go watch shazam! (2019)

fake quotes from shazam

[incorrect-shazam]

Billy: Why don’t you go on a real date?

Freddy: Because theyre never as good as fantasy dates.

[incorrect-shazam]

Billy: Sometimes I grow a beard.

Security guard: It looks like it’s glued on..?

Billy: Yes, and sometimes I glue one on.

[incorrect-shazam]

Freddy: You’re too easily offended.

Billy: I can’t believe you just said that!

[incorrect-shazam]

Billy: Whenever I’m about to do something, I think “would an idiot do that?” And if they would, I do not do that thing.

[incorrect-shazam]

Billy: Wouldn’t more than one cheez-it be called cheese-thems?

Freddy:

Billy:

Freddy: I’m not having this conversation again, it’s 4 am, go to sleep.

Billy: *mumbling under his breath* it’s a valid question.