Three years. Three f*cking awesome and messed up years.
All these years-- dedicating my heart and soul to you, I can now say
“I finally had the courage to let you go.”
My dear, meeting you was and still the most magical thing that ever happened in my life. We’re 250 miles apart, yet you made me feel like you were always right beside me. We spent days drawing comfort from each other’s voices and our time apart had only made me certain of how much I care for you.
I love how we would rant about our day, and how our nights are so soft and full of wonders. I love how you comfort me and how you knew the right things to say just to make me feel a whole lot better. I love the times we spent sharing music with each other and how you sang “Let your hair down” to me on the phone--It was awful and beautiful, I liked it so much it made me cry and smile for nights on end. I love how we can watch movies together even if we’re miles apart and how you’d remember me whenever you hear a certain song. I love how you supported me in my wildest ideas and liked my crazy hair colours. You were the best “encourager” in my life. You help me become a better person. I love how you slowly opened my eyes to see reality and opened them to witness and understand more the beauty in people . How you taught me the importance of family and forgiveness.. Oh my Dear, I love how I can comfortably talk with you about my life and all its dark secrets. You easily became my human diary.
A best friend that I had always prayed for.
I love how I loved you.. Naively, and pure, without asking for anything in return. But I guess honey, that’s just what love is supposed to be. Always ready to dive in head-first. No safety boundaries and safety gears to protect me from the fall.
But no matter how much you made me happy, no matter how much I poured my heart for you, and was willing to wait for you, it was still not enough. Still not enough to make you stay and not enough to be not the guy you said you wouldn’t be. My dear, You just left me hanging. For a long time I tried to mend all my broken pieces and tried to move on and forget you. I was so hurt but I felt not an ounce of hate for you. I got pushed aside and made me feel that I meant nothing to you, you know I didn’t hate you for it.
I loved every minute of our time-- together or apart from each other, and I don’t want it to be tainted with hate or anger and just let it be a bad memory.
Now that I see that we are already really going on our separate paths, and now that you got your own family, I finally have the reason to not hope that we would be together again. Countless times I’ve told you that I’d set you free, but I always end up coming back for you and our memories. I kept waiting that you’d change your mind but now I know that it is plain impossible. I finally reached the end of our road that we built together. I know I deserve better. Scratch that. I deserve the Best. But I will always, always gonna love you. Maybe now in a different way..
You will always be that one special guy who clicks with my soul and someone whom will always have a special space in my heart. You are my soulmate, but I guess not all soulmates are bound to end up together.
My love, thank you for all the memories. See you around.