Usui: Kimishita, you're not going to like this, but right now Shiba here is being the mature one. Ooshiba: It's true. I'm being super mature, you big, dumb, hairy baby twat.
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@incorrectdaysquotes
Usui: Kimishita, you're not going to like this, but right now Shiba here is being the mature one. Ooshiba: It's true. I'm being super mature, you big, dumb, hairy baby twat.
Kimishita: How do you sleep at night?
Ooshiba: On silk sheets, rolling naked in money.
Nakazawa: I shouldn’t have called you an idiot.
Kazama: Which time?
Kazama: I wonder if my teacher will remember me.
Nakazawa: You were only off school for two weeks. She still knows who you are.
Kazama: I wonder if she still has the nunchucks she took from me.
Nakazawa: She might wish she could forget.
Kurusu: Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?
Nitobe: Are you insinuating that regular pine needles aren’t spicy???
Kurusu: Regular pine needles are regular.
Nitobe: Not by rosemary standards.
Kurusu: …Have you eaten pine needles?
Nitobe: We’ve been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if I’ve eaten pine needles or not?
Kurusu: I mean, I’m pretty sure you have, but I don’t want to assume.
Nitobe: Of course I’ve eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best.
Kurusu: Are they…spicy?
Nitobe: You know, I’d love to tell you but I’m pretty unclear about what marks the difference between “spice” and “strong-tasting plant that isn’t considered a spice”.
Kurusu: I’ll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out.
Nitobe: Okay, but it only counts if they’re PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree.
Kurusu: I’m going to eat every needle-like leaf I see.
Nitobe: Please Don’t Do That.
Kurusu: Needle-Like Leaf Roulette!
Haibara: When are you free?
Kimishita: I’m forever imprisoned in my own personal hell so I’m never truly ‘free’. But I don’t really have plans all next week except for Monday.
Hoshina: I expected better from you.
Taira: Well, that was your fault. I have nothing to do with that.
Usui: Mizuki, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room in the fridge.
Mizuki: No—no, thank you.
Haibara: Well, Usui, you did it. He’s finally full.
Kazama: Fun statistical fact: Cows are about 300 times more likely to kill you than coyotes.
Nitobe: [horrified]
Ubukata, sighing: Minor sidenote to statistical fact: If it was common for people to keep several hundred coyotes on their property and routinely chase them into a corral and handle them, this statistic would be different.
Why does everyone want to find meaning in their lives? What happened to just getting through the fucking day?
Nakazawa Katsutoshi
Nakazawa: How old do you think I am?
Kazama: I've done speed dating, not carbon dating.
Kimishita: [bakes cookies for a bake sale]
Ooshiba: Can I have one?
Kimishita: You have to pay.
Ooshiba: I'm your teammate.
Kimishita: That's why I'm charging double.
Sayuri: I like your scarf.
Ubukata: It’s strong enough to strangle a man.
Ubukata: Okay, the first thing people do in a situation like this is panic.
Tsukushi: Well, I think I'm doing it in the right order.
Taira: You can trust me.
Himura: I have been in forests less shady than you.
Kimishita: I've gotta admit, that moosehead towel rack goes great in the bathroom. Really goes well with the snakeskin shower curtain.
Tooru, into the camera: We're BACHELORS, baby.
Ooshiba: Am I in the wrong here?
Kimishita: Yes.
Ooshiba: Who asked you?