Things Golden Child Have Actually Said

Goldeness or Goldenneth? •open for submission•

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Jaeseok: How tall are you?

Seungmin: Height is a social construct.

Jaeseok: Okay, so you're short

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Jaehyun: “Mothman used to be Caterpillarman”

Jaehyun: You fool. Mothman isn’t a real moth man. That’s just the name is humans gave him since we couldn’t comprehend his true shape and nature.

Joochan: But we do comprehend his shape: handsome

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Joochan: Check out this live feed of some penguins

Donghyun: Don’t you have an essay due tomorrow?

Joochan: Shut your mouth I’m busy

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Jibeom: I’ve conquered my fear of ghosts!

Donghyun: That’s the spirit.

Jibeom: Oh fuck where

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Tag: You’re right, I’m not gonna fight them.

Tag: EXCEPT THAT I AM

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Jaeseok: Alright Jibeom, your word is-

Jibeom: Jibeom, J, I, E, B, U, M, Jibeom.

Jaeseok: No, that’s not your word, that’s your name.

Jaeseok: And you misspelled it.

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Tag: Damn

Tag: im watching this scary movie and it given me shivers

Daeyeol: what movie

Tag: cars 2

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Y: Here you go Jaeseok, a nice hot cup of coffee.

Jaeseok: It’s cold.

Y: A nice cup of coffee.

Jaeseok: It’s horrible.

Y: A cup of coffee

Jaeseok: I’m not even sure it’s coffee.

Y: Cup.

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Jangjun, about Bomin: So he told me, "How fucking dare you? You're such an evil bitch. How spiteful and jealous are you? How fucking dare you, Jangjun. You crossed a major line with me. That shit is not okay, you dumb, evil little fucking troll. You have no idea how much I hate you. You're disgusting."

Jangjun: All I did was wake him up.

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Daeyeol: Scrappy doo has been found dead in miami

Bomin: Is he okay?

Daeyeol: Yeah but he died

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Youngtaek: Seungmin talks in his sleep, it’s so adorable.

Seungmin: (fast asleep) Fight me you bitch… square up… I think the fuck not!

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Jibeom: I am 41 cheetos tall

Y: Why did you think you needed to measure yourself in Cheetos?

Jibeom: We were out of doritos

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Daeyeol: What if mayonnaise came in cans

Jangjun: That would suck cuz you can't microwave metal

Jaeseok: Good morning to everyone except these two people

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Jibeom: You got a name or can I call you mine?

Jaehyun: Excuse me? Did you just use a pickup line on me?

Jibeom: *internally* Wait is he upset should I apologize?

Jibeom: Uhhh yeah???

Jaehyun:

Jaehyun: Alright cool well I guess I don't have a name

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Youngtaek, to Jangjun: Sure, you’re verified on Twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of God?

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Jangjun: You know Seungmin can be real aggressive, so its important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching

Jangjun: [blows an airhorn at Seungmin] GET FUCKED