Incorrect Portal Quotes

Things that may or may not have been said by the characters of the Portal series. [under construction]

[teamxynergy]

Chell: GLaDOS blames me for her death.

Wheatley: Why?

Chell: Probably because I killed her.

[rachell-redacted]

[24-7-testing]

Doug: So, uh, could I ask you a question?

Chell: Yes?

Doug: Why are we lying on the ground?

Chell: Well, you got dizzy from the paint fumes and fell, hit your head, and blacked out, so I lied down next to you so everyone would think we were hanging out.

Doug: … thanks.

[rachell-redacted]

Like, really dizzy.

[incorrectportalquotes-archive]

Source: Tumblr

GLaDOS: *Holding a wrapped present.* You promise you didn’t get me a bird again, right? AEGIS, Wheatley and Chell, from a distance: Just open it.

[incorrectportalquotes-archive]

Doug: Tell her about the birds and the bees.

GLaDOS, to Chell: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate.

[incorrectportalquotes-archive]

Chell: Wheatley, what's the one thing I said we can NOT do?

Wheatley: ...Raise GLaDOS from the dead

Chell: And what did you do?

Wheatley: ...Raise GLaDOS from the dead...

[incorrectportalquotes-archive]

Caroline: People always ask me how I pronounce my name

Caroline: Is it Caro-LINE or Caro-LYN?

Caroline: I always tell them the same thing:

Caroline: How dare you speak to me

[incorrectportalquotes-archive]

Wheatley: Chell, I'm afraid I've been thinking.

Chell: A dangerous pastime.

Wheatley: I know.

[incorrectportalquotes-archive]

GLaDOS: When Caroline is deleted I'm going to rewrite the programming of all my turrets so they can perform an opera

Chell: Why would you do that?

GLaDOS: She's like 85% of my impulse control.

[jumpsuitedmonster-deactivated20]

I’m so sorry 

[portal-secret-santa]

We here at PSS are proud to announce the return of the Portal Secret Santa event for the 2016 winter holiday season! The application is now open to the general public. You may submit applications anytime between now and Saturday, December 10th, 2016. Please don’t procrastinate on getting them in, because the form will shut off at 12 am on the 11th and you’ll no longer be able to participate.

And now, a quick Q&A.

Q: What is Portal Secret Santa?

A: Portal Secret Santa is a holiday gift-giving event that takes place within the Portal community. You’re randomly assigned to make a gift for someone else who wants to participate, and in return, someone is randomly assigned to make a gift for you. So it’s kinda like a chain of Portal gift-giving. And any Portal fan, regardless of how old or new you are to the fandom, is welcome to participate.

Q: What kinds of gifts does this event require?

A: Anything you can make. It could be a drawing/painting, a fict, a song, a sculpture, a plush, whatever. The only restriction is that it’s gotta be something YOU made. Knowing that you put your very own time and effort into the gift is part of what makes it special for the recipient. c:

Q: When will I know who I’m making a present for?

A: It all depends on how fast we can work out pairings. The project started a bit late this year, but ideally, we’re planning on having the prompts out to you by December 17th.

Q: When and how do we give our gifts?

A: Gifts will be exchanged starting on December 24th up until January 1st. See the full FAQ for complete details.

If you have any further questions, please check out our FAQ!

[incorrectportalquotes-archive]

Rattmann: I pursued physics because it places a safe, sturdy set of boundaries on reality--

Aperture: WHO WANTS TO BUILD A FUCKING WORMHOLE YE A H

[incorrectportalquotes-archive]

this is my portal gun, hes Yellow and i love him

mel probably

[incorrectportalquotes-archive]

Have you played Portal Stories: Mel?

Yep! Feel free to submit quotes including characters from the mod!

[incorrectportalquotes-archive]

Wheatley: Can you pass the salt?

Chell: *throws GLaDOS across the table*

[incorrectportalquotes-archive]

Wheatley: Chell, I'm afraid I've been thinking.

Chell: A dangerous pastime.

Wheatley: I know.

[incorrectportalquotes-archive]

GLaDOS: You look pretty.

Chell: What?

GLaDOS: I said you look shitty.

[incorrectportalquotes-archive]

Wheatley: Hey, Chell? Do spiders have webbed feet? Chell: No, ducks have webbed feet. Wheatley: Ducks can spin webs? Chell: Yeah, haven't you seen a duck wrap up a loaf of bread? Then suck all of the guts out with its fangs? Wheatley: Bread has guts? Chell: Yeah, they just take 'em all out before they sell it. Wheatley: Wow! You're really smart, Chell! Chell: Wheatley, you know I'm joking, right? Wheatley: Of course! Everybody knows spiders have webbed feet!

Undertale (Papyrus and Undyne phone call)