Strong As I Am

Your name is Equius Zahhak. Death was no end. Life will be no gift to waste. You finally have no limits, and something about that scares you. You're finally free to be you, and something about that dares you. An Equius RP blog, now archived: 2012 - 2018 Thank you for writing with me! -Seamus

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Moonie, the bestest, whose Eq I was intimidated by way back in the day.

We should talk more! That goes for you and everybody. Message me whenever, feel free to say hi.

Actually getting a little choked up (Haw Haw Haw) over here. Y’all stop being so nice.

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Goodbye Horses

Well, folks. I guess you know what time it is. I’m wrapping it up. Closing up shop. Hittin’ the hay.

Officially, that is. Considering how sparse my activity has been here for well over a year, the blog was pretty much closed already. I’d hardly blame you if you thought I’d just gotten bored of the whole thing and left.

That wouldn’t be so, but as the years have gone on, my interests have definitely changed. I fell in and out and in and out of love with Homestuck, with tumblr, with RP, with the internet. The kind of free time I have now and the way I like to spend it is vastly different than it was six years ago.

Six years, can you believe that? I really can’t. I know only a few of you have been here with me that long. I know only a few of you really know me at all. I’ve stayed very private over the years; only some of my close IRL friends know I do this, and I’ve never really made my name or anything easily available. 

Well, here’s some info about me: I started this blog in 2012, right as I was finishing high school, age 18 going on 19. I read all of Homestuck during the big pause before 11/11/11, and was so excited by its return that I made this.

I was a big dorky guy starting to realize that he didn’t fit in too good. Starting to think I was only surface deep because I was good at jokes but couldn’t much relate to anybody. Starting to worry that my solid life plans were really just fantasies.

In 2012 I was a lonely weirdo who couldn’t start conversations, could only keep his ridiculous temper in check by staying silent, could only work out the things he was feeling by tormenting this sweaty alien ghost. I had an undiagnosed mood disorder and a misanthropic streak and a feeling that if I could just find the one person who had wronged me, whoever he was, I could fix all my problems by knocking him the hell out.

Is it any wonder I liked Equius so much? This was the first fictional character I’d ever seen, ever, that felt 100% me. I loved him and his weird hang-ups. Where everyone saw a joke or a weirdo, I saw something tragic. The kid had fallen hard, and he was just begging for redemption. I tried not to let my weird hang-ups bleed through here, but sometimes they did, and it was ugly. I’m sorry for that.

Now I’m 24, four months from 25. In that six years I made a bunch of friends--my best, @meddlingfashionista who’s basically my sister--and in starting other RP blogs I met my girlfriend, @bad-jew-jew I got diagnosed. I got medicated. I got over myself. 

Equius got better long before I did. I gave him all that compassion and stability and self-confidence and security that I’m still reaching for, and I’m getting close now. Equius helped me do it. You helped me do it. You and everybody who ever played along with my nonsense or plotted with me or had the decency not to ban me from the Skype chat when I started doing Smash Mouth puns (joke’s on you, can’t ban the admin!)

I was always weird about using the weird ‘roleplay’ to describe this. In my head I called it ‘collaborative storytelling,’ which is technically true but also painfully obnoxious. But it was collaborative; you, me, and that big sweaty troll really made something wonderful together. At least I think so.

I’m done here, but Equius will always stay with me. You will too.

(catch me on my personal at @stronglikeseamus, and don’t forget to drink your milk. I’m told it builds STRONG bones)

[mult1f4nd0mdr4g0n]

Guess what is today

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hey man. its been a while since ive heard from you and i kinda got a bad vibe about some shit going down. you doing okay out there?

D --> UmD --> Yes

D --> Is there something specific that gave you that impression

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carcinogenicgallantry:

DOES WORKING OUT A LOT MAKE YOU MORE OR LESS SUSCEPTIBLE TO DISEASE, OR IS IT A USELESS VARIANT? I’M SICK SEVERAL TIMES A YEAR REGARDLESS, BUT I’M ALSO A TROLL WORKING WITH AN ALIEN PUBLIC ON A DAILY BASIS SO I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THAT FACTORS IN, TOO.

D --> B100dpusher disease can be mitigated or reg001ated through aerobic e%ercise D --> I am told as well that rigorous physical activity can release healing chemicals into the think pan, but I have yet to empirically test this D --> Largely because I have medication that does the same

D --> As a non-professional medical e%pert, it is my opinion that you are e%posed to a nightmarish array of contagions every day

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carcinogenicgallantry:

OH YEAH YOU GET SICK? I JUST ASSUMED YOU BENCH-PRESSED TRACTORS SEASONALLY BUT I GUESS THAT HAPPENS IF YOU HAVE A FUNCTIONING IMMUNE SYSTEM. CONGRATS ON THE MORTALITY. 

D --> I do, but what would that have to do with avoiding bacteria D --> Be serious

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carcinogenicgallantry:

HEY.

SO HOW ARE UH, THINGS IN RELATION TO YOU?

D --> Like many unfortunate enough to step outside during this dreadfoal season D --> I am struck with an illness D --> Things are less than ideal in that respect

[ch3rryb3ary]

Darling Kanaya

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precognitiveignition:

aw man dude thats sad to hear

i mean cold dark winter days are just a total fuckin bummer in general and snow is only fun for like a week tops before it just gets old so i totally agree with you there

plus side is nobody’ll question you if you get a wood fire going and roast some meat or marshmallows

want me to drop by and show you how

D --> Yes D --> Abso100tly

D --> Though unfortunately there is no snow here D --> Only sand D --> Which I hate

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precognitiveignition:

i have had so much more important shit to worry about than ‘hey why isnt my friend checking their blog’ my dude dont even worry about it

but hey i mean aside of crazy involved projects howve you been doing dude

D --> Well D --> Less than ideal, a%ually D --> The winter season does not agree with my moods

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precognitiveignition:

yeah fucking hi equius welcome to the new year i’d ask where you’ve fuckin been but i think you already answered that

in all seriousness though getting the chance to make something that works and works really fucking well is just a great feeling that i feel every sentient individual should get in on more often

you keep that pride on your sleeve man you get full points for that shit

and hey if you get to broadcast the ineptitude of some corporate jerks who got to greedy and that drives their business down then all the better right

D --> My absence is  D --> Noticeabull, I’m sure D --> I understand any frustration you have

D --> I am not actively broadcasting my efforts but that is an idea

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officialterezlpyrope replied to your post: officialterezlpyrope replied to your post: ...

TH3R3 1S F1FT33N G1G H3R3

D --> Earth is of limited resources

[magikarpsofficial]

✍ nepeta

MY FAVOURITE GIRL ALWAYS!!!!!!!

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officialterezlpyrope replied to your post: officialterezlpyrope replied to your post: ...

WOW >:/ WH4TS TH3 F4ST3ST DOWNLO4D SP33D

D --> The service provider’s so-called ‘Gigablast’ plan boasts a download speed of one gigabit per second

D --> My network is closer to ten D --> My goal is to have a network STRONG enough to download and upload a hominid consciousness into a new body before brain death sets in

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carcinogenicgallantry replied to your post: carcinogenicgallantry replied to your post: ...

IS THAT A YES? I VISIT YOU PEOPLE LIKE SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK AND THIS IS A NEED TO KNOW BASIS ON NEED TO KNOW INFORMATION.

D --> Gerald will present you with a card containing the relevant information ne%t time you’re here

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precognitiveignition replied to your post: D –> They raised the prices of our internet...

man when you wanna take action against some corporate bs you absolutely do not settle for half-assed attempts

D --> Hi Jack

D --> Truthfoally I am rather proud of my creation thus far D --> Co% was unhappy when they realized I was not joking

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carcinogenicgallantry replied to your post: D –> They raised the prices of our internet...

DID YOU CHANGE THE WIFI PASSWORD?

D --> I would ask when you have known me to do the bare minimum if I was not reasonabully certain you would reply with something snide