I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Sade Olutola
Show & Tell
Mike Driver
AnasAbdin
will byers stan first human second
Keni
NASA
wallacepolsom
Kiana Khansmith
Monterey Bay Aquarium
noise dept.
if i look back, i am lost
Origami Around
trying on a metaphor
JVL
almost home
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
izzy's playlists!
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Hungary
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Ukraine
seen from Singapore
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Australia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Tunisia
seen from United States
@incorrectbobsburgers
Tina: nice pants
Jimmy Jr: oh thanks, they were 50% off!
Tina: I’d like them better if they were 100% off…
Jimmy Jr: the store can’t just give away clothes, Tina
Tina: no I mean-
Jimmy Jr: that’s a terrible business practice
Tina: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?
Louise: Punch him in the stomach.
Then when he doubles over in pain, kiss him
Zeke: Tackle him
Tammy: Dump him
Jimmy Jr: JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN
Louise: Yo! I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts?
Nat: If a crocodile eats your dad, they become your new dad.
Tina: Well, remember when Jimmy Jr made a romantic dinner for me?
Louise: Tina, he microwaved you a pizza.
Louise: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.
Tammy: Norwegia. Is. Not. A. COUNTRY!
Jocelyn: Then where are Norwegian people from!?
Tammy: NORWAY!!
Tina: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.
Bob: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can’t?
Gene: Unpopular opinion, not all dogs are good boys.
Louise: Blocked.
Gene: Sometimes, they’re good girls!
Louise: UNBLOCKED!
Gene: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-
Bob: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!
Louise: Tina, we tried things your way.
Tina: No, we didn't.
Louise: I did it in my head and it didn't work.
*During a game of Hangman*
Bob: Nope, there’s no Q. You lose.
Teddy: Are you kidding me?! You can still add something!
Bob: I already added a belt, four earrings and an extra arm! YOU LOSE!
Gene: Whose turn is it to give the pep-talk?
Tina: Louise
Louise: Fuck shit up out there, but don’t die.
Millie: *wiping away a tear* So inspirational.
Linda: It's alright, we have salt packets.
Linda: Not the ones that snap in half, but sure.
Bob: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.
Tina: an apple a day keeps the doctor away
Louise: an apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough
Tina: I want my kids to have your eyes
Jimmy Jr:… but I need my eyes
Tina: no I mean-
Jimmy Jr: they can’t have my eyes!