IncorrectSnapeQuotes

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Character analysis videos: “Severus Snape was cold, intelligent and very controlled and reserved when it came to his emotions.”

Snape in the dungeons ✨at 3 am✨when everyone else is asleep:

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Anyone think about how absolutely CHAOTIC it would have been if Dumbledore sent Snape to fetch Harry on his 11th birthday and not Hagrid.

I need those messy Petunia and Snape interactions!

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*Snape interviewing for a job at Hogwarts*

Dumbledore: so, what do you expect an average day for you to look like?

Snape: a series of poor life choices.

Dumbledore: Severus my boy, I meant as a member of the faculty.

Snape: yes.

[omegasgrin]

“but he bullied CHILDREN”

yes but have you considered that he looked like this doing it

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*talking about Harry*

Snape: is there no way we can get rid of him?

Mcgonagall: not without cause Severus.

Snape: I have cause, it is be-cause, I hate him.

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Mcgonagall: so you’ve never been to therapy?

Snape: no, didn’t need it.

Mcgonagall: not even when Lily died?

Snape: no, but that was sad.

Mcgonagall: or when you finally got out of your abusive childhood home only to join the dark lord and suffer at his displeasure and watch a lot of people be tortured and murdered in front of you.

Snape: oh yeah I forgot about that.

Mcgonagall: or how about when you constantly risk your life to save a child you claim you don’t even like because Albus says he has some great 13 step plan.

Snape: you know, this sounds like it bothers you way more than it bothers me. Maybe you should go to therapy.

[poseidons-getting-milk]

Half-Blood Prince is like:

Hermione: I wish Ron liked me back

Ron: I wish Hermione liked me back

Lavender: I wish Ron liked me back

Ginny: I wish Harry liked me back

Dean: I wish Ginny liked me back

Seamus: I wish dean liked me back

Harry: I wish Ginny liked me back

Draco: The only way to save myself and my family is to kill Dumbledore which will end the rest of the entire wizarding world, Snape and Harry won’t get off my back, and i have no idea how to fix the magic cabinet but if i fail GrayBack will kill me and my mother

Snape: I wish Lilly liked me back

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Harry: Sectumsempra

Snape: the one time he fucking listens.

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Snape: I’m the most attractive child my parents have

Sirius: you’re an only child?

Snape: exactly, can you say the same?

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I'm convinced Snape secretly uses slang terms for his own personal enjoyment when not around kids.

"just yeet some lace wing flies here"

"Smells perfect, good soup "

"ah Gucci, one of these idiots can compare and contrast."

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Snapes therapist: so what would you say is your biggest personality flaw?

Snape: Harry Potter.

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An argument can be made for James

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Snapes therapist: so what would you say is your biggest personality flaw?

Snape: Harry Potter.

[ijustssnappe]

Snape: The path to inner peace begins with four words,

Snape: not my fucking problem.

[snaddy-issues]

Voldemort couldn't actually fly. Snape was flying and carrying voldy on his chest in one of those baby holsters

[ijustssnappe]

McGonagall: Why do you like being out in the rain?

Dumbledore: I like splashing in the puddles and rain is just fun.

Snape: I’m trying to get hit by lightning.

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I think my favourite thing about Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is the immense foreshadowing in the choir scene.

Them singing a witches chant from the muggle play ‘Macbeth’ which is literally all about the betrayal of a friend that lead to the death a good friend and leader. Yet even better, going with this.

Macbeth= Peter Pettigrew

King Duncan= James Potter

Which means, who talked/persuaded Macbeth to do it? Lady Macbeth. AND who talked persuaded Pettigrew to sell out his friends? Voldemort. Sooo….

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Part of me wonders how the ministry orchestrated this before apparating…

“Right, huddle huddle, let’s make a circle, come on, we are on a time crunch.”

“So when are we going, on three or after three?

“On three.”

“1…2..-

“Wait, on three as in, 1,2,go or 1,2,3 and then go”

“No okay, on three-