don't let your dreams be memes

incorrect quotes for my rp characters & npcs. i should post character profiles at some point....

[incorrectmemes]

Alyona: What do I get? Smaragdus: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death. Alyona: Not sure about the last one. Smaragdus: It won't be your death. Alyona: Let me get my coat.

[incorrectmemes]

Smaragdus: I realize this may seem hypocritical coming from me but there are ways to deal with problems other than 'stab it with a sword' or 'set it on fire'. Alyona: Okay, so I should use poison. Smaragdus: No, that's not what I meant. Alyona, nodding sagely: You're right, poison's for cowards. I'll use my fists and punch 'em in the face. Smaragdus: *deep sighing*

[incorrectmemes]

Alyona: What you're feeling are pangs of guilt. Smaragdus: What? Alyona: Guilt. Oh, boy. Okay, how am I gonna explain this one? Uh, guilt is an emotion that. . .okay. Jumping ahead. An emotion is something that--- Smaragdus: Hey, hey, hey. Come on. I know what guilt is. It's one of those touchy-feely words that people throw around that don't really mean anything. You know, like "maternal" and "addiction".

[incorrectmemes]

Lazzaro: Your greatest strength and your greatest weakness is the same thing: You see the good in everyone. You look at me and know things about my life even those closest to me will never know. You have ripped me open and shown me my heart. I don't know what to do with that. I don't know how to feel. Alyona:. . . Alyona: Wow, that quote is so deep you can bury everyone Smaragdus has ever killed in it. Lazzaro: Do you always have to make stupid jokes? Alyona: May I offer some tasteless commentary and unwanted advice instead?

[incorrectmemes]

Alyona: Come on. How bad could it be?

Lazzaro: Down there resides the sum of all necromantic transgressions. The unperceivable howl of ten thousand million unfed ghosts who will hear each echoed footstep as defilement. They would not even be satisfied if they tore you apart. The space beyond that door is profoundly haunted in ways I cannot say, and by means you won't understand; and you may die by violence, or you may simply lose your soul.

Alyona: Knock it off. We're not in chapel now.

Lazzaro: It's not one of mine, Alyona. I'm repeating exactly -- to the word -- what Sallos said to me.

Alyona: Sallos said that the facility was chocka with ghosts and you might die?

Lazzaro: Correct.

Alyona: Surprise, my tenebrous overlord! 'Ghosts and you might die' is my middle name.

[incorrectmemes]

Smaragdus: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.

Alyona: I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction.

[incorrectmemes]

Lazzaro: From my perspective, immortality and eternal youth aren't things a proper human aims for.

Smaragdus: So you're saying a proper human wants to die?

[incorrectmemes]

Alyona: Is a thousand a lot?

Lazzaro: Depends on the context. Specks of dust? No. Murders? Yes.

[grifalinas]

My favorite form of redemption arc is “I hate that I have morals now”

[grifalinas]

Like “I realized that I was in the wrong and now I will work hard to atone” is good and all, but “how dare you infect me with morals” will always be so much more entertaining

[gh0sthoodie]

That moment the former baddie starts to walk away from some bad situation, almost gets out, and then just stops, curses, and turns around to go help?

*chef’s kiss* delicious

[grifalinas]

This one gets it

[aesthetic-uni]

And like when they say “I’m only helping you because of [selfish reason that’s not truly the reason]”

[grifalinas]

“I assure you, my motives are completely selfish” they yell at the group as they fling themself between a giant fuck off monster and an unconscious guy they don’t even like

[harvestspriteirl]

“Only I get to kill you! That’s it! That’s the only reason! I’m healing you and tending to your wounds because I HATE YOU!” 

[enbies-and-felonies]

“Imagine if I let THEM kill you?!?! How HUMILIATING that would be???? NO one would take me seriously!! THAT’S the only reason I’m doing this for you!!!”

[grifalinas]

“Listen, I hate everyone here, you’re all terrible and if I could never see you again that’d make my week. BUT. Given that my previous employer wants to kill the world, and the world happens to be where I keep my stuff, and YOU GUYS are the ones who can stop that, I’m sticking with you for now. But it’s not because I like you or anything! The only thing I would feel at your death is annoyance at the inconvenience!”

[catgoblinchelly]

instead of redemption arcs, how about vegeta arcs. like how a character is now living perhaps with the heroes and interacting with them casually and is sorta part of the group.

They’re still a asshole, they haven’t changed in the slightest personality wise and maybe even don’t care about anything they’ve done in the past let alone feel remorse. They just hang around the heroes now for whatever reason. 

[incorrectmemes]

Lazzaro: When was the last time you had a good cry?

Alyona: About 15, 20 minutes ago. Why?

Lazzaro: Really? That's recent?

Alyona, voice cracking: Got a fucking problem with that?

[incorrectmemes]

Alyona: Hey Lucio, I’ve got an idea for how to solve this.

Lucio, pulling out a shotgun: Yeah?

Alyona: Wh- No! That’s not the idea, Luc!

[incorrectmemes]

Alyona: *Wears dark grey*

Sallos: Ah, I see we're breaking out the spring colors.

[incorrectmemes]

Osyth entering Alyona's room: Smaragdus did it again.

Alyona: Peace disturbance?

Osyth: What no-

Alyona: Arson..?

Osyth: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-

Alyona: Uh....Attempted murder?

Osyth: NO, HE ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FUCK-

[incorrectmemes]

Alyona: I have a bad feeling about this.

Lucio: I've had enough of your bad feelings.

Alyona: Yeah, but this feeling is--

Lucio: Stop feeling it then!

[incorrectmemes]

Alyona: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?

Lucio, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

[incorrectmemes]

Alyona: You saved me! Why?

Lazzaro: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.