incorrect broadway quotes.

[incorrectbroadway]

Jack: That is a nice ass shirt.

Crutchie: Thank you, but, to be honest, its called "pants" not an "ass shirt."

[incorrectbroadway]

James: I'm sorry, Sylvia. It's just that you remind me of my ex-wife.

James: She was a girl too.

[incorrectbroadway]

Jack: Father's death was a tragic accident.

George: So was your birth.

[incorrectbroadway]

Michael: Tell me a story.

Mrs. Du Maurier: Okay. Once upon a time, there was, um... a kitty. She was very little, and she was all alone, nobody wanted her.

Michael: This is a very upsetting story.

[incorrectbroadway]

Mr. Barrie: Mary, it’s really muggy out today.

Mary: If I go outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m disowning you.

Mr. Barrie: [sips coffee from a bowl]

[incorrectbroadway]

Michael: Do you think horses get songs stuck in their head?

George: Oh my god, I don't know? Go to bed, Michael.

[incorrectbroadway]

Peter: So you just go over there, and tell mum you like her. What's the worst that could happen?

Mr. Barrie: She could hear me!

[incorrectbroadway]

Jack: Don't worry. She likes your butt and fancy hair. I know. I read her diary.

George: She thinks it's fancy?

[incorrectbroadway]

Mr. Barrie: Are you guys my new family?

Jack: You have no family, and we are all going to die.

Mr. Barrie: What?

Mrs. Du Maurier: Seriously, what's the MATTER with you?!

[incorrectbroadway]

Mr. Frohman: [hands Mr. Barrie a tissue box] Happy Birthday!

Mr. Barrie: A tissue box..??

Mr. Frohman: You can use it for your tears, the next time I call you a failure!

[incorrectbroadway]

Michael: Look at what I found!

George: I found it.

Michael: Look at what I took credit for finding!

[incorrectbroadway]

Mr. Frohman: I have a killer headache right now.

Elliott: It's only going to get worse.

Mr. Frohman: What?

[incorrectbroadway]

Mrs. Du Maurier: I'll have a vodka on the rocks.

George: Grandmother, it's breakfast time.

Mrs. Du Maurier: *heavy sigh* And a piece of toast.

[incorrectbroadway]

Peter: We are here because there is something wrong with society.

George: See, you’re always saying there’s something wrong with society, but maybe there’s something wrong with you.

Peter: If it’s me, then society made me that way.

[incorrectbroadway]

Link: There's something I need to get off my chest.

Tracy: Is it your shirt? Please say yes.

[incorrectbroadway]

Elphaba: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Glinda: Which one? I can’t do both.

[incorrectbroadway]

James: I've got this completely under control.

Mrs. Du Maurier: Is that why everything is on fire?