Lily: I spy with my little eye something beginning with ‘s’.
Vlad: Sunshine?
Lily: Nope.
Vlad: *looks over at Anya and Dmitry arguing* Sexual tension?
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@incorrectanastxsiaquotes
Lily: I spy with my little eye something beginning with ‘s’.
Vlad: Sunshine?
Lily: Nope.
Vlad: *looks over at Anya and Dmitry arguing* Sexual tension?
Dmitry: [At Anya’s door, holding a sign that says “Homecoming?”]
Vlad: [opens the door] Oh my gosh, yes!
Dmitry: N-no! Go tell Anya!
Vlad: Okay!
Vlad: Anya! I’m going to homecoming with your boyfriend!
Gleb: [after hearing a joke] If I had learned how to laugh as a child, I would right now.
Dmitry: I'm not gonna fight you.
Anya: Why? I'd fight me.
Gleb: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you’ve lost throughout your life.
Dmitry: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
Lily: My will to live! I haven’t seen this in 15 years!
Vlad: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.
Anya: Mental stability; my old friend!
Gleb: I lost my old notebook but yeah sure
Dmitry: Hey your worship, I’m only trying to help.
Anya: Will you PLEASE stop calling me that!
Anya: Why, you stuck up… half-witted… scruffy-looking… Nerf-herder!
Dmitry: Who’s scruffy-looking?
Gleb: What are your names?
Dmitry: Don’t tell him, Vlad.
Gleb: [writing down] Vlad.
Dmitry: Oh shit.
Vlad: Good job, Dmitry.
Gleb:
Vlad: Shit.
Anya: You’re cute, but selfish and narcissistic to a point of near-delusion. [leaves]
Dmitry:
Dmitry: She called me cute.
Vlad: Why’s Anya on the counter?
Dmitry: She likes to be tall.
Dmitry: Man, it’s really muggy out today.
Anya: If I go outside, and all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m gonna kill you.
Dmitry:
Dmitry: *sips coffee from a bowl*
Vlad: Remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set?
Lily: No, I said, “Vlad, don’t lick the swing set,” and you said, “Don’t tell me what to do, Lily.” and then you licked the swing set.
Anya: Come on, okay? You’re beautiful. You have nothing to be insecure about.
Dmitry: That is way too emotionally supportive and you need to just lock that shit down.
Dmitry: *throws stones at Anya’s window*
Anya: You have your phone for a reason!
[thump]
Anya, lifting open her window: DID YOU THROW YOUR FUCKING PHONE AT THE WINDOW
Vlad: On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9. I’m the only one you need
Lily: No, what the fuck? I’m a 10
Dmitry: When you’ve been living on the streets for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.
Vlad: Blue’s not your color.
Dmitry: Blue brINGS OUT MY EYES, YOU PRICK!
Vlad, at Dmitry and Anya’s wedding: I feel like my two kids grew up and then they married each other…
Vlad: It’s every parent’s dream.