Incorrect Hetalia Quotes

A collection of quotes that were definitely (not) said by the Hetalia characters. Submissions and requests welcome! DA RULES for Requests

[incorrecthetaliaquotes]

Can I make a suggestion that doesn't involve violence, or is this the wrong crowd?

HWS Iceland

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France:We need a diversion. I say England gets naked. Russia:No. France:I could get naked. The Rest of The Allies:NO!!!

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i feel uncomfortable around short ppl what if they lick my balls

HWS Denmark

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Romano: And I never back down from a fight. N. Italy: Yeah you do! You do all the time! Romano: Well... yeah, but I'm not backing down from this one!

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Spain: See that ball of fire? That's the sun. It goes by many names: Apollo's Lantern, day moon, Old Blazey. The important thing is never to touch it. Chibi Romano: I know what the sun is! Spain: Yes, now you do.

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vendetta means... vendetta!

America, looking inside of an Italian-English dictionary

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Prussia: Oh, is this the bit where you gloat before my inevitable death? Russia: Yes.

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I love humans. Always seeing patterns in things that aren't there.

HWS Russia

[juno-infernal]

[covered in blood, with tears in my eyes] I AM VERY YOUNG AND I AM LEARNING HOW TO LIVE

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-Young Germany

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Bulgaria: Why would you give a knife to Moldova?!

Romania, shrugging: He felt unsafe.

Bulgaria: Now I feel unsafe!

Romania: I’m sorry…

Romania: Would you like a knife?

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I honestly just love sleep so much. Like you just close your eyes and you're gone bitch. Brain logged the fuck off. Powerful.

Greece

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Italy: I’ve made it another year. Romano: Happy birthday. Germany: You didn’t say happy birthday to me on mine. Romano: I wasn’t happy you got to see another birthday.

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Kugelmugel: Why does Hungary wear makeup? Austria: To look pretty. Kugelmugel: But she’s already pretty. Austria: Aww. Kugelmugel: Austria, you should wear makeup.

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Prussia: If I had shape-shifting powers I would abuse the hell out of them. Like if I'm arguing with someone, I'd turn into their dead relative. Hungary: Genius. Austria: *Booking them both more therapy sessions*

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Monaco: If a beautiful woman disagrees with me, I will immediately change my views. I have no principles. Belarus: Well, maybe you should have principles. Monaco: You’re right, maybe I should.

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I think someone should've tried domesticating bears 10,000 years ago. We really missed the mark with that. Could be cuddled up with a bear right now but whatever.

Russia

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Germany: I'm financially stable, in shape, and my family is healthy. Thank god! Romano: I don't get why you openly brag about being financially stable, do you want to be robbed? Because I will rob you.