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@incorrect-kkc-theories
Kvothe never sang (or played) so well that a blind man was able to see colors, though he thinks he did.
It turns out, after 7 hours of someone playing music earnestly assuming you love every second of it, you will say anything to get them to stop.
The whole "living in the backwoods as Kote" is not, in fact, an attempt to get away from old enemies or avoid current power struggles as Kvothe claims. Rather, it is an attempt to avoid paternity suits/child support/taking responsibilty for the multiple children he fathered with Vashet, Penthe, Felurian, and every other random woman he slept with after his time in the Fae realm.
It turns out that the plant he was chewing to make himself infertile did not actually work.
On the bright side, due to how different he appears form the Adem, and his....unique personality, the Adem now believe in the concept of 'Man-Mothers'.
The whole "living in the backwoods as Kote" is not, in fact, an attempt to get away from old enemies or avoid current power struggles as Kvothe claims. Rather, it is an attempt to avoid paternity suits/child support/taking responsibilty for the multiple children he fathered with Vashet, Penthe, Felurian, and every other random woman he slept with after his time in the Fae realm.
It turns out that the plant he was chewing to make himself infertile did not actually work.
On the bright side, due to how different he appears form the Adem, and his....unique personality, the Adem now believe in the concept of 'Man-Mothers'.
Elodin actually ages backwards. The time he spent in the Crockery was when he managed to stay the same age for too long and went mad; all the stories about him are a result of his attempts to age in the normal direction. He dreads the day when he will have to give up the University, because who's going to take care of a 5yo child?
at kvothe: “haha yeah i was very young when i first joined the university. almost as young as you!”
*frantically hides the paintings of him when he first got his job as head namer as an old man*
What Kvothe actually has in his thrice locked chest: Elodin the Embryo.
When he opens it up, Elodin will complete his aging process, split into a sperm and an egg, and be reunited with his mother and father (no matter where they are).
The chest is locked for a reason.
Princess Ariel was killed by Ambrose, and it was Kvothe's fault.
The letter that Kvothe sent with the letter so smudged it couldn't deciphered?
Ambrose thought it was from Princess Ariel, and killed her to keep the secret, starting the war.
The Cthae is subtle. Had Kvothe run into any other fae, they would have warned him about what the Cthae is, preventing him from taking any major action.
But the slightest word that pushes him down the path to make a simple prank?
Who would have caught it?
NO, BAD!
Anyone taking our theories seriously shall be flogged on sight!
Princess Ariel was killed by Ambrose, and it was Kvothe's fault.
The letter that Kvothe sent with the letter so smudged it couldn't deciphered?
Ambrose thought it was from Princess Ariel, and killed her to keep the secret, starting the war.
The Cthae is subtle. Had Kvothe run into any other fae, they would have warned him about what the Cthae is, preventing him from taking any major action.
But the slightest word that pushes him down the path to make a simple prank?
Who would have caught it?
Not A Theory
I am incredibly against the scrapping of data for use in Generative AI without permission/ recompense to the creator(s).
And was about to opt this blog out of tumblr's AI program, before I realised how incredibly funny it would be to see absolute Nonsense AI articles about KKC due to data poisoning from this blog.
With that in mind:
Should this blog allow AI/Third Party Access?
YES! Poison The Well!
NO! Humour isn't a good enough reason to compromise morality!
Welp, the people (or at least 52 of them) have spoken, and a majority (30 of ya) have more moral fiber than odd/niche comedy desire:
Not A Theory
I am incredibly against the scrapping of data for use in Generative AI without permission/ recompense to the creator(s).
And was about to opt this blog out of tumblr's AI program, before I realised how incredibly funny it would be to see absolute Nonsense AI articles about KKC due to data poisoning from this blog.
With that in mind:
Should this blog allow AI/Third Party Access?
YES! Poison The Well!
NO! Humour isn't a good enough reason to compromise morality!
The Ritual that Bast does at the Lightning Tree before answering questions and dolling out favours links him (unbeknownst to himself or any other Fae) to the Cthaeh.
Granting him a touch of knowledge and insight, along with an extra helping of malice, and allowing the Cthaeh to influence him subtely but directly.
Think about it:
Fae at a Tree, Answers Questions, all Fae magic is either illusion or making something more of itself. So since no illusion occurred, and the most powerful Fae that answers Questions by a tree is the Cthaeh, to make the situation a greater version of itself, it must be more Cthaeh like.
You think incorrect-kkc-theories would just...go on the internet and lie?
The Ritual that Bast does at the Lightning Tree before answering questions and dolling out favours links him (unbeknownst to himself or any other Fae) to the Cthaeh.
Granting him a touch of knowledge and insight, along with an extra helping of malice, and allowing the Cthaeh to influence him subtely but directly.
Think about it:
Fae at a Tree, Answers Questions, all Fae magic is either illusion or making something more of itself. So since no illusion occurred, and the most powerful Fae that answers Questions by a tree is the Cthaeh, to make the situation a greater version of itself, it must be more Cthaeh like.
The Yllish Story Knot on the Lackless box contains instructions on how to open it.
The Box itself contains 2 items: 1) Instructions on how to make the box.
2) A really clear glass marble, that was super hard to make to make 3000 years ago, and was a prize for whoever opened it.
Not their fault that it took so long and glass smelting advanced to such a degree.
Kote can't open the thrice locked chest because he got the keys confused.
Y'see, it is obvious that the Iron Key should go with the Iron Lock, and the Copper Key with the Copper Lock. So he had to switch them.
But anyone who knew it was Kvothe's chest would know he would do that, so he switched it back. But that is what people would expect, so he had to do the opposite, and so on. Until he totally forgot what layer he landed on.
(for those of you wondering why the copper key clicked when turned if it was the wrong key: It would be pretty damn obvious that it was the wrong key if it didn't click)
The Cthaeh actually got bored of the whole 'Give advice that kills a shitton of people' millenia ago.
It escaped the tree, set up a few things to make it seem like it was still there, and fucked off to Temmerant to have fun (in other words: petty vindictiveness rather than large scale evil).
It sets up a persona, gains enough power to fuck with people, lives out a human lifespan, then resets elsewhere.
It is currently Master Hemme, and has been for the last 40 odd years.
The Cthaeh is a Environmentalist with a bad rap.
Everyone knows it can see most manifistations of the future, and what small changes will lead to what outcome. But no one knows why it stays in the tree killing butterflies.
The answer, of course, is to prevent hurricanes.
A single flap of a butterfly's wings can (eventually) cause a thunderstorm. Knowing this, the Cthaeh found the tree with the most butterflies and kills the ones whose flight will cause natural disasters.
It started the creation war, as that lead to the separation (or creation) of the Fae realm, which is untouched by modernisation, and mainly wilderness.
All other 'Evils' are gross exagerations.
The Cthaeh is just a Tree hugging hippy.
(The being a dick to visitors is because one gets bored being alone for thousands of years when you are just trying to help the world)
Who Will Die Before the End of Doors of Stone
Kvothe (oooh, bold choice)
Denna
Auri
Ambrose
Hemme
Wil
Sim
Patrick Rothfuss
Who Will Die Before the End of Doors of Stone
Kvothe (oooh, bold choice)
Denna
Auri
Ambrose
Hemme
Wil
Sim
Patrick Rothfuss
Dennas patron isn’t actually abusive rather he beats her so bad in tak (uses his walking stick to move the pieces) that it makes her cry
He’s got a giant Tak board with big plastic pieces like the chess sets you sometimes see in parks
