Incorrect Classics Quotes

An incorrect quote blog about different monster related books, musicals, movies, etc. I might end up doing other non-related quotes if the inspiration strikes, but not now. Submissions are open if you have any ideas, just send a quote with who it is.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

overwhelmed by the comedy of Dracula learning to cook & perform light housekeeping in order to convince His Good Friend Jonathan that there are invisible servant lurking in the background. And then it turns out Dracula is an excellent cook! to the point Jonathan remarks upon it in his diary!

How did this happen! Where did Dracula learn Home Economics???

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

In the notes I put an art prompt:

How did this happen! Who taught him! Where did he get the Ingredience! My theory is he has an Understanding with one of the Village Grannies, wherein she comes in to teach him to Home Economics skills, with the guarantee of immunity from bloodsucking + very generous payment. AND she gets the profound satisfaction of chiding Dracula Himself for under seasoning the soup. "no dear it needs more garlic" .…oh that's a hilarious mental image actually!!! Vampires and their garlic/salt allergy. Dracula getting all suited up in his personal protective equipment to handle garlic & salt for his dear friend Jonny's supper

and BY GOSH MCFUCKING GOLLY did the amazing @daeod0n delivery!!!

[underwhelmingalchemist]

[internetwerewolf]

Jonathan Harker: This is my fiancée Mina, and Minas girlfriend Lucy, and Lucy’s Fiancé Arthur, and Arthur’s Boyfriend John Seward, and Seward’s boyfriend Quincey, and

[binary-bird]

Hamlet as a D&D paladin.

Keep reading

[arrantknave]

some gems of insight from the reblogs (@aspiring-protagonist​ and @moderndayathena​):

[fan-enby-anonymous]

Weren’t you listening? He’s praying. GOES HARD AS FUCK

[incorrect-classics-quotes]

This is still a classic. And yeah, goes hard as fuck.

[soggywarmpockets]

This is what I'll be calling it, btw.

[incorrect-classics-quotes]

Spoilers for Dracula, I guess?

The book came out over a hundred years ago, but I won’t be an ass about it anyways.

What the fuck are all of you going to do when you think that Jonathan dies? I swear to god, if this hellsite gets to Super Hell levels of distraught over Dracula, I will capitalize on it instantly.

[patchworkedrainbow]

I emailed Matt, The creator of Dracula Daily and, uh...

Extremely excited to inform you over 100,000 people are following my good friend Jonathan Harkers adventure this year!

[higgsbison]

still unsure why every dracula adaptation to date refused to acknowledge his pre-yassified form is literally just old man revolver ocelot, but I'm glad this email subscription service is spreading the news

[incorrect-classics-quotes]

Man had hairy palms

[madeofstarsandfairylights]

I’d just like to say I’ve been a fan of the original dracula since I read it for school last year and I’m SO glad to see it get the attention it deserves

[polyphonetic]

"I could fix him" I could read his queer little emails about his paprika hallucinations and love for a castle weirdo despite the fearful warnings of the village folk. I could receive his little recipes he wants to make. I could gaze at my inbox dreamily while he's being driven by a cart in circles and is too awkward to say anything.

[lileewink]

[incorrect-classics-quotes]

I feel obligated to shout out Dracula Daily, especially since this blog literally started as a dracula blog. It’s cool, check it out. And check out my stuff if you like Dracula and similar content.

[victorfrankensteinsuggestions]

OHHH the horrors!! OOOHhhH the horrors! they haunt me!! the ho- sorry I got to take this

[victorfrankensteinsuggestions]

sorry my mom said we can't witness the horrors together anymore because you're a bad influence and i have to go do my calculus homework

[gay-time-traveler]

Frankenstein: I regret creating you

The Creature: then get rid of me, pussy

[incorrect-classics-quotes]

[amazoogle]

if i was a horny lady i would simply make a blog on here called hornyjessica96934694951034138541356924869342892843592138592385235 (my name is jessica in this scenario) and distribute malware or whatever

[mephistopheles]

i swear to god NOTHING makes me more pissed off then when everyone is like “oouheuehghoughough ough [thing] is so good it’s a classic you’ll love it” and they say it SO OFTEN that you resolve on principle to loathe [thing] with your entire being but when you actually get around to experiencing [thing] it literally IS That Good. physically trembling with rage at the fact that hamlet actually is one of the best plays ever written. DIE

[mephistopheles]

me when shakespeare plays actually DO have modern-day relevance and universal themes:

[mushroom--soup]