Incorrect South Park

Incorrect quotes (not) said by South Park characters.

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Kidnapper: We have your friend. Kenny: You have Cartman? Kidnapper: Yes. Kenny: Good luck with that.

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Kenny: As your best friend- Stan: Kyle's my best friend. Kenny: AS YOUR BEST FRIEND!

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Cartman: I'd like you to take a moment to think back to a time when you did something stupid, how you were treated, and how you wish you were treated. Kyle: What did you do Cartman?

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Kyle: People often greatly underestimate how much I will inconvenience myself to prove a point.

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Stan: Would you slap your best friend for a thousand gold? Cartman: I would slap Kenny for free. Kenny, tearing up: I'm your best friend?

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Stan: I suffered from really bad chronic nosebleeds when I was younger, and one time I had one so bad it got all over my face and pajamas and hair. It was everywhere. I looked like I'd just eaten someone. Stan: My mum wasn't home, so I went downstairs to my dad and tapped him awake and he opened his eyes to see a bloodsoaked child leaning over him in the dark saying "Please help." Stan: To this day, I can still hear him screaming.

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Kyle: I want you to say something positive about yourself. Stan: I have eyes.

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Cartman: You like me? You like my personality? Kyle: I was surprised too.

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Cartman: Well believe me, I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid… and I went ahead anyway.

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Kyle: You think I enjoy being a mother hen to you all!? Stan: Kenny: Cartman: Kyle: Okay, fine, it's like crack to me.

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Stan: You could have died! Kenny: It wasn't that bad. Dr. Doctor said all the bleeding was internal. That's where the blood is supposed to be!

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Kyle: Cartman is definitely plotting something. Stan: Maybe he's scheming. Kyle: No, scheming looks different. He's definitely plotting.

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Cartman: Thank you for agreeing to see me. Kyle: I didn't. You just barged in here and started talking. Cartman: I don't have time for a history lesson.

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Kyle: I spy with my little eye, someone who needs to shut the fuck up. Cartman: Is it me? Kyle: It's always you.

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Kyle: Did you seriously almost get yourself killed to prove you're right!? Cartman: No, I almost got myself killed to prove you're wrong.

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Stan: Love isn't real. Kyle: You're literally making a Valentine's Day card for Wendy right now. Stan, threatening him with a hot glue gun: You're on thin fucking ice.

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Cartman, reading a note: I hope you choke on your Cheesy Poofs. Kenny: Well, at least these submissions are anonymous. Cartman: No, this one is signed by Kyle.