another one

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[balloon-dog]

Francis McQueen my Beloved

[balloon-dog]

Some really quick comics inspired by @incorrect-darkside-detective and @incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

McQueen: I give up; he's impossible.

Dooley: I can’t be impossible; I exist. I think what you meant to say is, 'I give up; he’s improbable.'

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

McQueen: How many "get out of jail free" cards does a guy get?

Dooley: Two, duh. One in Chance, one in Community Chest.

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

Dooley: Remember to water my plants thrice daily, but do not speak to them or they will not shut up. Especially Jim.

McQueen: Jim's the ficus?

Dooley: He is indeed.

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

McQueen: Last time I left you alone with Emily you put her in the microwave.

Dooley: She wanted to see if she'd fit. And you know what? She did!

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

McQueen: Are you sure this water is holy?

Dooley: Yes! I had Pastor Farrelly bless it over the phone!

McQueen: Over the phone?

Dooley: Yes.

McQueen: I don't think it works like that.

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

Raxa: Google "missing foot"? That was your plan?

Dooley: Well, not all of it.

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

Dooley: Before we get started we always like to ask a few preliminary questions. Standard stuff.

Suspect: Okay, fire away.

Dooley: Okay, um. Let's see, one: Did you kill that guy?

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

Dooley: And I jumped off the roof unscathed.

McQueen: You're bleeding from so many places.

Dooley:

Dooley: I’m a little bit scathed.

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

McKing: When I first met you, I did not like you.

McQueen: I’m aware of that.

McKing: But then you and I had some time together.

McQueen: Uh-huh.

McKing: It did not get better.

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

McQueen: I'm still not convinced, Dooley. How can you be absolutely certain?

Dooley: It's relatively easy, Detective. I decided to be and therefore I am. Socrates said that.

McQueen: No, that was Descartes.

Dooley: That was the cologne we wore in high school.

McQueen: That was Drakkar Noir.

Dooley: No, that's a wine.

McQueen: That's pinot noir.

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

McQueen: We didn't do anything wrong; we didn't break any laws. Oh, no! Oh, no! What-- What did you do, Dooley?

Dooley: Nothing. It's just that laws keep changing. It's getting very challenging to keep up with them all. For example, did you know that it is now illegal to give a possum a perm?

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

Dooley: You can talk all you want, but facts and logic will win out this time.

McQueen: Facts and logic are in the corner of the guy who thinks he's going to get his face melted off?

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

McQueen: That rock is sprayed with arterial red!

Dooley: Maybe it's roadkill. Taste it.

McQueen: What is up with that? Every time I cut myself you were like "taste it, lick it, it'll make it feel better."

Dooley: It will. Taste it.

McQueen: It's not my blood!

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

Dooley: First the stick, then the carrot.

McQueen: You don't even know what that means.

Dooley: Leave me alone.

[incorrectdarksidedetectivequotes]

McQueen: We find the mystery lover, we find her.

Dooley: Why don’t I ever get to say things like that?