Maybe They Didn’t Say It

But maybe they would

[incorrect-elenium]

Bhelliom: DILF detected. Ehlana: What are your pronouns? Sparhawk: He/him. Ehlana: Chat I’m gonna trying rizzing him up. Ehlana *to Sparhawk*: Your ass so fat it makes me want to kill myself. Please tell me other people have seen this meme otherwise I’m gonna look stupid anyways hiii elenium fandom! Can’t believe this is how I introduce myself I’m the one that’s been clogging the tags 🤭-

[incorrect-elenium]

LET ME BOOP SPARHAWK

…You are welcome to try.

Sparhawk

I image Ehlana gets away with that pretty frequently.

(Mun)

[incorrect-elenium]

Aphreal voice over: This is Sparhawk. *cuts to a close up of Sparhawk’s face* He likes his personal space. And this is Kalten. *pans out to show Kalten hanging on to Sparhawk like a Koala to a tree* He also likes Sparhawk’s personal space.

[incorrect-elenium]

Kalten: *dashing inside and trying to catch his breath.* Annias. Pole. I. He’s. The ground. You missed it!

Sparhawk: * looking up from his book confused* I believe you dropped some words on the way in.

Kalten: *still panting* Oh. hit his head on a… outside, funniest thing ever saw. still laying on the ground. Can’t believe!

[incorrect-elenium]

Kalten: *winking at a pretty lady nearby, but is very drunk so he does it badly*

Tynian: Was that a wink?

Kurik: It’s all he does.

Sparhawk: It’s a nervous tick.

[incorrect-elenium]

First of all I would like to say you are the first person I could find who seems knowledgeable about the Elenium I could find, so I hope it’s okay if I ask you a ton of stuff.

I just started reading this series because my aunt bought it for me, and I’m Struggling (alas, I shall persist). I also realized that there is little to no fan art of this series, would you happen to have good descriptions or images of the characters (beyond book covers) cause I am struggling to visualize these characters.

That’s valid. One thing the Eddings didn’t do an excellent job of was character description. Here are some of the fan art I really like.

Elenium Knights by codaleia on DeviantArt

Elenium Knights by codaleia on DeviantArt

I’m not the biggest fan of Sparhawk’s look in this one, and I’m not sure why Ulath has a beard, but I’m going to chalk that up to artistic liberty.

ELENIUM KNIGHTS - David Eddings characters by codaleia on DeviantArt

ELENIUM KNIGHTS - David Eddings characters by codaleia on DeviantArt

This is a later work by the same artist. I like this version of Sparhawk better, but, Bevier doesn’t look quite Italian enough for my own personal interpretation.

Commission: Two Sirs walk in... by Cobyfrog on DeviantArt

Commission: Two Sirs walk in... by Cobyfrog on DeviantArt

I also really love this one, and I should because I commissioned it.

The wiki’s are pretty sparse on physical description, so if you’d like to know how they exist in my brain, I’m happy to share.

I also strongly recommend looking for the Japanese covers. Some times they’re a little weird, but it’s fun all the same.

[incorrect-elenium]

A Cyrinc commander: You’re going to fight that thing aren’t you?

Preceptor Abriel: Regrettably yes, I think I might be about to do that.

A Cyrinc commander: It’s really big.

Preceptor Abriel: I’ve seen bigger.

A Cyrinc commander: Really?

Preceptor Abriel: Are you joking? It’s massive!

[louisjackwest]

thoughts

it has come to my attention that kalten is a prime example of a himbo. this man knows nothing, his head is empty. no thinky.

[thefoxindocs]

Fair of face, Noble of heart, dumb of ass. 10/10 example.

[incorrect-elenium]

No notes

[incorrect-elenium]

Okay I first read The Elenium 20 years ago, and it's one of my favourite series' ever, but it only just occurred to me to see if there was any fandom around here. Your blog is absolutely hilarious, I'm cackling.

I’m so glad to hear that!

[incorrect-elenium]

Sephrenia: Contrary to popular opinion, some rocks do have scientifically proven auras! However, those rocks are Belliom and the aura is destruction.

[heretohelptheidiots]

Elenium Drabble set after the incident at the abandoned Styric settlement.

*******************************************************

Sparhawk sat by the fire, slowly struggling into wakefulness. The bustle of the camp flowed around him as he considered the flames.

“Sparhawk!” His head snapped up to look at the two blonde’s standing in front of him. Kalten stood with his arm wrapped firmly around the shoulders of a fuming Parasim.

“Gentlemen.” He acknowledged.

Parasim was given a lighthearted, but very firm push onto a log to the far side of the fire and Kalten sat down next to him. Parasim’s eyes were red rimmed, and his skin was pale with rage. Kalten kept a restraining hand on the younger man’s shoulder.

“Is something wrong, little brother?” Sparhawk asked, keeping his tone mild. Parasim took a breath, finally looking Sparhawk in the eye.

“Sir Haldorain.” He nearly spat.

“Can’t say I’ve had the pleasure. What did he do?” Sparhawk leaned back a little.

“He-he. After last night.” Parasim sputtered, too angry to be coherent yet.

“He was talking about the superiority of Elenes, and Parasim was about to start a brawl before I redirected him.” Kalten supplied.

“I see, and after seeing that Styric settlement, you can’t imagine anything farther from the truth.” Sparhawk kept his tone mild, but he did feel a small, understanding smile tug at the corners of his mouth. Parasim nodded.

“I suspect our dear brother Haldorain is desperately trying to convince himself what he’s saying is correct. It’s easier than confronting the evil we Elenes can commit when we put our minds to it.” Sparhawk observed. Looking off in the direction Kalten and Parasim had come from, he could see Sir Olven and a few older knights corralling an unfamiliar young man.

“Is this really what we are?” Parasim’s despairing voice redirected Sparhawk’s attention back to the younger man. He was starting to regain some color, and the rage seemed to have stepped aside for confusion and hurt.

“As humans, as Elenes, or as Pandions?” Sparhawk asked.

“All, I suppose.” Parasim gave a vague wave of his hand for emphasis.

“Yes.” Sparhawk said simply. Parasim slumped, his shoulders dropping and his bright blue eyes cast downwards. “However, we can be so much better. Your reaction to all of this is proof.” Parasim looked up.

“Really?”

“Truely.” Sparhawk replied. Kalten put out a hand and ruffled the other blonde’s hair.

“I see why our little mother likes this one so much.” Kalten joked, earning a cautiously happy smile.

“Sir Parasim. Come here for a moment.” Sir Olven called, the younger knight standing next to him looking thoroughly shamefaced.

“Gentlemen.” He said politely, jumping up and making his way across the camp.

“Good lad.” Kalten observed.

“He is. I’m afraid he might not be with us very long.” Sparhawk admitted, watching the younger men talk. They appeared to come to some kind of accord and shook hands.

“Must you always be so dour?” Kalten asked, a mixture of annoyance and sadness in his tone.

“You know I’m right.”

“I’m afraid I do.”

[manyworldspress]

Keith Parkinson, Return of the Banished, 1991. Cover illustration for The Ruby Knight, book 2 of the Elenium series, by David Eddings (Ballantine / Del Rey, 1991).

__________________________________________________ Our shop: https://bookshop.org/shop/manyworldspress

[incorrect-elenium]

Heard you were taking asks! I think Im going to start with a heavy question,if thats okay.

Asking sparhawk and kalten,

How did Kalten and Sparhawks first meeting go?

Why did Sparhawks adopt kalten, anyway? I mean, the elder Sparhawk is the King's champion why would he take in a possibly traumatised orphan?

A lighter question:

Asking Danae, how would you rate tour parents parenting skills from 1 to 10?

Fine by me!

Mun

Kalten: Well, it’s not as though either of us particularly remember. We were…. (Struggles to recall an age)

Sparhawk: Four.

Kalten: Four! And according to Sephrenia, we were fast friends the minute we were introduced. And no one refuses our Little Mother when she gives you the “your fate is linked to this particular instance” look, not even a Sparhawk.

Sparhawk: Mother was quite taken with you as well, if I recall correctly.

Kalten: Of course she was, I was adorable, and only occasionally completely inconsolable…. Is that why we shared a room for all those years?

Sparhawk: You only just put those pieces together?

Kalten:… Yes. Not to seems ungrateful, not being alone did help quite a lot, but… that’s a lot of lost sleep for you, brother mine.

Sparhawk: You’re not the only Blonde who has cost me sleep. I wouldn’t concern yourself over it too much.

**************************************************

Danae: I would say….. 7/10. I don’t receive nearly the proper amount of kisses, but they clearly are trying very hard. And Rollo and Mmr do make up for some of their shortcomings.

[murderagenda]

The lack of elenium/tamuli fanfics is a crime. The lack of angst is a crime. At this point I might do the job myself and it'll be cringy as hell.

#kalten #sparhawk #elenium #ulath #kurik #talen #tamuli #theelenium

[incorrect-elenium]

You won’t be any worse than any of mine, I’m almost certain.

[incorrect-elenium]

Don't mind me, just going back through and liking all my old submissions! Good times.

-formerly pansexualpandion

Hey! No worries, good to see you. Mun

[incorrect-elenium]

Asks are officially open!

If there’s anything you’d like to ask the Elenium and Tamuli crew about, go ahead and submit your questions. Turn around times might be a bit slow so I do hope you’ll be patient. -Mun.

[funnytwittertweets]

[heretohelptheidiots]

Kalten: Yeah, me too.

Sparhawk:…. Kalten, buddy, are you alright?

Kalten:……………. no.