Incorrect Charming Family Quotes

A place for all the Charming family hilarity we never got, but deserved.

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Regina: I saved your life! Twice! Snow: Because you put it in danger! Twice!

[justanoutlawfic]

Henry: *eating icing out of a can*

Emma: What are you doing?

Henry: Eating icing.

Emma: Henry, you can't eat icing straight out of the can.

Henry: *lowers the spoon*

Emma: You gotta put it on bread!

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David: *standing at the door, watching Emma and Neal say goodnight after their date*

Emma: Well, I enjoyed our dinner.

Neal: Yes, it was a wonderful date.

Emma: Yes. *shakes his hand and walks inside* He's a lovely young man.

David: Why is your shirt inside out?

Emma: ...Goodnight, Dad.

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Snow, talking about Emma: She's already had sex.

David: You don't know that!

Snow: She has a child!

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Neal: Can I have candy, Dad?

David: You know the rules.

Neal: No candy before dinner?

David: No, those are Mommy's rules. Daddy's rule is you bring me one too.

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Roadtrip with the Charming-Mills family!

Snow: Okay, I made sandwiches. And I got chips and drinks and we're all set!

Emma: I bought Red Vines. You can't have a road trip without Red Vines.

Henry: I brought old family albums, thought that might give us a laugh. What'd you bring Grandpa?

David: Oh, I brought Snow, who brought the food. Regina?

Regina: I brought my hot body.

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Snow: There's nothing linking you to what happened to Merlin.

Emma: His body's in the trunk of my car.

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Regina: N...n...no. My son is not traveling the realms alone. He is still a little boy.

David: He's the third tallest building in Storybrooke.

Regina: Okay, fine! He's a very large little boy.

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Emma: I'm done with dating.

Emma: Like when I swore off pop rocks. They both hurt you on purpose.

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Snow: I'll make tea.

Emma: It's okay. I don't want tea.

Snow: It's not optional.

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Ruth: I'm sorry. It's just, we're meeting Snow's parents for the first time and...and they're academics and intellectuals and I don't want them thinking we're white trash.

David: Well, what color trash do you think they'll believe?

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Snow: When in doubt, I ask myself WWRD?

Regina: What’s that?

Snow: What would Regina do. And then I do the exact opposite.

[incorrectcharmingfamilyquotes]

Snow: When in doubt, I ask myself WWRD?

Regina: What’s that?

Snow: What would Regina do. And then I do the exact opposite.

[incorrectcharmingfamilyquotes]

Killian: Alice, don’t break someone’s heart, they only have one.

Alice: Yes, Papa.

Rumpelstiltskin: Yeah, break their bones. They have 206 of those.

Killian: Rumple, no!

[incorrectcharmingfamilyquotes]

Regina: You saved me, David. I owe you my life.

David: No, thanks. I've seen it and I'm not impressed.

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Emma: I like bad boys.

Neal: Last night, I punched Hook in the face and he fell.

Emma: I like good boys too.

Neal: And then I helped him up.

Emma: But I think bad boys are the best anyway.

Neal: And I pushed him off the Jolly.

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Emma: I wouldn't drink and drive. I'm not a moron.

Snow: You peed on a cop car! How smart is that?