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pssst . . . i'm here now
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UTAHIME HAS ALWAYS BEEN TOO SMART FOR HER OWN GOOD โ it's not a quality particularly cared for by the higher-ups of jujutsu society, or by anyone in this [ wretched ] place, always valuing brute strength over anything else. the question begs to be asked : what's the point of anyone if not the strongest? what's the point of anything? there is none to protect. he has to remind himself of that โ what was once second nature now becoming almost a religious mantra, a prayer to be repeated every night โ the strong protect the weak ( what a sick joke to the theory of evolution ). he's lost in thought, a chain of unwanted self-contradicting ideas in rapid speed, that it takes him by surprise.
touch โ how long has it been since he's allowed someone else to touch him? it's a quick thing, gentle and soft, and still it is enough to make him flinch, body reacting quicker than his mind. suguru blinks, and then blinks again, like a deer caught in headlights, like the prey rather than the predator. he pulls uncomfortably at the collar of his uniform, looking away from her all-too-seeing eyes. he can't help but to frown at the mention of satoru, his name enough to bring a bitter taste to his lips, and he's half-sound enough to feel guilty about it, nails digging into his palms. โ are you so sure kyoto will lose that you're trying to get me to yield? it won't work, senpai. โ it's as bad of a deflection as they come, but it's all he can think about.
the wince, as if her skin burned upon his, is enough for iori to snatch her hand back and let it rest at her side. she is apologetic. boundaries are important to her. the act of encroaching on them makes her stomach churn. she means no harm. would never harm or maim or bother if not needed. even against a young man who has once or twice goaded the adolescent torment upon her by his other half. she could recall a single time where suguru did NOT have some sort of snide smile or snake-like swagger. utahime looks around the area, curious. had no one noticed? was he hiding it well and only let the expression free in this very moment?
she moves to beside him, to his left to block the sun a tad. subconscious need to support and protect. it is her job. her position in this life. it is also something iori takes immense pride in. to have purpose is priority. it will be what she is known for overall. invaluable eventually. arms cross under chest, โ if winning truly matters so much to you, the victory is yours. after we speak. โ body shifts, moreso facing him and fingers tug lightly at own ribbons end, โ what troubles you, geto-chan. let me be an ear. โ
@incantat1ons
"Protein shakes I know aren't for everyone, but I would suggest building up more muscles for speed. Just a doctor personal advice, but not one you should follow."
Since Sorcerers were physically and - maybe not- mentally prepared at all times. The school is still in one piece at least, and his side job as an actual sorcerer was...getting more intense the more curses appear. but still, he does his duties well enough.
iori eats her greens. works out weekly. she enjoys protein like a true carnivore. but this? nutrients, dusted and stored in plastic? it can't be that good, can it? her nose wrinkles, looking over at the packaging. a bulging bicep and a pearly white smile. goody. hand tilts the powdered concoction around, watching it flood to each end momentarily. it did not sound particularly appetizing but utahime was not one to show ungratefulness. she smiles thinly, shaking the bottle once, โ i'll be sure to . . . finish this. today. โ
@incantat1ons
SHEย NEVERย ABSCONDEDย UNNOTICED,ย onlyย unopposed.ย everyย morningย gojoย wouldย stirย justย inย timeย toย feelย theย mattressย lighten,ย thenย hearย herย gatherย herย belongingsย andย get dressedย inย preparationย forย herย exit.ย hisย eyesย wouldย openย forย furtherย confirmation.ย theyโdย promptlyย shutย againย forย theย pretenseย ofย slumber.ย herย exitย itselfย cameย withย itsย ownย emphaticย indicator:ย theย doorย openingย andย closing.ย sheย alwaysย didย itย slowlyย toย minimizeย theย noise,ย butย itย stillย struckย hisย earsย devastatingly.ย howย familiarย itย becameย causedย theย soundย toย amplifyย withinย hisย perception.ย
utahimeย wouldย leaveย asย ifย theย nightย beforeย didnโtย meanย anything.ย theย passionateย physicality,ย impossiblyย enhancedย byย sweetย nothingsย andย soulfulย eyeย contactโธบandย sunriseย wasย herย cueย toย forgetย aboutย itย all.ย itย didnโtย matterย thatย theย afterglowย wasย mutuallyย serene,ย thatย sheย soย willinglyย curledย upย toย himย andย letย hisย armsย engulfย her,ย thatย sheย foundย soporificย comfortย whenย closeย toย him.ย fromย intimateย toย distantย inย theย blinkย ofย anย eye.ย theย whiplashย wasย none-otherย thanย disorienting.
thisย morningย was unfurling no differently.ย dawnย arrivedย andย herย routineย commenced.ย sheย shiftedย awayย fromย him,ย towardsย theย edgeย ofย theย bed.ย theย instinctย toย watchย awakenedย him.ย withย herย feetย onย theย floor,ย sheย satย upright.ย herย shirtย wasย usuallyย theย firstย partย ofย herย outfitย toย beย donned.ย butย heย didnโtย haveย toย experienceย dejaย vuย onceย again.ย heย didnโtย wantย to.ย
inย aย flash,ย heย cameย rightย behindย utahime,ย surroundingย herย withย hisย bulk.ย hisย armsย clungย aroundย herย bodyย inย aย trap,ย pinningย herย toย him.ย sheย wasย nowย notย justย seatedย onย theย bedโsย perimeter,ย butย nestled betweenย hisย legsย asย well.ย
hunchedย over,ย heย buriedย hisย sullenย faceย inย herย shoulder,ย andย croakedย outย theย overdueย question,ย ย โย whereย doย youย thinkย you'reย going?ย โย ย
routine is important to utahime. it keeps her grounded. provides her purpose. no matter the occasion or event. no matter the alteration of her life, she sticks to ritual. at least, she tries to. there is a consistent wrench in her plans that goes back years. in its own twisted way, it has its own place in her calendar. satoru gojo's bi-weekly sleepover. cancelled on holidays. postponed due to weather advisories. with more stretching and positions performed than the act of yoga and more sweat and struggle than the average day of training, iori always leaves clear headed, loose limbed. ready for the days ahead as if revitalized through the act of heated and secretive intimacy. they don't talk during the grace periods either. maybe a wayward text here. an emergency meeting scheduled there.
outside of these times, utahime does not speak to satoru more than necessary. they are well trained actors committed to their bit. he sees her in passing, throws a snide remark with a sly grin, she bites back, fist waving in the air. they go home. maybe share a call. meet up if the timeframes permit it. she likes fridays. the rare saturdays where she has no confirmed plans. iori does not like rushing. she has tried before. random weekdays where she was too pliant and sated to resist the ball and chain of his arms around her after a night in. the act of waking up to an alarm sent hours earlier than normal, throwing on wrinkled attire and bolting out to catch the train back across to kyoto. somehow get ready and make it to work on time always cut things too close for her liking. she began to limit their trysts to weekends for this reason.
today is no different. a saturday morning. bright and early with chirping birds, the automatic start of his air conditioner's hum. she freezes, eyes a little wide. his sudden and unfamiliar change in their usually repetitive script, snapping her out of the sleepy autopilot. โ the train leaves at six, satoru. if i'm not out the door soon, i'll have to catch the 7:30. โ head cranes to look at him as best she can given his relentless hold, โ not everyone can teleport, remember? โ
โ i was just as surprised as you were. โ especially with a certain white haired, blindfold wearing teacher, who seemed to put his students through the ringer on the daily. he mustโve gone easy today, which is unlike him, but shoko chooses not to dwell on it. especially when sheโs in the presence of utahime, and given a reprieve from her normal mundane nightly routine.
ah, she shouldnโt be surprised by ioriโs enthusiasm, and yet, she is. itโs not like this is the first time sheโs stayed over, itโs quite normal for her. however, she didnโt want to feel like she was overstepping. โ oh yeah, i forgot about that toothbrush. โ a physical manifestation of their bond, theyโre close enough that she can leave something behind, to come back to whenever she stayed over.
now that sheโs released, she bends down to grab the takeout. clutched safely against her chest, rising to her full height. she steps further into utahimeโs place, her gaze never leaving her senpai. โ i havenโt planned that far ahead, but sometime early tomorrowโฆ maybe late enough, so we can go to that new cafe. โ
iori's days are not nearly as eventful. the tokyo campus is alight with all kinds of trouble and action. kyoto is on the quieter side. it's why they excel more in academics than combat. utahime prioritizes battle strategy, quick thinking, problem solving. in some ways she considers her campus the brains to tokyo campus' brawn. it is either that or she is simply compensating for the lack of incidents on their side of the plane. utahime tries her best not to be competitive that way. it never does her any good.
she takes a seat on the couch, patting the middle cushion to coax shoko over. hands rest atop fold out table, palms flat and sliding against the trail of condensation from cans of crisp cold sake. smile will not cease, especially at the notion of of ieiri being able to stay a few hours more than the usual, โ perfect! oh, i was going to get beer but i saw these and decided against it. aren't they cute? i normally don't like the sweet stuff but designs sold me. i got us a few different ones. strawberry, melon, lemon, blackberry-- โ
scar origins
when mei-mei departs from the school to work independently, utahime begins to step up at the kyoto campus. graduating as a grade two sorcerer, iori's goal was to achieve the grade one status like her peers. she began training and planning relentlessly despite the pleading from principal gakuganji to not over exert herself. while the faculty and higher ups disagreed with her tireless pleading and often voiced that she was simply too unequipped for the task and grade level, utahime refused to cease her attempts. after a year of preparation and convincing, she is permitted to go on her very first solo mission against a semi-grade one curse. this event is how utahime gets her scar at 21 years old.
upon arrival, she immediately notices she is not within her capabilities. her hits land but do not do nearly enough damage to fully subdue the curse. in a fit of panic and embarrassment her own failed attempt at slaying the curse, she prepared to activate her cursed technique. due to her own frazzled state of mind, she could not completely focus and as a result, solo forbidden area did not reach a level of input sustainable to protect her from the curse's defense attack against her. iori's face was slashed violently. the shock and pain caused her to faint and out of consciousness, her veil automatically ceased allowing the curse to flee. she remained there until she was found later in the night by a concerned gakuganji.
after she is patched up and healed as best as she can be with the assistance of shoko ieiri, utahime refuses to explain what occurred. gakuganji makes the assumption that she did successfully handle the curse and utahime impulsively does not correct him. the aftermath of this ordeal results in her being promoted to semi-grade one at his insistence and subsequent pity. for utahime, it does not feel like a well earned victory but a participation trophy at best.
@incantat1ons.
APOLOGETICย KISSESย BRUSHEDย acrossย theย bridgeย ofย her nose,ย theย siteย thatย enduredย traumaย whichย leftย aย scarย uponย healing.ย hisย lipsย lovinglyย caressedย thisย particularย patchย ofย skin.ย havingย aย distinctlyย differentย textureย didnโtย exemptย itย fromย hisย adoration.ย afterย all,ย itย showedย survival.ย
unfortunately,ย theย needย toย proveย herselfย spiraledย intoย temerity.ย althoughย herย actionsย wereย ofย herย volition,ย theย hierarchalย natureย ofย herย jobย forcedย herย hand.ย sheย foundย herย positionย unsatisfactory.ย perhaps,ย itย wasย aย necessaryย evil forย themย toย beย judgedย byย theirย strength.ย then,ย missionsย andย tasksย wereย ableย toย beย assignedย accordingly,ย toย ensureย noย oneย wouldย beย outย ofย theirย depth.ย theย upperย echelonย entailedย greatย workloadย andย responsibility.ย theย lower,ย however,ย wereย dealtย less.ย someoneย ofย thatย standingย couldย easily conflateย itย withย self-worth,ย feelingย insignificantย orย unwanted,ย andย growย overlyย ambitious.
honingย oneโsย craftย wasย usuallyย aย tedious,ย painstakingย process.ย breakthroughsย tookย yearsย toย buildย upย to.ย therefore,ย itย wasย easyย toย overextendย forย aย resultย thatย wasย wantedย immediately,ย andย thisย wouldย onlyย proveย detrimental.ย
thereย wereย exceptionsย toย theย rule,ย whichย gaveย riseย toย questionsย regardingย fate.ย ifย someย wereย simplyย bornย gifted,ย destinedย forย preeminence,ย whileย othersย werenโt,ย noย matterย howย hardย theyย worked.
aย complex,ย nuancedย topic,ย indeed,ย butย notย oneย nanamiย aimedย toย delveย into.ย asย muchย asย heย wishedย sheย hadnโtย hurtย herself,ย heย understoodย herย desire to evolve.ย hisย mainย grievanceย wasย hisย absenceย duringย aย timeย sheย neededย himย most.ย heย shouldโveย beenย thereย toย holdย herย handย throughoutย herย recovery.ย butย heย leftย beforeย herย accidentย occurred.ย cleansingย himselfย ofย theย sorceryย worldย completelyย meantย becomingย ignorantย toย itsย affairs, all inย theย nameย ofย aย newย lifeย thatย didnโtย comeย toย fruition.ย inย theย end,ย heย returned.ย proceedingsย wereย mostlyย theย same (notย thatย heย expectedย reform),ย andย hadย toย beย resignedย toย inย orderย forย himย toย fulfill his duties.ย utahimeย wonโtย beย theย lastย toย behaveย recklesslyย toย achieveย higherย esteem.ย
theย futilityย in regrettingย past decisionsย failedย toย register.ย heย couldnโtย stopย imaginingย howย muchย sheย mustย haveย yearnedย forย him.ย itย wasย aย shortcomingย thatย heย activelyย heldย againstย himself.ย conversely,ย utahimeย harboredย noย resentment,ย onlyย theย utmostย love.ย asย theย oneย whoโdย suffered,ย herย sentimentsย matteredย mostโฆ butย reconcilingย withย itย wasย suchย aย battle.
still,ย heย wasย makingย theย mostย ofย theย present,ย lavishingย herย faceย withย affection,ย cradlingย itย inย hisย palms.ย lipsย traveledย downย toย meetย hersย forย deep,ย tenderย contact.ย thereuponย heย exaltedย her,ย gazeย awashย withย sincerityย whilstย beholdingย brownย spheres.
โย you'reย beautiful.ย โ
to be seen so up close, unfiltered by sun or shadows or angles is an uncomfortable feat for utahime iori. she recalls the days leading up to her accident. the way she did not cherish cherub features enough. never doused them in blush or sparkle like mei suggested. in the days outside of the infirmary, feeling the sharp gusts of wind kiss tender scarring, utahime experienced true attention. everyone stared. some gasped, sorcerer and human alike. while she detested the saddened tsks and charitable well wishes, she must stomach it. this was the cost of getting what she wanted after all. even if it was only a portion of the original goal. her status is no badge of honor and instead treads the line of red herring. utahime often cannot tell what is worse-- her original grade two status or the semi-grade one upgrade that was tossed at her like scraps for a mangy stray that could not stay away.
secretly, utahime is grateful kento was not in the picture when it transpired. he would have relentlessly doted on her like a distraught parent. he would have most likely have prevented it all together by tagging along without her knowledge until it was time to swoop in. nanami would have saved her from the wound. lied for her comfort about grade levels meaning nothing and assuring her with more practice, she'd achieve it eventually. the possibilities make this moment less reverent and more dreary for her. she wishes her face was not viewed as a gruesome failure that needed to be soothed with reassurance and kindness.
lips cannot help the frown that drags down her once grinning stupor. she takes a step back, hands running through bangs to calm growing frustration. she does not want to be upset with nanami. she does not blame him or wish he'd stood around during her lowest period. it is merely the idea that he felt he should have that prickles her nerves. iori shakes her head, voice a mumble, โ don't do that. โ a thick swallow, arms crossing under chest as she looks elsewhere. if she looks at him directly she might be more snippy, less sweetened, โ i'm fine, alright? don't look at me like that. โ
fingers press into ribs, pulling naked love handles, mirroring his own touches and bruising on it's expanse like a lifeline. she knew he thought she was beautiful. it was felt in the way he held her. the way caressed her. the way whispered into her hairline as he moved above her. utahime appreciated that he could love her the same way he did before her face was altered. did not even stop to think of him pretending she still looked the same because in their moments together since, it was as if the marking did not exist at all. until now. until his lips graced it with loving reprieve and his eyes went a tad somber. it was not fair. she was still the same person he fell for. this shouldn't mean anything. shouldn't change how he views her. and yet . . .
will be doing a soft revamp so if my blog looks funky exit and look back later...
he didn't get down. of course he didn't.
instead, he just floated there, a lazy, unbothered god on an invisible throne. he took another long, slow slurp of the blue popsicle, watching her little tantrum with the detached amusement of a scientist observing a particularly energetic ant.
โprivate session?โ he echoed, his voice a lazy drawl that dripped with condescension. he looked around at the empty training grounds. at the sky. at his own shoes. โlooks pretty empty to me.โ
( so cute when she gets all flustered. sheโs like a little kitten trying to hiss at a truck. )he finally finished the popsicle, leaving only the two wooden sticks. he didnโt drop them. he just let them hover in the air beside him, two tiny satellites orbiting his ego.
โand iโm not being rude.โ he said, his face a perfect mask of serene, infuriating logic. โiโm just observing. itโs part of my job as the strongest. i have to, you know, monitor theโฆ less-strong. make sure they donโt hurt themselves. itโs a big responsibility.โ
he finally deigned to float down. not all the way. just enough so he was a few feet off the ground, looking down at her, his sunglasses still perched on his nose. his smile was a sharp, terrible, beautiful thing.
โbesides.โ his voice dropped. a quiet, conspiratorial murmur. โi already know about your sword-carrier guy. what other secrets are you hiding, utahime?โ
teeth grit, a slow turn of head upwards to glare at him, โ private means single or limited to few, you imp. โ gojo is incredibly smart. so much so that even her textbook definitions cannot save her from feeding into his purposeful antagonizing. it was unfortunate for her, really. she was having such a good day prior. sunbathed first thing in the morning while her hair dried. dawned girlish active wear with pride since she though she'd be alone. iori even planned to shower and take a trip to the cinemas after the day dwindled to night. nibble on flavored popcorn, pick out kernels with her fingernails and eat them all over again. have as much fun as a young woman could in this field.
now, her mood is soured. satoru sucking up her sweetness like it was one of his favored candies. utahime scoffs, wiping her sweat slicked forehead across with an arm and huffing. sore legs walk over to the bleachers and she rolls her own ankles for blood circulation. head shakes at his blabbering nonsense, โ i can't be harmed on school property. try again. โ sneakers are toed off, airing out the flesh freely and already expecting a comment on any lingering scents outside of flowers or cherries, โ if i had secrets, you would be the last to hear them. you're too eager to make fun of me. jerk. โ
-pokes utahime's head-
head whips to the side, eyes scanning over the other's form. her hand comes up, a light swat to cease his contact, โ manners. โ hand props open convenience store door for him to follow, โ i don't carry cash much anymore. โ eyes scan over neat aisles. she has a list. never goes out without a reminder of necessities when it comes to shopping. eyes scan over bagged candies, instant dinners, impotence pills with animals on their packaging. the consequences of being too fatigued for an actual grocery trip. plastic card is tucked in between index and middle. ready to do her good deed for the day, โ you're peckish, i'm assuming? โ
๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ป๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ๐ป ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ฝ๐น๐ถ๐ฎ๐ป๐ ( ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ข ๐ง๐ฆ๐ธ ๐ต๐ธ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ด ) ๐๐๐ฎ๐ต๐ถ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ถ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐๐จ๐๐จ๐ง๐ฆ๐จ ๐๐๐๐ฆ๐๐ก. ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ฒ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ + ๐ฝ๐ฟ๐ถ๐๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ญ+ ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐๐๐ฒ๐ป ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐ป๐ป๐ * ๐๐ต๐ฒ/๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ โ # ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฝ๐๐ฐ๐๐ท๐พ๐ฝ๐๐ฝ๐พ๐ท๐๐ฐ๐๐ฝ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ธ # ( โ ๐ค๐ข๐ข๐ณ๐ฅ .
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ .
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He leans his head on top of her lap and pulls up his blindfold to reveal an eye as he looks up at her with a playful smile. โ Mind if I rest here? โ
it was a breezy day. a little cloudy. autumn weather on the heels of a blistering summer. she sits out on apartment patio, stray hairs tickling her cheeks with every whispering gust of wind. the book in her hand had been purchased from a bookstore's best seller table. a slow drama turned whirlwind romance about a divorcee and merman. utahime takes to guessing metaphors and highlighting figures of speech, other phrases that feel profound and silly. a quiet afternoon at home had always the remedy for a busy week. though, ever since she found herself smitten, wholly in love, heart pumping saccharine, finally there is belonging to something other than self. than work.
novel placed aside, the tiniest inklings of a smile on her lips. finger tips trace the exposed brow bone, brushing through wisps of white, โ i believe the point of asking a question is to wait for an answer first. โ voice holds no ounce of firmness and reflects more of a wistful murmur. iori leans down to press a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. overly and utterly taken by his pristine visage. brow arches slightly, voice hinting at amusement, โ did you get restless again? i thought you had important matters to attend to. โ
clan business. financial check ins. secret peer visits. utahime is never too sure but she does not find herself particularly curious either. she will not say her trust is blind though. satoru does not lie to her. in fact, he is too honest. too blunt. he makes her stomach flip, thighs squeeze, heart flutter on whim, blood rush in defense. any thought that comes to mind is immediately shared. it is a transparent relationship for better or worse. but it works seamlessly for them. it is a comfort to know any questions can be asked and answered. any update or feeling is not to be feared or coveted.
palm caresses up and down his chest and belly as if dealing with a large canine that requires affection. nails lightly skimming to supply the particular edge of stimulation he prefers. iori grins softly, thumb pulling gojo's lower lip down to expose bottom row of teeth, โ i left coffee for you. it's probably cold now. โ eyes look beyond. utahime likes to watch the birds chirp and people walk the streets below from her tiny castle. and now she can do so with her charming prince in her lap. a little girl's dream manifested. she kisses his forehead now, gaze still focused on scenery, โ it looks like rain today. there goes our plans for that hike. โ