Incorrect Greek Gods

emma || she/her || 19 || certified loser || personal tumblr: @emmarealm || check out my carrd!

[incorrectgreekgods]

hi!!!

it's me, emma, bringing a friendly reminder

i'm in NO WAY a scholar of classics or an expert of greek mythology. i've been reading greek myths for over ten years, but i am not an expert. i adore answering people's questions about my opinions, etc, and i will ALWAYS be happy to answer any questions you have about the mythology, but please remember this is coming from personal research. i do a lot of that, and *not to toot my own horn or anything* i'm good at research- But, i didn't major in classics or anything. this is a hobby of mine, a really important one- but a hobby nonetheless!

so if you still want to send me questions after this, it'd make my day! but i don't want to feel like i'm 'catfishing' anyone or anything. you can find my personal tumblr at @emmarealm <3

[incorrectgreekgods]

reader, i am a classics major now.

[mothermara]

what if orpheus was butch and she unclipped her carabiner and held it out behind her and then eurydice clipped it onto her belt loop and then orpheus didnt have to look back because she could hear eurydice jingle jangling behind her. follow me for more dyke solutions to famous tragic literature

[valtsv]

this oedipal ain't shit

[valtsv]

hang on a second why does my wife look kind of like my... no. surely not.

[valtsv]

gouged out my eyes 👍

[thoodleoo]

manic pixie dream triumvir

[malpractique]

tomorrow julius caesar will have been dead for 2069 slutty, slutty years

[thoodleoo]

what reading some modern adaptations of the iliad feels like

[thoodleoo]

the concept of venus/juno toxic yuri in the aeneid is really good just on its own but it becomes insanely funny when you imagine that the entire time they're on their manipulation grindset 5D lesbian chess game aeneas is out there on the mediterranean sea like

[incorrectgreekgods]

Greek Gods as John Mulaney Quotes

Inspired by the glorious @incorrect-game-of-thrones​ !!!

Some may seem not as accurate (some were harder than others!) but I did my best! Also some may seem rude-ish, and I promise they’re not my opinions! I’m going off of how these gods are portrayed in most myths.

Zeus

Poseidon

Hades

Persephone

Demeter

Hera

Hestia

Athena

Hermes

Apollo

Artemis

Aphrodite

Hephaestus

Ares

Dionysus

[incorrectgreekgods]

Hera: How high are you right now?

Dionysus, slowly: How what?

Hera: High?

Dionysus: Hello.

[thoodleoo]

trojan war WRAPPED

you spent 10 YEARS at war

overall, you killed 1685 trojan soldiers. that's almost 17 hecatombs worth!

aristeia moment! your best day of fighting was in year 9, where you sent 23 souls of warriors to hades in a single battle

you were saved by hera 4 times

you exchanged armor with 2 trojan warriors. zeus xenios smiles upon you!

check out your top 5 commanders:

nestor

odysseus

agamemnon

menelaus

ajax the greater

[incorrectgreekgods]

Artemis: You can trust me! Let's not forget who pulled you out of the river when we were six. Apollo: Let's not forget who pushed me in.

[thoodleoo]

not true i asked him and he said if you don't give him 5 stars he's going to cause the eruption of mt. vesuvius 2

[caztiel]

pliny the elder sailing towards pompeii: oobh i got pliny of time

[plutoarttv]

prometheus: hot take,

the greek gods: no give that back

[thoodleoo]

hey so uh the consuls asked me to talk to you about your divination techniques and uh. no yeah i get that you've been a great asset and successfully predicted the favor of the gods over the proposal to construct a new aqueduct. that was great, you're great. just uh. well we were wondering if maybe you could speed it up a little bit next time- yes i know the omens can't be rushed. but you did take like 30 minutes to read the entrails? and uh. to be perfectly honest we were all a little creeped out by the way you kept saying things like "oh that's a SLIPPERY one" and "come to papa little kidney." no no we're not asking you to switch over to augury, you're a great haruspex, really. if you could just not dig around in the entrails with a look of unbridled glee on your face quite as much that would be great. thanks.

[epicfirestormer]

Hi I'm new here, has anyone made this joke yet

[benvoolioo]

hey girl, um, we were having a bacchanal and we kinda tore your boyfriend to shreds. yeah, ripped his head clean off. sorry about that :/