Incorrect Valar Quotes

The toddlers of Eru: A.k.a: What happens in Valinor stays in Valinor (nooooooot)

[melkors-4th-silmaril-deactivate]

Fëanor: Lord Namo, I have a complaint!

Namó: Beep, Namó can’t come to the phone right now because he’s dealing with an annoying little elf fëa named Fëanor. Please try back later.

[elf-in-a-mask-deactivated201902]

Vairë and Namo

Vairë can be very grumpy and testy, and that can unnerve some people. This is why she is perfect for Namo. They literally have the same personality.

[elf-in-a-mask-deactivated201902]

Namo: *angry mumbling *

Vairë: *angry mumbling *

Irmo: Awww they’re so cute together!

[slumbering-lore]

Námo: Can we fund the installment of fire extinguishers in Mandos?

Manwë: What happened?

Námo:

Námo, trying his best to ignore the flaming fëa zooming past him: Fëanor happened.

[glorfindel-the-golden-deactivat]

Namo: *sighs* Melkor, why do you insist on being such a nuisance? Is it so hard to just keep your mouth shut and follow my rules?

Melkor: I don’t know Namo, why do you insist on being such a stick in the mud?

[bella-alva-lovat]

Manwë: Well you could have reached out, brother

Manwë: I would have helped you whatever the cost

Melkor: yeah that's rich, really

Melkor: Coming from the lord of chickens

[glorfindel-the-golden-deactivat]

Fëanor: F*** off, Doomsman and leave me to my brooding.

Namo: Mmm, such a temper. It...reminds me of someone else that used to reside here, a long time ago...

Fëanor: *cringes* Oh lovely, so I remind you of Melkor now. Fantastic.

[glorfindel-the-golden-deactivat]

Flirting

Melkor: *sees Mairon at the forge* Say, Mairon, you seem to really like that hammer.

Mairon: *annoyed* I do. It’s my preferred tool.

Melkor: Well, I happen to know someone with an even better...tool. Do you know who that person is?

Mairon: *rolls his eyes, clearly not amused by Melkor’s antics* Who?

Melkor: *swivels his hips* Me.

[gelenka-daria]

Melkor: I was going to donate blood today, but they ask way too many personal questions.

Melkor: Like, “Who’s blood is this”, and, “Where did you get it?”

Melkor: Manwë donates a kidney and is hailed a hero. I donate five and get arrested?

[host-of-chthon]

📌A huge thanks for your participation in my study!📌

Thanks to all your help I have more than reached the number of participants I needed in order to produce statistically sound results and complete my dissertation. Another post concerning my research outcomes will follow in April, when the data analysis will be complete. 

 Again, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for helping me complete this huge step towards my graduation. -Cyanides Herostrates.

[host-of-chthon]

📌Help a psychology student out! Take part in my research!📌

Thanks to your help I have reached 58 participants in total, which means I only need around 20 more to obtain noteworthy results! 

Please help me out and fill in this questionnaire! It will not take more than 10 minutes off your life, but it will be extremely helpful, and I appreciate each and every participant I get!!! 

[givesauronakiss-deactivated2020]

Namo: I am the Doomsman of the Valar! You will fear my judgement!

Irmo: *blows a kiss and waves*

Namo: *goes suddenly red with shyness* Yes. Well. Fear me!

[zealouswerewolfcollector]

Eru: Behold, Men! For I bestow upon ye the gift of free will, so ye may do as ye wish.

Eru:

Eru: But, like, not that.

Eru: *destroys Númenor*

[incorrectvalarquotes]

Mandos: I don't worry about Feanor. He's an intelligent Child and intelligent Children do not invite their doom.

Feanor: *does the thing*

Mandos: ...as I was saying, Feanor is fucked and so is his kin.

[incorrect-angbang]

Valar: Fëanor can we use your gems as light

Fëanor: EW NO FUCK OFF

Melkor: *steals Silmarils*

Fëanor: OBVIOUSLY THE VALAR’S FAULT WHY DO WE EVEN WORSHIP THEM??? WE’RE GONNA GET MY GEMS BACK

Valar:

[spawnofangbang]

Mairon: you have 3 silmarills and an elf asks for one. How many silmarills do you have?

Melkor: 3

Mairon: *rubs temples* Let’s try this again. You have 3 silmirills and an elf forcefully takes one. How many do you have left?

Melkor: 3 and a dead body

[spawnofangbang]

Mairon: you have 3 silmarills and an elf asks for one. How many silmarills do you have?

Melkor: 3

Mairon: *rubs temples* Let’s try this again. You have 3 silmirills and an elf forcefully takes one. How many do you have left?

Melkor: 3 and a dead body

[elf-in-a-mask-deactivated201902]

Manwe: Okay so do we all give Melkor our trust once he gets out of the Halls of Mandos? We all agree he does have the ability to change?

The Other Valar: