bread Project
I then went ahead and measured the time by chanting the Lord’s Prayer as mentioned above because this didn’t seem like simply a practical element to keep time, but you know, magic! Incantation! And since I planned on eating one of these to test it, and saving the other for Lammas rituals, the magic seemed like an essential ingredient.
Eight repetitions was plenty.
And I can’t help myself, a little syncretism with my Slavic Děduška blessing the bread for me.
Did I like this hlaef? No, I did not. I’m a spoiled lady of modern times, I guess. 🤷♀️
The Early English Bread Project said that traditionally the butter and cheese that would have been eaten with it was very salty which is why it was made without, but our modern butter and cheese probably didn’t make up for the lack. If I make it again to eat, and not just for ritual, I will probably add salt.
Do visit The Early English Bread Project for the types of flour thatwould have been used depending upon your degrees of poorness. And for such pithy comments as:
If you want to have an authentic stomach ache, you could add cockle, a troublesome weed that grew among the grain. Excavations in York showed that tenth-century bread had enough cockle to have given the eaters digestive discomfort.
… nimium gaudes hos manducare calentes! ‘You’re delighted to eat them when they’re hot!’ —scolding woman to King Alfred (Life of St. Neot ve
Next I made the leavened rich person version based on the recipe at the bottom of this post.
I cut the recipe in half as I knew no one else in the house would be interested in experimenting. I divided it into two loaves (hlaefs?). One to taste test and one for Lammas rituals.
Maybe I should have adjusted cooking times since I made smaller loaves. The outside was quite crusty.
This was much more to my refined tastes, however! 😜 I had it for second breakfast with butter and honey.
If anybody actually reads this and experiments, I’d love to hear your results/opinions.
This document provides a disclaimer for information contained on the website. It states that the information is intended as a general guide
An autistic man with a special interest in the Harry Potter series has made the decision to value the lives and dignity of his trans friends more than a book about a wizard who grows up to be a cop, leaving you with no excuse whatsoever to keep wearing that Hufflepuff scarf, sources have reported.
Jack Harrington, 38, grew up reading the popular children’s stories, and soon developed an intense fascination with the world of the books, including knowing all about the suspiciously depicted money-hungry goblins, and that one time it was revealed that slavery is commonplace and accepted in the wizarding world.
In spite of this, however, Harrington has recently worked to redirect his interest towards media created by someone less troublingly focused on his friends’ genitalia.
“It was hard to do,” Harrington said. “I really love collecting things, and there’s so much merchandise to collect! But once I realised that it’s possible to collect things in a way that doesn’t make it harder for my mates to go for a piss when out and about, it really was a no-brainer.”
At the time of publication, Harrington was marvelling at the sheer amount of fiction available in the world that doesn’t actively contribute to material harm, and questioning whether you specifically really need that copy of Hogwarts Legacy for your PS5.
Speaking as a childhood Harry Potter fan, the enduring persistence of its popularity including amongst adults is 100% because it is slop without substance.
It flirts with the idea of rebellion and emancipation from slavery but ultimately discredits those notions by having the rebel leader become a lead cop in the institution that was repressing him and by making emancipation seem silly.
It reflects the chauvinisms of a British aristocrat who offers an impossible narrative of an abused child escaping abuse through the purity of their Aryan magic blood. It’s a fantasy that doesn’t even pretend to offer catharsis or self-actualization, merely hundreds of pages of occasionally racist drivel about a special little boy who joins the SS after reforming them from the inside.
That’s why it has maintained such reverence - because it doesn’t actually offer a subversive story but the aesthetic of one while reflecting the conservative biases of the author. It speaks to a certain liberal perspective that is progressive only so far as the oppressed don’t hurt their feelings.
it's cool how in the 6 years since this tweet was written it's become significantly less useful not because anything has gotten better but because the majority of products on Amazon are now from fly-by-night brands called "ZZPORK" and "GLUM4PANT"
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