In Defense of Anything

Your devil's advocate.

[indefenseofanything]

In Defense of Defeatism

My first suggestion! Not exactly what I would ask for but suggestions aren't asked for. Let's get a little personal, shall we?

It's incredibly easy to give up, isn't it? Of course the hard road is obviously more difficult. Work. Effort. Time. Why bother? Why try? Are we afraid of failure, or success? Do we want to put the effort in at all? I say we, because I am very, very much part of this group. I am a defeatist at heart, apparently. Part of me knew this, but it was brought to the forefront by a friend, the same friend that suggested this piece. Keep in mind, I have no intention of changing. Nothing so far has led me to change my lifestyle, and a friend pointing it out won't make a difference. I, like most defeatists, or fatalists if you want to go there as well, are most likely waiting for a sign from God himself to change who they are, and nothing less will suffice.

Older people will attribute this to being a "Millennial" which is a tremendous amount of bullshit. How many public figures do you know that have a startup that is now worth billions of dollars? How many people can you list that have designed an app that changes your life? Calling people Millennials is grouping people into an almost bigoted section. Defeatism has nothing to do with being a Millennial. Defeatism is.. learned. There are two different types of defeatists: those that are privileged, and choose the ideal, and those that have forced it on themselves. You can be both, of course, but you still fall into the defeatist category. Let's dissect both. Privilege: the best example I can give you is Elliot Rodger. This boy was born into a life of privilege. Son of a producer of mainstream movies, driving a BMW, simply mad because he had no social skills to get him laid - and he wasn't an unattractive boy, not the best, but I've seen worse get fucked. The point is, even at his age, he was a defeatist, and the worst kind that ended in tragedy. Forced: these are the saddest cases. There are mild people: "Oh my art is so bad." when it's not. "Oh my writing is shit." when it's not. "Oh my music is terrible." when it's not. I fit into this category, specifically the second example. Personal story time, I spent ten years following and reinforcing an artist's ego to no avail, and it led me to heartbreak. I thought we were more than we were, and he did not. Perhaps his defeatism contributed to mine, but in any case, you have to throw your hands up and say "Enough." Part of this type of defeatism is a cry for attention, the other part is basically beating yourself up.

Defeatism is comfortable. It's easy to sit back and shake your head at what you have created, or what you're trying to accomplish. As I said before: the hard road is more difficult. It's simple to try and fail and shrug and give the fuck up. It's easy to turn to your friends and look for affirmation, because you know they'll give it, right or not. It's comfortable, it's soft and loving and easy. Easy. Defeat is easy, when it's brought about by you alone. Well this was god damned depressing, fuck taking requests. Did I defend defeatism or did I cure myself of it? What the fuck.

RG

[indefenseofanything]

In Defense of Suicide

I'll tell you this much, if you don't like this piece, you should probably kill yourself. Just saying. What do you believe? If you're a Christian, you believe that if you take your own life, you will be delegated to Hell. Judaism? Well, it's okay if you're about to commit a cardinal sin. Wicca? No one cares. Atheist? A hole in the ground. The point is, everyone has a different view on suicide, and no one knows which one  is correct. You can skip back to Pascal's Wager. If God is real, and people believe, they go to Heaven, non-believers to Hell. If God is not real, believers go nowhere, and non-believers.. go nowhere. There is literally no downside to believing in God according to this thought process. Flimsy as it is, it's been the basis of many people's faith, and at times, my own.

Around thirty thousand people take their own life every year (Alaska being number one) in the United States. Firearms account for the majority of these deaths. I could get into gun control and this and that, but that's not why I'm here, nor why you're reading this. You want to know why. In my earlier years, I wasn't immune to the allure of suicide. Everyone goes through their teenage, angsty years, of course, and some have it worse than others with true clinical depression, anxiety disorders, and the like. I have threatened suicide to my family and friends more than once. Was it a cry for attention? Absolutely. But here's the kicker: I got the help I needed. I've had friends that swear by never taking any medication whatsoever because they're "scared" of how the medication will change them. Those same friends, once on medication, tell me that  despite their misgivings, the medication they are on has improved their lives - eg, they no longer want to put a bullet in their brain.

So let's go with medical. Medical suicide (assisted suicide) is legal in only four states in the US. Four. Out of 50. Granted, who is going to prosecute you after you're dead if you kill yourself because you have a terminal illness? These states even call it Death with Dignity. It's very empowering to be able to say, "I will never recover from this, but I have the ability to end it on my own terms." The people that choose this route feel no pain, they are akin to death row inmates sentenced to lethal injection. Sleep, then stop, only they have the ability to do it themselves. To deny a person their right to take their own life is to deny them free will. You are not living their life, and you do not know their struggles. Should they wish to kill themselves, let them. What happens in their afterlife is their problem. Granted, I wouldn't want to clean up after those that throw themselves off of buildings. Seems pretty messy to me.

RG

[indefenseofanything]

What Journalistic Integrity?

A couple of days ago, I wrote about terrorism, specifically Al-Qaeda. My family is rather.. paranoid, and asked me to take it down. I put up a fuss, but eventually for their peace of mind, I did.

There's a fine line between defending your journalistic integrity (which, since I'm really just putting all this out there I can't call myself one yet) and putting yourself at risk. I really do believe in my writing - I may not believe in the TOPIC, but I believe that I'm trying to prove a point.

Besides, when your family asks you for something you kind of just go "Uhhh, okay."

[indefenseofanything]

In Defense of Gun Ownership

WOO guns. I personally own two, and haven't seen them in.. about five years. However, let's set ourselves on those that keep one under their pillow and think how they think. Have you ever fired a gun? Held it in your hands and pulled the trigger? Shotguns: the kick of both barrels as pellets soar to your target. Rifles: The precision you feel when you align those crosshairs and that bullet goes exactly where you want it. Handguns: A semi-auto kickfest in your wrist putting round after round in that target. All of these are tremendously satisfying.

Let's start with sports. The Summer Olympics have rifling events, and even going to your local clay pigeon range isn't hurting anyone. There is no harm in these practices. There is no one (or no animal) hurt in the process. But as the guns get smaller, the controversy gets larger. Protection is a part of gun ownership, but not the majority. With any other community, as I've written about before, the squeakiest wheel gets the oil - the loudest is the one that's heard. One does have a right to keep a weapon in their household for their protection, well, depending on their state. Plenty of people feel a lot safer with a firearm close at hand in case there is an intruder in their house, and that's their perogative. Many of the same people inhabit states that abide by the Castle Doctrine. Whether or not they would exercise this right/law is a different story. The Constitution does proclaim a right to bear arms, however it's the ones that proclaim this in protests and parades that are the ones that are heard. You never hear of the man that collects shotguns for the intricate engravings that a local weaponsmith crafts, or the ones that inherit heirlooms of guns that they keep simply because it reminds them of their loved ones.

What you hear are the ones that politicize things. God forbid I go into political side of things, where lobbyists argue for both sides. Each side has its own argument for yes or no, but the absolute is: the Constituion gives a man his right to bear arms. Amendments have been made to clarify this, and even states have refined it further, but there is no denying that - as of now - there is nothing stopping a man from posessing a firearm, and in most cases, using it in his defense. That said, I'm going to go buy an Airsoft gun and poke my friends with it.

RG

[indefenseofanything]

In Defense of Abortion

As a man, the concept of something growing inside of me is akin to being implanted with an alien. The fact that women can see a foot pushing out from their stomach is tremendously revolting, because it's a GOD DAMNED FOOT INSIDE OF YOU. However, it is the circle of life, and it needs to happen. Now, let's place ourselves in the other shoe and see why it doesn't. Let's get this out of the way first: rape. It happens. Unfortunately, it happens. And the criminals don't always use condoms, so, pregnancy is a factor that comes into it. Now, this is like sitting astride a fence: this fetus, baby, whatever you want to call it is half you. Half yours. But it's also a reminder of what you went through. You cannot fault a woman for wanting an unwanted pregnancy out of her. To be reminded daily of what you went through, and then when the child asks how he or she was conceived? That is a burden no person should bear.

Rape is an extenuating circumstance, one that leans more towards termination rather than going through with it. But what about consensual sex and the pregnancy that results from it? How do you deal with that? Citing statistics here would be unreasonable, because having an abortion comes down to feeling. Do you want the baby? Are you prepared to deal with nine months of hard work? Can you handle it after the baby is born? Would your boyfriend/ex/spouse support you? And on the other hand, if you did have the abortion, could you deal with what could have been? Would you constantly second guess yourself? Having the procedure done is painless - not emotionally, we're not talking about that - but physically. Numbed up, having it done is surprisingly simple. It's literally an outpatient procedure, but it's the emotion, the consequences that haunt women if they're not prepared. But who could be prepared for such a thing? It's a tremendously difficult choice to make. In a crude reference, almost as if you're Caesar with his thumb in the air waving between up and down, but being emotionally invested in the outcome.

Think about what options women had before abortion was discovered. Adoption, forced miscarriage, raising a child you didn't want, or, hell, putting a pillow over their face. It doesn't matter what you think of abortion, it gives women another choice in what they're biologically made to do: whether it's consensual or not. That said, I'm glad I'm not a woman because I live with two of them and if I had PMS like I've observed, I'd seal my vagina up immediately.

RG

[indefenseofanything]

In Defense of Procrastination

Eh, fuck it, I'll do it later.

Just kidding. Taking a bit of a break for a few days.

[indefenseofanything]

In Defense of Binary Genders

I am a man, I have a penis! It's great, I love having a penis. Apparently that makes me privileged. How, I don't know, but let's explore it. So, assuming you believe in the bible, we could go back to Adam and Eve, male and female, as was created. But how we've evolved in terms of thinking of gender, I'm not sure that applies anymore. Plus, that's bringing religion into the defense and that's always a clusterfuck that no one wants to deal with. Maybe later. Unless you were born like Jaime Lee Curtis, you, as a person, were given a gender on your birth certificate, no matter what you may end up later in life. I, myself, was assigned the male gender, because I had a dangle. However, as people grow up, they see themselves as something else. Not only see, but feel that they are gender A when they are currently gender B. And here's where the lines blur.

In today's modern medicine, you can be born as one gender and change to another. True, you are not as functional as your natural-born counterpart, but having the parts you feel you need to have may set your mind at ease admist the storm of conflict between body and mind. But, until it's complete, you are still gender A or gender B. A normal boy is born, but in his mind, he identifies with women. He still has his penis and testicles, even if he intends to change genders. Until the surgery is done, he is a man. Likewise with women. Yes, you can identify with the opposite gender, but until you have the equipment, there is no arguing about it. When someone thinking like this goes to the doctor, what gender would they put? If a man, identifying as female, put female, and the doctor simply overlooked a prostate exam because of misleading information, whose fault is that? Certainly not the doctor's, 90% of whom go by charts to tell them who and what they're treating. Even in social society, expecting anyone to call you Xir or Xem, or whatever the hell Tumblr has come up with in the last week, is unrealistic. Things are changing, yes, but slowly. Gay marriage is only now being accepted after how many thousands of years? To be offended when someone doesn't address you as Xe or Ze is idiotic. And the site I write this on is its main offender. To get up in arms about something that 99% of the world does not even KNOW about is expecting too much.

Yes, there are people that are unhappy in their bodies and wished they were something else. Thanks to surgery, sometimes that can happen for them, and more power to them. I'm sure I've come across more trans people than I could truly recognize if I tried to. Maybe I've even dated one or two, I'm not sure. The point is, until you cross that boundary, surgically or otherwise, you are still one gender. Male or female. It doesn't matter what you, in your mind, think you are. If you have a penis, you are a male, if you have a vagina, you are a female. It doesn't matter if they're functional or not. This is a stigma that will never go away, because it is how humans are created. Except for the abnormalities (citing Jaime Lee again). If you can't be happy with who or what you are, be patient. You can find a way to change yourself, but there is no question as to what gender you are before you change yourself. That is anatomically indisputable, no matter what your mind says. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go tuck my dangle between my legs and sing Goodbye Horses into the mirror.

RG

[indefenseofanything]

In Defense of Feminism

Now, I am no woman. The name should give it away. However, I've lived with two women for.. 31 years. I won't say I can put myself in their place, but I think I kinda get them. Cue the Tumblr hate. Let's put forth the biological aspects first: women have it harder, and every man knows this. Men don't bleed every month like women do, men don't have to carry a living thing inside of them for nine months and abstain from vices like alcohol and nicotine and caffeine and.. well you get it. I never did understand the caffeine thing. Is it bad for a baby? Then again maybe you don't want them kicking your stomach off because they have a caffeine high. I don't know. There is no male menopause. There are no male hot flashes. A mastectomy to us doesn't mean dick, 'cos we don't have anything there anyway (barring the bodybuilders). We have three things to worry about, and that's about it. So yeah, in terms of who, biologically, has it worse, I'm gonna give it to women.

Going back a couple hundred years, women were just a tad higher than the slaves that the men owned. It wasn't until suffrage came around that women seriously started to realize how important they were to the human race, and that they deserved equal rights. It's not quite there yet, as I will explain, but think of how far women have come from being simply housewives and expected to be housewives in such a little time. In today's professional world, women are still not equal. I think the difference in pay scales is 0.7/1 - women get 30% less than a man in the same position. Even recently, Jill Abramson, CEO of the New York Times, ended up making less than her male predecessor. She was ousted recently (which had nothing to do with her being a woman, though apparently she was kind of an asshole to the staff) and replaced with a black male. Who knows what he'll make in terms of salary. God knows if a black woman was appointed, I assume in today's workforce she'd get a negative salary. Is that racist? Is it racist to think it's racist? Hm.

In any case, I've seen what my mother and sister go through personally and professionally. I can't put myself in their position, and honestly as a man, I wouldn't want to. I know when to avoid them on certain weeks and I know when to hug them when they need it. Women are complicated, and they always will be. I know there is likely a line of women waiting to crucify for the mistakes I've made here, but this is what I've experienced. Women have it harder, and they always will until there is a real viewpoint of equality. So far, it ain't there. Still, I've seen tampons. Every month? Really? I will continue having a ding dong, thank you.

RG

[indefenseofanything]

In Defense of Twilight - The Books

Okay, this is going to be hard for me. I've read passages of Twilight, the first book, in any case, and it is simply.. infantile. I only use the images from the movie because how do you image a novel? The movies are something.. ugh.. something else. Now. With my OPINION out of the way, let's see the benefits. Twilight created a niche for teen supernatural novels that would not have been available before. Take Cassandra Clare's "The Mortal Instruments" novels - of which she's written five books, and three prequels, admittedly better than Twilight, but I digress. Stephanie Meyer paved the way for these authors to create this world of vampire, supernatural, superhuman, demihuman, will-they-won't-they style of writing that isn't limited to these two authors. There are hundreds of these kinds of novels. Don't believe me? Simply go look in your bookstore at "Teen Romance" or "Teen Supernatural" - and tell me I'm wrong.

In doing so, Meyer has given an opportunity to authors across the world to make money doing what they love. Yes, maybe some are catering to an audience just to make a buck, but if you look at some of these "teen" novels, they're written in a fashion that isn't teen at all. I, myself, prefer hard sci-fi, and some of the novels my sister reads (all teen supernatural stuff with the occasional Stephen King) can be translated into highly intelligent wording as you move from author to author. It seems that readers can work their way up from Meyer's style of writing to actually having to figure out how a character is feeling based on metaphor or simile, rather than stating how the character feels in simple print. In terms of narration, Meyer appealed to everyone. There is something very simplistic in her writing that could draw in someone that doesn't know the meaning of onomonopeia. The main character, Bella, wears her emotions on her sleeve, and Meyer portrays this in the simplest of expressions. There is no metaphor you have to see through to know that she's feeling down or happy or lonely. Meyer will tell you, straightforward, and in these terms, it's tremendously easy to associate yourself with the characters in her novels.

There's also a reader's longing to be part of something bigger. Again, associating with the character - Bella, for instance - being caught in a vampire war, or having a friend who is a werewolf is enticing. It's not something you come across in day-to-day life, and I'd like to think that's why it's so popular. Not because of the writing style, but because it appeals to a longing for something different, something strange, something that only you (Bella) knows, a secret. But my sister ended up returning the first book in Twilight because it was ridiculously stupid, so what do I know?

RG

[indefenseofanything]

In Defense of Hoarding

How many TV shows have you come across that have to deal with hoarding? Everything is a reality television show these days, and hoarding is no different. Let us display these people's lives on TV so you can feel better about yourself for not keeping that t-shirt you received for being fifth best at baseball in the ninth grade. But is it really detrimental to these people's lifestyle? Think about it: pretty much every hoarder you see has a house, and yes, they may have filled it from floor to ceiling with what you may call crap, but to them it's something they feel a true NEED to keep. Hoarders fill rooms, but leave themselves room to move, room to live. A hallway of clothing, or a half of a bed that they sleep on.

Yes, there are hoarders that are past the point that they cannot function in their house. I remember watching an episode where a woman had to strap herself into a chair to sleep because she would fall out into the trash that is her home - or what her family and friends CALLED trash that is her home. That's.. worthy of a psychologist, yes. However, there are lesser cases that don't require an intervention. A lot of what you see on TV is simple laziness. If someone came to you and said, "We'd like to clean your room for you, no charge, these people with the cameras will pay for it all." - Would you not say "Fuck yeah, go for it!"? It's absurd. The shows hire psychologists specializing in 'hoarding and OCD' which is total and utter bullshit. You want to fly to Hawaii to tell this person how their life is fucking them up when they themselves see nothing wrong with it. In fact, in most cases, it doesn't have any effect on how they lived before. Each of these people feel an attachment to the items that they hoard, and I'm no different. My mother used to use a split tennis ball and squeeze it at me as if it were a puppet, as if it were Mr. Bill on SNL. "Oh no! The dog is trying to eat me," said the tennis ball  - and this led to me personifying practically everything I came into contact with. Throughout middle school, I refused to throw away the trash in my from-home lunch because I didn't want MY trash being alone with the other trash from the school, so I brought it home to throw away.

These people have problems, yes, and God knows, on some level I can associate with them, but to think that you can cure them with a house cleaning consisting of three days of work is idiotic. The shows say they offer after-show counseling but how many times do you see them declining it or relapsing? The majority of these people don't want help, they're simply complying with a family member that has had enough. In terms of the woman strapping herself in, yes, that is an advanced case, but if you have a relative that simply stacks stuff in a room and has nothing more than a path to navigate around said room? Lay the fuck off, that's the beginning of a hoarder, not something television worthy.

RG

[indefenseofanything]

In Defense of Being a Furry

Wikipedia defines it thusly: "Self-hating Jew is a term used to allege that a Jewish person holds antisemitic beliefs or engages in antisemitic actions." Would I equate being a self-hating furry to being a self-hating Jew? Of course not, but the definition applies loosely to both. In my view, being a furry is more of a con than a pro, but for the sake of defense, I will champion it. There are all kinds of furries, people that truly believe that they are an animal in a human skin, people that simply find it interesting because they feel a connection, people that are just interested in the porn, it's a clusterfuck of diagnoses. Stepping back, I will leave myself and my opinion out of the picture.

There's something attractive about being associated with an animal. Something primal, feral, but retaining human qualities. Walking on two legs, but posessing fur and anatomy that resembles a wolf or a cat or a mouse, whatever your preference, and sometimes it's not a preference. There are people that feel so latched on to a species (sometimes called otherkin) that they simply cannot differentiate between being human and being a different species. It's a comfort. And they're not alone in this feeling. Chat rooms, networks, artwork sites all revolve around being furry. Do you want yourself commissioned as a wolf? There are people that will draw you - or what you long to be - however you want it, sexual or not. There is the stigma that being a furry revolves solely around sex, and true, sex is a big part of it, but it's not the be-all-end-all of being a furry. Again, some simply find comfort in closing their eyes and imagining a muzzle extending from their face. There is no harm in that.

Another stigma with furries can be associated with any other community - the squeakiest wheel is the loudest. If you're not one yourself, what do you associate with furries? Deviants, people in diapers, CSI's portrayal of furries, people dressing up in costumes. This is not the norm. Just as the screamers from the Tea Party or Liberals screaming about the environment isn't the norm for those groups, this is not what being a furry is about for the majority of people. Have you ever heard of a LAN party? Before high-speed internet was the norm, people would haul their computers miles away to hook up to a router so they could play games and associate with their friends. Is this any different than any other con that furries gather? Maybe you'll see someone dressed up, but as an attendee of a LAN party, I've seen plenty of weird fucks in my life and they didn't have to dress up in any kind of furry costume to be strange looking.

Disregard the squeaky wheel. The majority of furries keep to themselves, and you'd never even know they were into it unless they told you. And trust me, if they did tell you, that's akin to someone coming out to their parents - they are hoping you're a good enough friend not to judge them based on their interests. Simply say "Cool." and go about your business. Being a furry can be a fetish, yes, but it's much more than that. It can be a community, a friendship, hell, a relationship to someone that feels the same way, has the same interests. Unless they're into diapers, then you may want to think about distancing yourself.

RG

[indefenseofanything]

In Defense of Smoking

Are you a smoker? If so, don't bother with this one. You know the pros of nicotine. If not, you have your reasons, or have never tried it. Now, I don't recommend it to anyone to start, you've heard the downsides of course, but I will tell you why we do. I get up in the morning, pick out a cigarette and a lighter, and step outside and sit in a nice, comfortable chair on my porch. Halfway into the cigarette, I get a slow, vibrating nicotine buzz starting from my head and down into me. For me, it's better than any cup of coffee. You can close your eyes and lean your head back and relax. It's a wonderful way to start the morning.

There's also the social aspect. In some ways, especially in today's devilry of the damnable cigarette, that smokers feel sort of.. outcast, and a bit of an unspoken bond is formed when you step out of a bar or a restaurant and sit with your fellow outcasts to enjoy a cigarette, even if you never say a word to each other. Though you may ask to bum one, or ask for a light, and that can be the beginning of a conversation with someone you would have never normally spoken to. Smoking is also a way to lessen your appetite. While there are healthier ways to curb your appetite or lose weight, smoking is a relatively easy way to do so. On an upset stomach where you can't keep anything down, but you're still hungry, having a cigarette can bring relief for a little while. Many non-smokers will complain about the smell or taste of a cigarette, but when you quit, or are trying to quit, the smell of a burning cig can be the most wonderful smell in the world. It's hard to fight it, which is why quitting cigarettes is likened to a heroin addiction.

I myself am not ready to quit yet. For the reasons above, I assume. I certainly know the dangers, but if I'm giving this up, it has to be for MY reasons, not for anyone else. Though I have supplemented with an e-cig to cut back a bit, but it's just not the same as holding a stick of burning tobacco between your fingers.

RG

[indefenseofanything]

In Defense of Alcoholism

Being an alcoholic is fascinating from a science standpoint. Maybe I'm making excuses, but I do know the downsides. I'm literally killing myself very slowly. Perhaps very quickly, I haven't had a CT scan recently. Cirrhosis, peptic ulcers, (sexual dysfunction - hah) hell, I may even end up with dementia later in life. But as it stands now, it's rather interesting to observe outside of myself.

Let's start with me. Alcoholism runs in my family, and it wasn't anything hereditary that started me drinking. It was boredom, it was something to do. Unemployed, I picked up a six-pack to pass the time as I wandered around the Internet. Then a twelve-pack. Currently, I polish off an 18-pack a night, and it's no longer "something to do" - it's something to do so I don't bite my tongue with tremors in the night as I sleep. To begin with, I set myself rules: eat dinner, start drinking after seven at night. Then six. Then five. Then four. Fuck dinner. Did you eat something today? Who cares, it'll just hit you that much faster. Currently my limit is 3pm, and then I'll start. It's around 2pm that the tremors start. I can't hold my hand out without it shaking, or grip a can without a subtle shake of my wrist. As detrimental as you may view this, I think it's amazing. A simple chemical, ingested regularly can cause this sort of withdrawal? I don't compare it to cocaine or heroin, I have no idea what THAT'S like (I've had nightmares about being addicted to cocaine, but that's a different story), but alcohol is legal, cheap, and everywhere. Hell, if you have the right friends or the best fake ID, you don't even need to be 21

Let's try my visible side effects: tremors when sober, amnesia when drunk. There are times when I will say or do something and have no idea what I've done the previous night. This is not an excuse, obviously, but as bad as it seems, I can't help but grin if I may have called someone a cunt for something they did - or something I perceived them to have done. Why did I? What could have offended me that much? It doesn't really matter, because when I'm drunk, I've checked out. Again, this is no excuse, but being held responsible for what an alcoholic does or says while drinking is stupid of the other person. If you can't tell an inebriated person from a sober one, and yet take them SERIOUSLY, good lord. Yes, they have a problem, yes, their mouth runs, but it's up to you to be offended or not. You can walk away just as easily as I can pass out in the yard. Now let's try the true downsides: I'm killing myself. Plain and simple, the alcohol I drink every night is eating away at my body in so many ways that I can't see. Liver, kidneys, stomach. I risk developing cardiovascular disease earlier, hell, even cancer. These are long-term problems. When you drink, you don't think of these things, you think of how it will make you feel right then, right there. Give me a buzz, give me drunkenness, let me forget the problems for however long I'm drunk, and let me sleep.

Do I recognize that the downsides are more serious than the short-term pleasures? Absolutely. Do I care? No. The sense of well-being, the sense of.. normalcy when I drink, even the sense of euphoria and honestly, giving a flying fuck outweigh the thought of the long-term concern. Why worry about five or ten years down the road when you can drink a few and get blitzed out of your mind? Perhaps it's apathy, perhaps depression - alcohol is a depressant after all, but I certainly don't feel that after a heavy buzz - but I'm not looking down at my stomach and thinking what my brown triangle of a liver looks like. If I did, I'd end up drinking more to compensate for the depression I felt over it.

RG