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Hi I'm Al and I've got the quotes, all you need are the names.

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A: Bonjour, [B]. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

B: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

A: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

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A: [B], we tried things your way.

B: No, we didn't.

A: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

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A: That's not funny.

B: I thought it was funny.

A: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

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A: Which movie are you and [C] going to see tonight?

B: Oh, I always go to whichever movie [C] wants.

A: Which one do they want to see?

B: I haven't decided yet.

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A: It'll be fun.

A: We'll make it a boys day.

A: Come on you punk bitch.

B: I can't believe I have to say this.

B: I don't have time to get tested for sti's with you tomorrow.

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A: Oh and for your information, I don't have an ego.

A: My facebook photo is a landscape.

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A: Are you sure [B]'s even gay? They barely even looked at me.

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A: Can you keep a secret?

B: Well, I'm good until I meet the next person.

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A: You think you're smarter than everyone else.

B: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

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A: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.

B: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

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A: Which way did they go?

B: Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I'd guess they went left.

A: You could really figure it out from that?

B: No, you idiot, they sent me a text. See?

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A: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

B: All I drank was Redbull!

A: How many?

B: Eighteen.

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A: This was almost a great idea.

B: You just described 90% of our stuff.

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A: How much did you spend on this date?

B: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.

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A: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

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A: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.

B: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in his own pool. Big difference.

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A: [B], can I speak to you for a minute? In private.

B: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.