Nobody gets me but you | John Logan
Summary: Logan loves you but doesn't say anything because he's scared to lose you. You on the other hand are absolutely clueless to his charms.
Pairings: john logan x bsf!reader
warnings: none :) it's all fluffy and fluffy is good. a lil bit of panic but everything turns out okay 😋😋
AN: thank you all for liking my first piece. So here I am with some fluff because Home was angsty enough. Also I was listening to Gets Me by my bouy Antonio and this is kinda like inspired by it but not really. Hope you like it!!!
I don't know how to link my other fic but you can find it on my profile!
If someone asked John Logan when he fell in love with you, he would laugh, hard. Not because it was funny.
Because he genuinely didn't know.
Maybe it was when you threatened to fight a vending machine after it ate his dollar and refused to give him his Snickers bar.
Or when you stole his hockey hoodie because it smelled like ‘laundry and bad decisions, john’.
Or when you crawled into his bed after a nightmare you had about a zombie snowman in freshman year, too embarrassed to say anything, you simply came to his bed and said, ‘Move over.’
‘You know what’, Garrett said one fine afternoon as he watched you happily braid one small section of Logan's hair, while John sat criss-cross apple sauce on the floor, visibly pretending to be annoyed, clearly not enjoying your hands in his hair.
‘You both look pathetic.’
Logan didn't even look up to reply, ‘I'm comfortable.’
‘No,’ Garrett gagged, ‘You're both like an old married couple.’
Your hands paused for exactly half a second before continuing.
‘Definitely in love’, Dean chimed in, winking as Logan jerked his head up to look at him with murderous intent.
‘How many times do I have to tell you to stay still, you idiot’, you said, pulling his hair back towards your knees.
The room erupted into laughter and Logan buried his face in his hands, obeying your wishes and sitting up straight.
‘You see?’, Dean wheezed, ‘She's impossible.’
You genuinely did not have a single clue as to what was happening. And how could you?
John Logan was a man of charm, he flirted with everyone and everything. That was just public knowledge.
Girls in class? Absolutely Check.
A girl walking her dog? Check.
Probably the dog too? Check.
You had watched him flirt with everyone. And that's just who he was, a moderately handsome, okay no. A handsome man with skills.
So when he winked at you, when he hugged you from behind, when he rested his chin on your shoulder, It never meant anything.
That was just Logan being Logan.
There were so many of the little things that you never noticed. (1d mentioned kms)
John remembered your coffee order, your favourite snack with it.
He remembered every exam date before you did.
When you got cold, his jacket somehow landed around your shoulders before you even complained.
If you yawned, a blanket spawned.
If you were upset about something, he would bring you fries with extra fries from Malone's with a big strawberry shake and then complain about you dipping them in the shake but eat them nonetheless because it was you feeding him with your hands, and how could he pass up an opportunity like that?
It became such a routine that you never even questioned it, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, it was just Logan being Logan.
‘Can you open this?’, you said, extending the pickle har you had been trying to open for the last 5 minutes and failing spectacularly, scared the pickle juice would splash you. He opened the pickle jar with no difficulty as if it was literally dust.
‘Don’t smile like that, I know you saw me struggling’, you said pouting. And Logan? He just smiled and focused back on his assignment.
Not even five minutes later,
‘My phone died’, you sighed.
‘Here, just take my charger mine is halfway done anyways’, he said as he passed you the charger before he completed his own sentence.
‘Thanks Logie’, he tried not to smile but his face betrayed him.
Not even 8 minutes later,
He looked up from his notes immediately, ‘Yes y/n?’
‘My feet hurt. I don't know what's up with them these days.’ you sighed, again.
And then without a single word, he closed his notes and laptop, and patted his lap.
‘Obviously, now come here.’
You started giggling, ‘You're ridiculous, Logie.’ But you stretched out anyway, resting your legs across his thighs while continuing to read as he absentmindedly started rubbing your calves, pressing the soles of your feet, pressing the pressure points with his fingers. He felt you relax into his touch, closing your eyes and sighing in relief.
John rubbed and massaged your feet, not because you asked him to but because he knew you had spent the whole week over working yourself, standing for hours at ends.
Dean walked into the apartment. Stopped, taking in the scene playing before him, eyes wide, first, he looked at Logan, then, he looked at you.
Looking back at Logan, he started, ‘you knowwww, Garrett was right’.
‘What?’, you both said in sync.
‘You guys are basically married at this point.’
You and John protested at the same time,
Dean sighed dramatically, both of you were stupid as fuck, ‘I give up.’
One Friday night, everyone decided to watch horror movies. Everyone was gathered in the living room, settled across the room.
In your opinion, it was a terrible idea. why you ask? because you absolutely hated horror movies with a burning passion.
You were dreaming of zombie snowmans for fucks sakes, you couldn't even imagine what your dreams would look like after the movie, shuddering at the thought, you snuggled into John, who was sat next to you with a hand across your shoulder.
An hour into the movie, you hid your face against Logan's side, his arm holding you tight.
This particular jumpscare got the best of you, and you immediately buried your face into his chest, a small squeak coming from your mouth, hands clutching his hoodie. Logan froze.
And of course all four boys turned towards you at the same time and turned back towards the movie, smiling ever so slightly.
Logan carefully rested his cheek against the top of your head, his hands rubbing your back slowly he asked, ‘you okay?’
You could feel his group tighten, he held you tighter, ‘you wanna leave?’
‘I just need to borrow your heartbeat', you whispered.
Hearing you say that, his heart almost stopped. No, he was certain that he died and came back to life.
Snuggling into him you explained, ‘It calms me down.’
He didn't answer. He actually couldn't answer because he was certain that his brain had stopped functioning. Instead, he wrapped both arms around you, softly and so carefully as if you would break.
You sighed happily in his arms, the movie long forgotten, your friends long forgotten, just you and him against all odds.
Garrett quietly whispered to Hannah, ‘I think I'm watching a man die.’
Sometimes you wondered why silence with Logan never felt awkward. Why it never left you feeling odd.
Both of you spent hours and hours together.
He studied while you read, feet tangled beneath the coffee table or when sat on the opposite ends of the couch.
No conversations. No phones.
Just Existing, calm and quiet, dare you say peaceful.
And it confused the hell out of everyone else who witnessed the scene.
‘You guys don't even talk,’ Dean grumbled, entering the kitchen with nothing but a towel around his waist. ‘I stood on the stairs for 10 minutes waiting for a word to drop but nothing. zilch. nada.’
‘No, you did not. Do not lie to me y/n.’
Dean groaned dramatically, ‘What was that?’
‘We communicated, Deanie.’
‘You blinked and he just shrugged.’
‘It was a meaningful blink. Now, stop bothering her', Logan defended your stance.
'Yeah, that blink and the shrug meant only one thing y'know.'
'And that is?', Dean was clearly so annoyed at this point.
'You're an idiot', and both of you started to laugh.
Winter had settled over Briar and oh boy it was cold. The kind of cold that made your nose pink and your fingers disappear inside oversized sleeves with three layers of insulation.
You and Logan walked back from the library in a comfortable silence.
No music. No conversation.
Just the sound of footsteps crunching through fresh snow.
Walking slowly, halfway, your clutz ass ofcourse had to slip and that is what you did but before you even had the chance to yelp, Logan's warm hand wrapped around your waist. One on your waist, and the other holding your hand for support.
It was steady, familiar, it was him.
You looked down at where his hand rested against your waist, he hadn't even looked at you. He just knew.
‘Mhm’, your mind was too scrambled to reply but he didn't let go.
‘Yeah?’, he replied so softly, it felt as if the ice surrounding you started to melt.
‘You know we're not on ice anymore and I'm not falling.’
‘Then why are you still holding my hand?’
He immediately looked down at your intertwined fingers like he only just realized that he was holding your hand.
‘Oh’, a beat, he smiled sheepishly, ‘Habit’
‘You have weird habits, johnny boy.’
Neither of you let go until you reached your apartment.
A week later. You fell sick like dying of influenza sick (as john had described it) whereas it was just a cold and occasional fever, nothing too serious.
Except Logan treated it like you had one foot in the grave.
And his cuddles. (the most important part, also according to john)
The next day Dean found him on the couch, googling ‘Can people die from sneezing too hard?’ and he did not like the answer.
Dean nearly threw his phone out the window.
As he heard you coming down from upstairs, he bolted from the couch so fast, already waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs with a disappointed mom face.
‘Barely. That reminds me please do not attempt to stop a sneeze by pinching your nose.’
That got you to roll your eyes, ‘You’re so dramatic, I think Dean has finally rubbed off on you.’
He frowned, ‘No, do not compare me to that diva.’
‘You literally checked if I was breathing.’
He just stared at you as if he had been caught red handed.
‘Maybe. You have no proof of that.'
‘I just care about you’, he smiled softly.
‘I know’, you said, matching his smile.
‘No’, he whispered so quietly you almost missed it, ‘I really really care about you.’
You smiled softly, ‘I know.’
But you didn't. Not really in the way he had meant but he stayed quiet giving you a small hug, lifting you to the couch.
A month later, your birthday arrived. Dean was not happy about your decision to not throw a massive party this year but was quiet because of the earful he got from Logan a day before.
So here you were, in the hockey house, surrounded by the people you love and just a happy little moment. Everyone got you gifts.
Garrett got you a mug that said ‘Emotionally Expensive’
Dean got you fuzzy socks.
Tucker made you a big jar of homemade pickles as per your request.
Logan just stood there quietly. No gift in hand but you knew he would show up at your door after everyone would settle back into their rooms. You two just got each other, there was no doubt Logan would've gone out of his way to get you something and you were excited for when it would just be the two of you.
As per tradition, Logan showed up at your door, a tiny box in his hand, a loving smile on his face, looking so adorable stood at your door.
‘Stop acting adorable, it's not a good look on you, idiot.’
You laughed and pulled him into your room. He gave you a hug and you honestly forgot the world around you. Wrapped in his arms, head pressed against his chest, listening to his calming heartbeat that was all you needed after a long day. The two of you stood there wrapped around each other for so long, neither of you wanting to break the hug.
Logan cleared his throat, kissing your forehead, ‘Happy birthday stupid. Start acting your age now.’
He handed you the tiny box he bought with him. Inside was a silver keychain. Nothing fancy.
Just a tiny hockey stick, engraved with the words ‘home is wherever you laugh’
You stared at it, ‘It's beautiful, Logie.’
He rubbed the back of his neck, ‘I remembered you said once that you lose your keys all the time. So, the keychain made sense.’
‘You said it in April, I think?’
‘You remember what I said in April?’, you said looking up at him with big doe eyes.
He just shrugged as if it was no big deal.
‘You remember weird things’, you said smiling so brightly it nearly knocked the air from his lungs.
Then you hugged him, a bone-crushing hug as one would describe it.
Your lips grazed his ear, making him shiver, you whispered in his ear, ‘So lucky you're my best friend.’
He hugged you back, but his smile never reached his eyes, ‘yeah’.
One evening you found yourself sitting on the kitchen counter while Logan made grilled cheese sandwiches and soup for dinner.
‘You know,’ you said, ‘everyone always talks.’
‘Yeah? That's what people do baby?’, he said, focused on prepping sandwiches.
‘They think we're weird.’
‘Nooo like’, you smiled, ‘they think we're too attached.’
He flipped the sandwich, ‘Mhmm and?’, he nodded.
He looked over his shoulder, ‘What don't you get?’
‘I don't know’, you shrugged.
"It just’, you stopped, searching for the correct words to put your feelings into words, ‘feels easier with you.’
‘I never have to explain what I'm thinking, you somehow already know.’
‘I don't have to pretend I'm okay, you don't make me feel like I'm too much. You just’, your smile was impossibly soft, ‘..get me.’
John had to look away because if he looked at you any longer, he was going to say everything he had been holding back.
You found out. Almost by accident, but also intentional.
You were at Briar's rink, waiting for practice to end so that you and Logan would leave for dinner together. He was still on the ice and you sat alone in the stands, watching him act like an absolute ice beast acing practice, giving him a big smile and a thumbs up whenever he scored.
Garrett wandered over towards you, taking a seat next to you he said, ‘You know, I don't think I've ever seen someone love another person the way Logan loves you.’
You laughed, ‘Very funny, Garrett.’
‘I’m 100% serious, y/n. Hell I don't even think Hannah and I are on that level yet.'
You just kept staring at Logan in the rink, the way he kept glancing towards you, every chance he got.
Garrett continued sighing, ‘No, I mean, he LOVES you, he would never say it but he does.’
Your smile slowly disappeared, ‘What?’
The rink suddenly felt impossibly quiet, ‘No’ you shook your head at him as if Garrett grew two heads.
Garrett looked genuinely confused, ‘You didn't know?
Everything replayed. The hoodies. The coffee. The birthday gift. His lap. His heartbeat. The way he always looked at you, like you were the first sunrise after a lifetime of darkness.
Your chest tightened, ‘Oh. Oh fuck.’
you shook your head violently, gathering your stuff from the bench, ‘I.. I uh I'm gonna go.’ and then you rushed out the gate, forgetting dinner plans, not even looking at Logan, head filled with so many thoughts, it felt like it would explode. You felt as if all the emotions you had were present all at the same time and you couldn't bear to handle it, so you just left, you couldn't even look at him.
After practice ended, Logan came out of the locker room, looking for you in the hallway, expecting you to be waiting in your usual spot, but you weren't there. Instead he saw Garrett standing there with a guilty look on his face.
Immediately he was taking out his phone and calling you. He knew something had happened without even talking to Garrett, he just knew.
‘Logan, I didn't mean to freak her out, I just thought she knew. At this point the whole campus knows.’, Garrett said, putting his hand on John's shoulder.
‘Fuck’ was all Logan said as he rushed out the door towards his truck. He kept calling you, texting you, you even turned off your location and now he was freaking the fuck out.
He rushed back to the hockey house thinking you would be in your room but that was also empty. Now, he was freaking out even more.
He was physically exhausted from practice and now he felt mentally exhausted. He had no idea where you were, if you were safe or not, he didn't even know if you felt the same way and that scared him to the core. What if you wanted to end the friendship completely? What would he do without you?
He flopped on his bed, head buried in his pillow which suspiciously smelt like your shampoo, suddenly he felt as if was going to cry and he did. Unsure of what was about to come. He let his body do its thing and fell asleep hugging his pillow that smelled like you.
That night, you came home around 11pm and the first thing you did was knock at Logan's door.
He opened it wearing sweatpants and messy hair.
He sighed with relief, immediately gathering you in his arms, burying his face into your neck, ‘Fuck, where were you? Are you okay? How did you get home?’
‘Y/n? Is everything okay? What happened?’
You looked at him, really looked at him, properly.
The worried rigid posture that immediately relaxed when he saw that you were okay.
The way he leaned against the doorway because he always tried to seem relaxed around you.
You whispered, ‘Can I ask you something? Will you be honest with me?’
‘Why didn't you tell me?’
He took a sharp breath as his expression fell, he sighed, ‘Garrett?’
Silence. Long. Painfully long.
Finally he spoke, almost whispering, ‘Yeah.’
He laughed quietly, ‘I honestly couldn't tell you.’
‘Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me before?’
His shoulders dropped, ‘I didn't want to lose you. You're all I have.’
Your heart cracked, ‘You idiot.’
‘You absolute stinking idiot.’
‘I've been called worse.’
‘You carried all this around for years?’
He smiled sadly, ‘Worth it. It was worth not losing you.’
‘No, John’, his name sounded different.
He looked away, ‘You don't have to say anything. I'm okay and you don't owe me any feelings. I just. I just didn't want things to change between us.’, he said, running a hand through his already messy hair.
Your eyes filled with tears, ‘They already have tho.’
His face fell completely, "Oh. Y/n please just..’
‘No’, you said, stepping closer to him, ‘They changed because now I know.’
You walked right in front of him, taking his face in your hands, making him look at you, ‘And I can't stop thinking about every little thing you've ever done for me.’
‘I thought,’ you laughed through tears, ‘I genuinely thought you were just being you, being THE John Logan.’
‘You also happened to be hopelessly in love with me.’
He just stared at you as if his life depended on what you were going to say next. As if everything could end at this very moment.
You stared at him and then suddenly a laugh bubbles out of you, through the tears.
He blinked, ‘What's so funny about this?’
‘I cannot believe’, you said shaking your head at the thought.
‘I thought you were naturally this nice.’
‘I am.’, he looked almost offended.
‘I am! Well, for you, I am.’
‘You literally googled whether sneezing could kill me!’
‘It could've! Brain aneurysm is no joke y/n.’
You laughed harder and he couldn't help but smile.
God, how he loved that laugh.
Your mind wouldn't stop replaying Garrett's words. He loves you.
Then every memory came back differently. Softer.
The way he always waited outside your classroom.
How he would be sending you a text ‘Do you need a chauffeur?’ every night if you were out late.
How he would notice you getting overwhelmed before you even realized it yourself.
How he always knew when you needed jokes and when you just needed someone to sit beside you. No fixing. No talking. Just staying.
It hit you all at once. No one had ever understood you the way John Logan did.
Not because he tried. Because he simply just did. Your hands were on his cheeks and he was fully leaning into your touch, grateful to have you there, in front of him.
He had thought of this moment countless times, how it would be if he told you, he had imagined all the worst and best case scenarios, and then, you pulled his face towards you, to the point where your noses were touching.
Very softly. Very briefly.
And when you pulled away, John Logan forgot how oxygen worked.
You smiled, ‘That's all you have to say?’
‘I've imagined that kiss approximately nine thousand times. I think I deserve a proper one.’
You laughed and then kissed him again. A bit longer this time, with more hunger, his hands found your waist like they had always belonged there and when you both finally pulled back, out of breath, he rested his forehead against yours.
You grinned widely, ‘I think we've accidentally been dating for about three years now Logie'.
He laughed, ‘That's a fair assumption.’
‘You've practically been my boyfriend.’
‘Frequently, because you don't feed yourself and that's just unhealthy baby.’
‘Whenever possible. It's a win-win situation.’
‘You know my coffee order.’
‘Extra caramel, two pumps of hazelnut and some cocoa powder.'
‘The blue fuzzy one you stole from me.’
‘How to Train Your Dragon.’
‘You know everything huh. So obsessed with me.’
He smiled, ‘I've been paying attention.’
Your eyes softened so much they almost hurt him, ‘You really have John.’
He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, ‘I'll keep paying attention.’
You leaned in again this time with more intensity, more passion, as if he would disappear any second, your nose brushing his in a lingering kiss.
‘I spent so much time thinking love was supposed to be loud’, You smiled through watery eyes, ‘Big gestures, butterflies in the stomach, fireworks in the background, instead’, you laughed quietly, ‘it was someone noticing when I hadn't eaten, it's was someone remembering every little thing i forgot, it was someone who knew what I needed even before I did.’, you reached for his hand, taking his hand in yours, you said, ‘Nobody has ever understood me the way you do, nobody.’
His eyes closed, like he had waited years to hear those words from your mouth.
Smiling against his lips, you said, ‘I guess nobody gets me like you do’ and kissed him again. As you broke apart from the kiss, he kissed you again, holding you as close as possible, one hand on your cheek, the other one your waist.
Logan smiled the kind of smile that reached every broken part of him, ‘Fuck baby, I've waited for years for this, I'm kissing you every chance I get.’
You giggled, ‘You've earned that, Logie'.
‘I really have baby’, he stole another kiss, ‘I'm about to collect a lot of interest.’
Outside his bedroom, Garrett quietly fist bumped Dean. Both of them grinning like Cheshire Cats.
‘Told you’, Garrett smirked
‘It only took them’, Dean checked his watch dramatically, ‘their entire college career.’
From inside the room, they could hear you and Logan laughing.
Finally together. Exactly where they always belonged.
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