⚾️ MAJOR-ly Incorrect Quotes ⚾️

A blog of somehow incorrect quotes featuring your favorite baseball idiots from Major! (Aside: Shigeharu is alive in this universe because I said so.)

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Kaoru: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much. 

Ayane: Oh, you’ve been? 

Kaoru: Once. In Monopoly.

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Alice: How did you break your leg? 

Goro: Do you see those porch stairs? 

Alice: Yes. 

Goro: I didn't. 

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Fujii: Seriously, I have no idea what to do.  Fujii: Oh, wait! Yahoo! Answers.

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Momoko: I can’t believe I let you go to America! You can’t make it a week as an adult without me.

Goro: I can make it a week! 

Momoko: Really? What’s your social security number? 

Goro: *long pause*

Goro: 5?

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Alice: Words ending in ‘-ie’ just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie—

Sanders: Eyy, homie! 

Roy: But then there's cootie... 

Keane: Die.

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Fujii: Smart girls are so attractive. Educate me on something I don't know! 

Tashiro: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus. 

Fujii: Stop.

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Shigeno, texting Gibson: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater… 

Gibson’s phone, auto-replying: I’m driving right now—I’ll get back to you later. 

*later* 

Gibson, texting back: Fuck you.

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Goro: Hey, Mom, are you free on Friday? Like around eight? 

Momoko: Yes?

Goro: And you, Uncle Shigeno? 

Shigeno: Uh, yeah.

Goro: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Momoko: Did he just—

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Coach Ando: So what are your plans for the future?

Komori: Lunch.

Coach Ando: No, like long-term.

Komori: Oh… um, dinner?

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Kaoru, unpeeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.

Taiga: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Fujii: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. 

Miho: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. 

Fujii: Not when you’re playing with Tashiro, it’s not. He puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Goro: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog…

Mayumura: What’s updog?

Goro: Toshi! Get in here, I told you I could do it!

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Goro: Hey, can I get a sip of that water? 

Junior: It’s not water. 

Goro: Vodka! I like your style—

Junior: It’s vinegar. 

Goro: …What? 

Junior: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Kaoru: Well, remember when Goro made a romantic dinner for me? 

Komori: Kaoru, he microwaved you a pizza.

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Kusakabe: Hey Gibson, do you have any hobbies? 

Gibson: Swimming.

Kusakabe: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to—

Gibson: In a pool of self-hatred and regret.

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Momoko: Goro got into a fight.

Shigeno: That’s bad.

Shigeno:

Shigeno: Did he win?

[incorrectmajorquotes]

Komori: Is something burning? 

Sawamura, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you. 

Komori: Sawamura, the toaster is literally on fire!