Incorrect Quotes Templates

Incorrect quotes templates from yours truly. He/Him

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A: You drink your coffee black, B?

B: Yes.

A: God, who hurt you?

B: Alphabetically or chronologically?

A: Let’s forget I asked.

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A: Is that a glock in your pocket?

B: No.

A: What?!

B: It’s two glocks.

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A, to B: You get hysterical.

A, to C: You worry about every detail.

A: And then you turn on each other.

B: No we don’t.

C: Yes we do.

B: How dare you?

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A: Be serious for a minute.

B: Thirty seconds is my record.

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A: B, do you take requests?

B: Anything!

A: Shut your cake hole!

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A: I’m way too sleep deprived to be dealing with your negativity right now.

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A: All these ghosts- all these ghosts- and I still can’t find a boo!

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A: Can’t you ever be serious?

B: I tried it once. Everybody laughed.

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A: I hate birthdays... What do I even say? Congrats on your survival? Good job on not sying?

B: Happy birthday?

A: Oh yeah, that works.

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A: B, can I talk to you for a moment? In private.

B: Ooh, someone’s in trouble! It’s me, I don’t know why I sad that.

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A: If you think you’re unattractive, just look into the mirror. Now you know you’re unattractive. Education.

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A: I did a thing.

B: A thing?

A: Let’s not talk about the thing.

B: We’ll talk about the thing later.

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A: I honestly don’t think you could even tie your own shoes without me.

B: I’d make it a week.

A: Really? What’s your social security number?

B: ...

B: Five.

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A: I have the highest kill count in this family.

B: You don’t have the highest kill count.

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*Playing two truths and a lie*

A: Okay my turn! Um... okay. My eyes are brown. I’m basically sample sized. And one time I escaped from a Thai drug lord’s car trunk by bribing him with sex.

B: Right idea, honey, but it’s got to be more challenging for everybody...

C: Their eyes are blue.

B:

B: You did what?!

[incorrect-quotes-for-vibe-time]

A: Why are you smiling?

B: What? Can’t I just be happy?

C: D tripped and fell in the parking lot.

[incorrect-quotes-for-vibe-time]

A: But what about C?! They were my soulmate!

B: You said that about a ball of yarn once!