Incorrect Henry Danger Quotes

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Charlotte: I regret buying you a blender.

Jasper, drinking toast: Why?

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Schwoz: I just ended a five year relationship.

Charlotte: Oh, are you okay?

Schwoz: I’m fine, it wasn’t my relationship.

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Jeff: I ain’t talking.

Ray, sharpening a knife: I have ways to make people talk.

*cuts a piece of cake*

Jeff: Can I have some?

Ray: Cake is for talkers.

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Charlotte: *watching the news* Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium.

Ray: *covered in ink* Maybe the squid was being a douche.

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Thank you, but your services will not be needed tonight, resealable tab on the Oreo’s package.

Henry, probably

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Henry: Hey do you want to hear a chemistry joke?

Charlotte:…

Henry:…do you?

Charlotte: I’m sorry did you want a reaction?

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Schwoz: *ordering cake over the phone*

Shop Employee: and what would you like your cake to say?

Schwoz: *covering the phone to look at the others*  Do we want a talking cake?

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I haven't killed myself yet, so lets see how much further we can go.

-ray at some point

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If women were flies, I’d be a big rotten boar carcass.

-ray at some point, probably

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Jasper: Hey Henry, how do you want your coffee?

Henry: As dark and bitter as my soul.

Jasper: … So a white chocolate latte then?

Henry: Yes please.

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It’s all fun and games until a kid dies. Then it’s hilarious!

-Drex at some point

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Jasper: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?

Piper: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.

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Henry: *has a problem*

Ray: I have an idea.

Henry: No murder.

Ray: I no longer have an idea.

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You look stupid. Everyone else thinks you look stupid. God thinks you look stupid. Stop.

-Trent overunder during the spelling bee with captain man and dr. Minyak

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Henry, after being bitten by a werewolf: Think my parents will notice?

Jasper: Knowing your parents? Nah.

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Piper: This year, I lost my dear frenemy Jasper.

Jasper: (offscreen) Quit telling everyone I'm dead!

Piper: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

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Ray: It’s time for plan B.

Henry: We have a plan B?

Ray: No, but it’s time for one.