Paper Mario the Thousand Incorrect Quotes

Someone woke up and equipped the Chaos Badge.

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Accepting submissions. Only up to two submissions posted per day. Also, if you know the source of a quote without a source tag, feel free to let me know.

Drawing quotes is ok as long as you credit this blog.

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Goombario: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Vivian: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Koops: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Bobbery: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Goombella: My moral code, is that you?

Goombario:

Goombario: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you all need a hug?

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Vivian: Sorry I'm late. I was doing stuff.

Bow: I'm stuff.

Vivian: Bow, no!

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Goombella: You sanguine about the reception we're apt to recieve at the X-Naut fortress?

Mario: Absolutely. What's "sanguine" mean?

Goombella: Sanguine. Hopeful. Plus, point of interest, it also means "bloody".

Mario: Well that pretty much covers all the options, doesn't it.

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

*While exploring Schwonk Fortress*

Mario: I've solved it! There's a booby trap every seven secONDS!

*A bladed pendulum flies past his face, barely missing his mustache.*

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Bow: Viv, you've been cuddling with me for over an hour now.

Vivian, tiredly: Mm-hmm.

Bow: Fuck. I should be annoyed, but you're adorable.

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Goombella: Who the fuck added me to the fucking group chat?

Koops: Language!

Vivian: Yeah, watch your fucking language!

Bow: Alright, who taught Vivian the fuck word?!

Flurrie: "The fuck word".

Bobbery: What do you mean? You all use the F word all the time.

Ms. Mowz: Oh my god, he censored it.

Vivian: Say fuck, Bobbery.

Mini-Yoshi Do it, Bobbery. Say fuck.

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Flurrie: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Goombella: Ms. Mowz, what are you doing on top of the tree?

Ms. Mowz: I thought you said the star goes on top?

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

*Bow is laying on the floor*

Koops: Is she okay?

Goombella: She's just a little overwhelmed.

Koops: Why?

Goombella: Vivian smiled at her.

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Mini-Yoshi: Am I in trouble?

Mario: Take a guess.

Mini-Yoshi: ...no?

Mario: Take another guess.

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Bow: Seen a lot in your day?

Grodus: I have survived many battles.

Bow: Then you know of the bitchslap.

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Mini-Yoshi: Who wants to make fifty coins?

Koops: How?

Mini-Yoshi: I need someone to take the fall.

Koops: What did you do?

Mini-Yoshi: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

Flurrie, from the other room: Oh my god.

Mini-Yoshi: ...

Flurrie: OH MY GOD!

Koops: Make it a hundred.

Mini-Yoshi: Deal.

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Bow: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Vivian: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Bow: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?

Vivian: Is it working?

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Koops: How petty can you get?

Goombella: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

*as the heroes encounter Gloomtail*

Vivian: Wait, wait, wait! — I know this guy! ...yeah, we are screwed.

[incorrect-ttyd-quotes]

Bow: Hey, Viv? You love me, right?

Vivian: Normally, I'd say yes with absolutely zero hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won't like.