Skinner: I once had a haircut I deeply regret.
Bart: Is it the one you have now?
Skinner: No.
Bart: It should be
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Misplaced Lens Cap

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will byers stan first human second
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@incorrectspringfieldquotes
Skinner: I once had a haircut I deeply regret.
Bart: Is it the one you have now?
Skinner: No.
Bart: It should be
Marge: What did I tell you two about lying?
Bart and Lisa: It only works on dad.
Homer: *Kicks open a door* MARGE. PUPPETS!
Lisa: And so begins another wacky adventure that will test the encumbrance limits of my sanity.
Bart: Eh.. You're bluffing, you don't want to do that.
Sideshow Bob: Is that a risk you're willing to take?
Bart: Uh... yeah? That's usually what someone means when they say "you're bluffing" dude.
Edna, curious: What's something you've always wanted to try in bed?
Hoover, exhausted: Getting a full 8 hours of sleep.
Marge, while making a sandwich for Homer: This is going to fix EVERYTHING.
Marge: *sees contact named "Love of My Life" in Homer’s phone*
Marge: Aww.
Marge: Wait, this isn't my number.
Marge: *calls the number*
Squeaky Voiced Teen: This is Krusty Burger. Hello Mr. Simpson, would you like the usual?
Skinner: You like bad boys, right?
Edna: Yeah, so?
Skinner: Not trying to show off, but when the GPS said turn left, I turned right.
Edna:
Edna: You got lost, didn't you?
Skinner: ...Yeah.
Sideshow Bob: It's murder o'clock and I'm always on time.
Milhouse: So that's my plan.
Bart: Do you take constructive
criticism? I don't want to sound mean.
Milhouse: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Bart: It sucks!
Milhouse: …That's not really constructive.
Skinner, begrudgingly: Edna was right.
Edna: Louder!
Skinner: I do not love this side of you.
Marge: My daughter's teacher just sent me a glowing email about what a pleasure she is in the classroom, and I'm half tempted to forward it to my son's teacher, just so I can prove the problem isn't me.
Skinner: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?
Bart: Well, how would you like me to mock you? I take requests.
Moe: Is there anyone here who's actually straight?
Lenny: *Tentatively raises hand*
Carl: *Pulls his hand back down*
Homer: I want to be a cat. Jobless. Educationless. Useless. There to be pretty and soft.
Hoover: Things are going really well for me since I changed the meaning of “really well” to the opposite of what it means in my head.
Milhouse: My parents might have raised an emotionally vacant child with massive insecurities, but they did not raise a quitter.