spiders will tell you where to go

my head is dizzy about

[incoherentsuggestions]

the fault doesn't lie within you. an outside source laughs at you. if you never existed you wouldn't be able to hurt people.

[incoherentsuggestions]

pull your brain out, pull it apart. arrange the pieces, put them back together the way you want them. this is your healing, this is your responsibility.

[incoherentsuggestions]

you have wings and a halo, but it leaks dark matter into your eyes and the feathers have no fluff, they're prickly and digging into your skin when folded. who said heavenly being is pleasurable?

[incoherentsuggestions]

stop building the walls around you so high noone can jump over. stop setting up the doors with the handle on just your side. stop creating a house without a doorbell.

[incoherentsuggestions]

when was the last time you screamed? when was the last time you screamed so hard it made you feel uneasy for a second but free afterwards? you don't remember. you have been bottling everything up so long the cork can no longer move.

[incoherentsuggestions]

you are sorry for your friends and how they worry about you. you are sorry but you don't do anything to get better.

[incoherentsuggestions]

my teeth hurt. my teeth hurt so bad i had to pull them all out. but they made fun of me for being toothless. i started sneaking in people's houses to look for teeth to take and glue to my gums. just had to find 32 but it turned out to be harder than i thought. i stole about 10 when i started hearing rumors about a fairy who apparently took children's fallen out primary teeth from them. next time i went to steal teeth i found money next to them and thank you notes. people thought i was a fairy instead of a thief. when i found all 32 i realized i could never grin again or people might realize i have their children's teeth in my mouth.

[incoherentsuggestions]

you talk and talk but noone hears it. it echoes in your head and stays there. people made you mute by not listening.

[incoherentsuggestions]

wash your body. scrub until it's clean. scrub until there's blood.

[incoherentsuggestions]

you don't want pure love. you want all of the imperfections that go with loving another person.

[incoherentsuggestions]

'i want to get better' you say as you stab yourself over and over again 'i need to get better'

[incoherentsuggestions]

hunger feels good. you will not eat until your stomach has eaten itself.

[incoherentsuggestions]

let's share a cigarette. then another and another. let's smoke so much we can excuse the silence with the lack of air.

[incoherentsuggestions]

you thought you had an option? that your opinion matters? you are so naive.

[incoherentsuggestions]

you are under my nails. behind my ear. in my lungs. on my mind.

[incoherentsuggestions]

don't talk to me i don't exist i don't i'm not here

[incoherentsuggestions]

you went to open the door fifty times today. but there's noone behind it. it's still knocking.