There was once a boy I knew, who chased away all the blue within my heart. To say I once adored him is an understatement. We loved each other but nothing ever came of it. Nothing ever will. He lives far away. Far enough to not make him want to stay. Each day we'd speak. I had never smiled so much. Yet, here I was, smiling over his antics as I felt the warmth of his affection. Even now, I write this with a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. He loved me. I loved him. However, love dies. Old things die and new things bloom. The old died with the change of the season. Like the leaves upon the grass below my feet—it died. It left me standing above those dead leaves, staring in shock. Oh, god, at first I had thought he was depressed. Pulling away because his mind had told him of how worthless it thought him to be. He pulled away to never return. The warmth of his affection couldn't last through the autumn and soon the winter was nipping away at my skin. My cheeks rosy as I waited for him to return. Oh, but, what a silly girl I am. He'll never return. I look at our messages, grinning from ear to ear, what a wonderful love we once shared. I wondered why you pulled away; Was it me? Am I an unlovable creature that devoured what love you could've had for me?
Then I saw, your love and affections were given to someone else. You lied to me. You told me how you'd remain in my life no matter what. How we'd always be friends. That wasn't the only time you had lied. The summer we met, we spoke of people we found attractive and somewhere between our messages you said; I only see you as a friend. You didn't.
Your lies float within the confines of my memories. Some days, I connect the dots. The dots that paint some grand picture I hadn't seen before. You stopped talking to me the moment you found someone new. Someone who filled a void within your heavy heart. A void that I couldn't quite fill. I hate that I once adored you, the same way a kid adores hard candy. How we had jokes that no one else will ever hear. Do you ever wonder what you've done to me? How I showed you my achilles—only for you to strike it. The feeling of abandonment aches my body, you knew that. You. Knew. That. I hardly care. My emotions numbed. I just needed someone, something, an emotion—to write about. I am free. Free from you. Liberation comes with your abandonment. Thank you. With a voice full of sugar (You always said how sweet I was!) I demand of you to never return. I have others to love and to be loved by.
jacobvanloon
tangentwithtanner
vaporwave
gracieabrams
prguitarman
