Origami Around
★
Sweet Seals For You, Always
ellievsbear
oozey mess
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
taylor price
PR's Tumblrdome
KIROKAZE
h
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
pixel skylines
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
wallacepolsom
Claire Keane
Sade Olutola
RMH
sheepfilms
noise dept.
d e v o n
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Bolivia
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Germany
seen from Bolivia
seen from Philippines
seen from Bolivia
seen from Bolivia
@incorrect-slimerancher-quotes
Beatrix: I made tea.
Mochi: I don't want tea.
Beatrix: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Mochi: Then why are you telling me?
Beatrix: It's a conversation starter.
Mochi: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Beatrix: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.
Mochi: I can explain.
Beatrix: Can you?
Mochi: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
Beatrix: Look, I may not be a saint, but it's not like I've killed anybody. I'm not an arsonist. I've never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
Viktor: Okay, that's really specific, and makes me think that you definitely did do that.
Mochi: God, give me patience.
Beatrix: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Mochi: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.
Viktor, tending Beatrix's wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Beatrix: Zero stars.
Viktor:
Beatrix: Would NOT recommend.
Mochi: Here's some advice-
Beatrix: I didn't ask for any.
Mochi: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me.
Viktor: You often use humor to deflect trauma.
Beatrix: Thank you!
Viktor: I didn't say that was a good thing!
Beatrix: Look, what I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.
Mochi: I actually have a black belt.
Beatrix: What, in karate?
Mochi: No, from Gucci.
Beatrix: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Viktor: Do you mean literally or figuratively?
Beatrix: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...
Viktor: So, what's for dinner?
Beatrix, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret.
Mochi: Sorry I'm late, I was doing... things.
*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*
Beatrix: *bursts into the room, out of breath* SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE STAIRS!
Beatrix: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Mochi: Stop romanticizing the past.
Viktor: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me.
Beatrix: Okay, but in my defense, Mochi bet me 50 cents I couldn't drink all that shampoo.
Viktor: That's not what I-- you drank SHAMPOO?!
Viktor: I trust Beatrix.
Mochi: You think she knows what she's doing?
Viktor: I wouldn't go that far.
Viktor, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!
Beatrix: *walks in covered in ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.
Mochi: I prevented a murder today.
Beatrix: Really? How'd you do that?
Mochi: Self-control.
Beatrix: I was arrested for being too cool.
Mochi: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.