āwhat does it mean to love? i ask over and over, my skin peeling away, the bugs eating their fill. my heart whispers in my prone ear, my brain begging and pleading to stopstopstop. but, the heart has always been stronger though, hasn't it?
inspired by @nosebleedclub's prompt: xv. open up (ik its way too early lmao im sorry)
Romantic cannibalism is to love in a way that is fundamentally messy, raw, sacred, & tenderā¦so intrinsically aligned with the core of human nature, stripped bare and untamed. Itās carnal desire and the likeness between devotion & the urge to devour.
Another OC for the monster-fucker dating sim! He's an ex-friend you made in your childhood that became your bully as you grew. During senior year of HS, you found him in a car crash and saved his life. He hasn't been the same since... (He's a monster I promise! ^^" More info under Read More!)
The situation with this one is... complicated. He's both your childhood ex-friend, Dustin, and... a boogieman/sleep paralyzes demon monster meant to haunt people. Two consciousness in one body, Jekyll and Hyde lol.
His monster side was *your* demon back when you were a young teen and getting sleep paralyzes near daily from yoir horrible sleep schedule. You are a monster-fucker (winkwonk) so you never got scared and insyead developed a sort of amiable relationship with him that left him very endeared to you. He hadn't come across someone as excited to be in his presence before, so he took it all to heart and stuck around in your shadow even as you grew out of your sleep paralyzes. You wrote him off as a figment of your imagination that you miss to this day... while he decided to stalk you, unseen by you... just to see how your life would go.
An opportunity showed itself when you helped your exfriend from his car crash. His mind was fragile and his consciousness fading. The monster leapt in and has been struggling to fully kick him out ever since. He's got a material body now, with emotions he can feel way more intensely. He's like a druggie high on the adrenaline seeing you gives him. He wants to use this to get with you formally, but due to the bully's checkered past with you, he feels ashamed and like he has to make sure nothing goes wrong when he finally confesses. In his mind, that means thay when you volunteer to be his tutor... he will pressure you into inviting him to your dorm... and keep you there until he can explain everything to you. Until you can return his feelings...
He's been able to take control of the body and push Dustin to the back of the mind for months now, but it's still a struggle. On top of that, his form hasnt fully been able to settle into the flesh, so there are times he almost 'slips' out, and his fuzzy, dark form is shown. He's essentially just a shadow with big eyes, not corporeal and static-y. He loses control mostly when he's in the dark, so he tries hard to keep a light on and to stay in lit places.
Bully boy is full of anger, clawing his way to be in control slowly but determinedly. He hates you. He knows you're the reason this happened to him, he's overcome with the sickening infatuated feelings everytime the monster sees you and it feels so... wrong for him. Comforting and amazing but foreign.
He USED to like you... he never would have admitted it and much less NOW but his bullying came from his trying to separate himself from those emotions.... he'd sometimes feel guilty too but now? With this? Maybe you deserved it. He has to keep telling himself. Theres nothing romantic in what he's going through. There's nothing good about you being in his life. He loathes you. He wants control and he wants to be rid of this obsession that certainly... has nothing to do with his own emotions.
should I kill you with my yearning or have my yearning kill me? one of us will die by my hands, but I'll give you the pleasure of choosing. my want will be the death of us, and it won't be clean or pretty. the better parts of us will wither with excruciating tenderness, and we'll lick the blood off our hands. you and I know violence differently, but the blood on our tongues is the same.
I really like the word āsmittenā. because at first glance you just think of sappy lovey-dovey stuff but also you have to remember this is a word thatās born of the word āsmite.ā a devastating word. a word that, summarized, means stricken. smitten means stricken as well ā struck with devastating affection.