*sends wife across atlantic in shipping crate*

incorrect quotes based on the era of protestant reformation in england, probably focusing mostly from around 1520-1538 or so, and also probably focusing mostly on parliament. my main is kingjjleroy, so follows/messages will be from there.

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Thomas More: Hey. This is not the time to blame Cromwell.

Cromwell: Finally, thank you.

More: There will be time to blame Cromwell later, when this all is resolved.

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Bishop Fisher: Octopi could hug four people simultaneously, because the gods blessed them with the ability. However, they don't even hug one person, because they have made a covenant with the devils.

Parishioner: *raises hand* Where is our regular pastor?

Bishop Fisher: In a better place. Sit down immediately.

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Thomas More: This could work.

Bishop Fisher: All we need is a bad cop.

More: I can do bad cop.

Fisher: I’ve seen you do mildly irritated cop.

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Anne Boleyn: You are the most jealous man I know.

Henry VIII: You know other men?

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Norfolk: I want Suffolk to envy my status as First Peer of the Realm, but he’s got those muscles! 

Norfolk: Why can’t I have First Peer and muscles and he have nothing?

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Henry VIII: How are we going to get rid of Anne? Brandon, would you like to get your useless ideas out of the way first?

Charles Brandon: Why thank you, your majesty. Off the top of my head I'd go reindeer stampede, astronaut attack, barbed wire chandelier, poisonous sushi-

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I like Jane. Is it wrong to keep seeing her? Depends who you ask. I mean, if you ask my wife, or take a random poll...yeah, it's wrong.

Henry VIII

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Henry VIII: There’s a red-light district. I wonder why Anne was hanging around down there.

Cromwell: Sex, your majesty?

Henry: Uh, not right now, Thomas. 

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Sir Thomas More: Do you think this a game?

Cromwell: No, I think Jenga is a game.

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More: If there’s going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Fisher: Of course. I can’t flip this table by myself.

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Mary Tudor: Henry gets Anne flowers every day. I wish you’d do that too.

Suffolk:...Okay?

[Next day]

Suffolk: *gives Anne flowers*

Anne Boleyn: What?

Suffolk: Yeah, I don’t get it either.

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Duke of Norfolk: I didn’t come here to be insulted.

Suffolk: Oh? Where do you usually go?

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Stephen Gardiner: I’m sorry for breaking your glasses.

Audley: That’s fine, I’ve seen enough.

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Cromwell: I’ll admit, I’ve done a lot of things in my life I’m not proud of.

Cromwell: No, no, that’s not true. I’m proud of most of them.

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Audley: Thomas, what is the dead body doing on the floor?

Cromwell: Not much, honestly.

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Burgess for Maldon: You knew my father?

William Warham: Yes, I did. Remarkable man.

Warham: Flammable.

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Norfolk:  One day, I hope I'm the guy who walks into a room and all eyes are on him.

Suffolk: The trick is to get a really big hat and scream.