I'm just a Fangirl who wants to share her insanitys with the world. This will include Doctor Who (mainly Doctor Who), Harry Potter, Star Wars, Sherlock, the MCU and many more. Warning: Bi Panics ahead
Give us a full essay on why the new LotR show is looking so bad. đ
I mean, honestly? Where do I even start? This is the Vanity Fair article with the photos and descriptions everyone is discussing. By no means am I a Tolkien expert, but I hold the Legendarium very dear and have read all the material at least once, and thus I will try my best to provide sources. I also know Tolkienâs Legendarium is not something that should be treated lightly and twisted into something unrecognizable the way other franchises have done of late. Iâll do my best to be brief, but letâs start with the obvious, I guess.
The character designs:
The dwarf princess, Disa, does not even have a beard. If you recall, even Peter Jacksonâs (PJ) trilogy made it a point to note that dwarf womenâs appearances often led to them being mistaken for dwarf men. Even The Hobbit trilogy had dwarf women with prominent beards, and there are many more examples in the concept art designs for the trilogy. So, Amazon, where is her beard? She is royalty; her beard should reflect that, yet...it is absent. I also worry about how dwarf women will be portrayed because, in general, they are not seen often, if at all, in Tolkienâs legendarium. âThe Dwarves are bearded from birth, both male and female. Dwarf-women cannot be distinguished from the men by those of other races. Dwarf-women are very few, and never go to war, nor leave their deep homes save at the greatest needâ (The War of the Jewels). So this begs the question from me, why do we need a non-canon dwarf princess? And why did they take the only canon female dwarf name, DĂs (Thorin Oakenshield IIâs Sister), and add an âaâ onto the end? That is incredibly lazy, in my opinion, but Iâll discuss the non-canon characters later.
The elvish men and their new short hair. All elves are ageless and ethereal beings, especially when compared to Men. This is portrayed very well in PJâs LotR and The Hobbit trilogies. They look otherworldly, even when wearing armor. One of the whole points is the stress elves are not Men. But here, the elves look like random guys, conforming to gendered appearances, which is not how the elves are/were. If not for seeing the elf ears (which look bad compared to what we had in PJâs trilogies) and reading the captions, I would have never known they are supposed to be elves. Also, what is with Elrondâs new hair color? I donât have much more to say besides the elf design is like 1/10.
And just a general note, all the costuming looks too clean. It doesnât feel organic to the Legendarium and bears too many resemblances to Game of Thrones. One of my favorite things about PJâs LotR trilogy was that the clothing and armor looked lived-in. It had been used for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. This show is set in the Second Age, some of these characters (e.g., Galadriel) have already been around for over a thousand years, so to see everything look like this makes me feel...uncomfortable?
Characterization and motivations:
WHY IS GALADRIEL WEARING THE FĂANORIAN STAR? I understand Galadriel was not always as she was, as the Lady of Lorien, but whyyyyy is she wearing the FĂ«anorian Star on her armor? She fought against FĂ«anor in defense of her mother's kin in the Kinslaying of AlqualondĂ« (Unfinished Tales). This is the same FĂ«anor who she denied three times when he asked for a tress of her hair. Did they say hey, this looks cool, letâs slap it on Galadrielâs armor without reading into the source? Beyond the Kinslaying of AlqualondĂ« (which is only implied), there are no clear examples of Galadriel being the warrior the show appears to be making her out to be. âCommander of the Northern Armies,â is how the VF article describes her.
Elrond, oh Elrond. Iâll skip over the fact you now look like some bland boy, but their description of him as a âpolitically ambitious young leaderâ for the show? Please say sike. Because this is not the Elrond (one of the most recognized characters in the Legendarium), I know from the books and even previous adaptations. Elrond refused the Noldorian Crown after Gil-Galad died. He was heir to all three houses of the Sons of FinwĂ« by birth, adoption, and marriage to Celebrian but refused regardless. His brother, Elros, and subsequent line were kings, but Elrond remained with Gil-Galad and eventually chose the path of a healer, creating a homely house âRivendell. "He was as noble and fair as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as a wizard, as venerable as a king of dwarves, and as kind as summer" (The Hobbit). Elrond, sweetie, Iâm sorry theyâve done this to you.
Final remarks and concerns for the show:
Iâm also not a fan of some of the casting. Celebrimbor, played by Charles Edwards, is 52 years old. Galadriel is supposed to be older than him and is played by Morfydd Clark, who is 32. How is this compliant with the agelessness of the elves? And where is Celeborn?
Now, for the non-canon characters, of which just from the VF article alone, there are four. Did we learn nothing from The Hobbit with Tauriel? It is incredibly arrogant of Amazon to believe they come up with âthe story Tolkien never wrote.â Like, can we make money off of Tolkien fanfiction now? Because that is what this feels like. There are so many characters that already exist in the lore that could be adapted. We could have gotten Beren and LĂșthien (Year of the Trees to First Age, I know) as a forbidden romance, instead, we get one between two non-canon characters? And we get a knock-off Aragorn with Halbrand? Where are Elendil and Isildur? Iâm concerned that notable characters and events in the Second Age (and NĂșmenor, my beloved) will be overlooked or glanced over in favor of these new made-up characters and their stories.
âSpiritual successor Game of Thronesâ is not a comforting phrase when speaking about Tolkienâs Legendarium, but sadly, it looks a lot like Game of Thrones, right down to the bastardization of the source material. I really can put into words how much I hate what I am seeing at the moment for this show. My only solace is knowing the Tolkien fandom will be waiting to rip this to shreds if it continues down this path.
Ok. Time for a (small) rant. Because this guy? This guy did an amazing job, he is plain awsome as the Master! He perfectly captured this manic energy of this character, while still showing this vurnerability. Honestly for me, the moment where the Master reveils his identity is one the best moments of the season. It just got me. Sacha Dhawanâs performance is brilliant.
And anyone who got a problem with him because of racist views, didnât quite got what Doctor Who is actually about.Â
Sooo, sadly I canât really quote it here, since I donât have an English version at hand, but do you remember the graveyard scene in GoF, specifically the moment just after Voldermort has summoned his followers?
We know that he says heâll honour the Lestranges beyond their imagination?
Iâm not saying that has anything to do with how Delphini was conceived, Iâm simply implying some loose connectionsÂ
If you are a middle-aged white male Doctor Who fan and during this strange, scary global pandemic, you have the time and energy to continue to comment at great length, on every single post the BBC or fansites make, on any and every social media platform, that Jodie Whittaker is a âterrible actressâ who has âruined the entire showâ, that a female Doctor and POC companions is all just âPC bullshitâ, that the show is âghastly and ruined forever nowâ, that itâs âpreachy and terrible and everything about it is shitâ, that âcanon has been ruined foreverâ and âeveryone involved should fuck off and dieâ...
Maybe have a word with yourself, yeah? Maybe be a bit kinder. Maybe get a life.
WHAT IF the Master eventually regenerates into a smol little girl, loses all of his memories, travels back in time, ends up next to a big *ss portal on an unknow planet and NEWS FLASH *SSHOLES heâs been the Timeless Child all along ?
And then gradually evolves into the Doctor ?!
Thatâd be a really odd redemption arc and alsoâŠa sad one I guess
