Mike: Did you bring Eddie ?
Nancy , gesturing to Gareth : No, but I brought the next best thing.
Mike: Gareth ? The next best thing would be Max.
Gareth : I would be offended, but Max is freakishly strong.

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@incorrecthawkins
Mike: Did you bring Eddie ?
Nancy , gesturing to Gareth : No, but I brought the next best thing.
Mike: Gareth ? The next best thing would be Max.
Gareth : I would be offended, but Max is freakishly strong.
Lucas: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!
Dustin: Bet you I can!
Nancy : *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*
Mike: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it.
Gareth: ...what happened?
Mike: I made a VERY bad mistake.
Eddie : What time is it?
Jonathan: I don’t know, pass me that saxaphone and we’ll find out
Jonathan: *BLASTS the saxaphone*
Nancy: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXAPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Jonathan: It’s 2 am
Dustin: I got an idea!
Steve: Does it involve breaking the law?
Dustin: By now don’t you think that’s a given?
Steve: I was just trying to be optimistic.
Dustin: Don’t bother.
Gareth: I don’t mean to be rude—
Eddie : Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.
*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*
Lucas: I will not let you down.
Dustin: Sounds fun.
El: ok
Jonathan: No, I'm fucking not.
Mike: Do I have to be?
Will: Please god, I am so tired.
Robin: Are you sure this is safe?
Eddie : Safer than Flintstone vitamin gummies in a bottle.
Eddie : Keep twisting, junior! All you’re gonna get is clicks.
Dustin: I’m serious! They’re watching me! They’ve even got an agent following me! Don’t you believe me?
Max: Look, it’s not that I don’t believe you… It’s that I don’t believe you and I don’t care.
Nancy : There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.
Eddie : I photosynthesize with this.
Will: Self-care is suppressing all your trauma until it comes back and hits you in the face with the force of 7 very large trucks.
Robin: So... what’s goin’ on?
Mike: You want the long version or the short version?
Robin, hesitantly: The short one, I guess?
Mike: Shit’s fucked.
Robin: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.
Max: You know what your problem is?
El: I only have one?
Nancy: You remind me of the ocean.
Max: Because I'm deep and mysterious?
Nancy: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.
Robin: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles?
Eddie : I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.
Max: What if mayonnaise came in cans?
Robin: Well, that would suck because you can't microwave metal.
Dustin: Good morning to everyone except these two people.
Steve: Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Robin: *sighs* That’s true…
Robin: But to negatives make a positive!!!