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made sum harry styles lockscreens

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eddie: rich, are you okay?

richie, face flat on the floor: i’m having some me time.

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richie: ah yes, baguettes, the snakes of bread. we'll take two of your freshest yeasty eels, good sir

baker: ... what?

eddie: just ignore him

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eddie: when I was small-

richie: *laughs*

eddie: what?

richie: “was.”

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[losers playing uno]

richie: *picks up a card*

ben: what does it say?

richie: tell eddie you don’t like him or draw 25

eddie: rich, it’s okay it’s just a game you do-

richie: *already aggressively picking up cards*

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bev: how was the honeymoon?

eddie: richie got drunk and ripped up our marriage certificate, saying “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”

eddie: i love him

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richie: any doctor here please help!

doctor: what's going on

richie: he’s having an asthma attack!

doctor: well, i'm a doctor in philosophy

richie: please he's going to die

doctor: but did he ever truly live

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eddie: and what do we say when life disappoints us?

richie: called it.

eddie: richie no-

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stan: you need a job

richie: i have a job

stan: calling eddie cute every five seconds is not a job, richie

richie: you’re right

richie: it’s a profession and i excel at it

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richie: *nudging eddie awake at 4am* do you like me? be honest

eddie: i married you, of course i like you

richie: but did you marry me as a friend, or like, a husband? it’s not very clear

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bill: why is richie carrying a plant with him everywhere he goes?

eddie: he asked a stupid question and stan made him carry a plant around for the oxygen he wasted

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[losers groupchat]

eddie: s[he] be[lie]ve[d] 😔

richie: sbeve 😔

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richie: *walking out* i’m leaving, see you later dipshit!

eddie: bye richie

richie: *stops walking* wait what? you’re not gonna insult me back?

richie: are you mad at me? 🥺

[incorrectreddiee]

eddie: richie texted me ‘your adorable’ so i texted him back and said ‘no, YOU’RE adorable’

stan: and?

eddie: now we’re dating

eddie: we’ve been on six dates... all i did was point out a typo, but i like him so i’m not gonna say anything

[incorrectreddiee]

eddie: could you not stand so close? you’re making me claustrophobic

richie: what does claustrophobic mean?

bev: it means he’s afraid of santa claus

eddie: no it doesn’t.

richie: HO HO HO

bev: STOP IT RICHIE YOU’RE SCARING HIM

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receptionist: the doctor will see you now

richie: *putting on a camouflage jacket* i very much doubt that