Ineffable Fan Shit

I am unhealthily obsessed and I love it

[ineffeablefanboi]

My immediate thought after episode two

Very small, very simple head cannon for my first post based upon my own theory about people

but,,,

I’m pretty sure

Aziraphale reads to Crowley

Every.Damn.Night

Without fail.

So hear me out.

I have a theory that if you are a person who doesn’t like reading; then, for one reason or another, you’d like being read to.

In episode two, Crowley ever so casually mentions that he doesn’t read. Which instantly put the wonderful thought in my head of him sleepily curled up on Aziraphale’s lap as he gets lost in the sea of words that are beautifully painted and recited by his husband.

Annnnnd because this doesn’t feel long enough, enjoy a hastily, poorly written bit of when it first happened.

“Just one more chapter.” Aziraphale mindlessly mumbled.

Crowley couldn’t help but groan hearing those words for a fifth time, granted he wasn’t sure if one chapter had even passed. He looked over to his angel, who had been curled up near the opposite side of the cozy chaise lounge they shared for nearly an hour, Crowley couldn’t help but lean forward and catch a peek at the title.

“Are you joking??” He exclaimed just loud enough to break Aziraphale’s eyes from his book for the faintest second. “I’ve seen this one- I’ve seen you read this one at least a hundred times! You’re really holdin up all our plans tonight for a book that you’ve had to have picked up at least a thousand times!” He scoffed in impatient annoyance, his face twisted into a look of disbelief.

His angel chuckled, licking the tip of his finger just before turning the page, of course the sudden outrage didn’t make him miss a beat.

“Maybe if you read it, you’d understand why I’ve picked it up ‘at least a thousand times’“ Aziraphale replied in an almost mocking tone.

Crowley settled back into the lounge, tugging at his coat.

“Oh no, no no no no no, can’t stand reading. Too long, too...wordy.” The demon spoke as if that word alone was far too big for his mouth.

Now that was something that threw off the not easily disturbed angel.

“What do you mean ‘too wordy’???” He gently closed the book and placed it on his lap, though his whiny voice didn’t reflect the calm mannerisms.

“It’s just an endless sea of words, books are! None of it makes sense, so why spend hours commitin to one?” His hands, too, showed his attitude towards this far more than his confused tone ever could imply. 

Aziraphale let out a small sigh in understanding before picking up the book once again.

“Alright then,” the angel pats his right thigh “this simply won’t do, I refuse to believe that anyone can dislike books”

The prideful demon scoffed, looking down at his angel’s (rather tempting) offer.

“Angel, I am a demon, not some uneducated child! I don’t need someone to read for me, it won’t change a thing!”

His angel raised his brows in an almost pleading anticipation, tilting his head ever so slightly in Crowley’s direction in a tantalizing manner.

“Give me one chapter to change your mind..” He pat his thigh again “Come on then”

Crowley pursed his lips in thought, though there was really no choice in the matter.

He let out a frustrated sigh before adjusting himself to rest his head on the angel’s thigh. Aziraphale smiled as he opened the book back to the first page.

“I’m never doin this again,angel, I hope you know that.”