Keni
Kiana Khansmith
Sade Olutola
Today's Document
Claire Keane
Monterey Bay Aquarium
@theartofmadeline
One Nice Bug Per Day
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Discoholic 🪩
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
will byers stan first human second
NASA
styofa doing anything
cherry valley forever
titsay
Misplaced Lens Cap
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Cosmic Funnies
almost home
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Poland
seen from Uzbekistan
seen from Australia
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
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seen from Algeria
@infinityplusonelamp
Game where the ancient hero is awakened from the deathless sleep of centuries in the hour of their people's greatest need, only to find that civilisation is thriving and there are no obvious threats on the horizon; the game then becomes a fish-out-of-water detective sim as they try to figure out what woke them up, and also solve other, smaller mysteries along the way.
i put “All I Want for Christmas is You” through a MIDI converter, and then back through an mp3 converter
the result is this garbage
I’m driving myself up the wall because I swear I can hear the vocal line but I don’t know how that could be if it was truly converted to MIDI. Unless you can replicate speech sounds entirely with modulated MIDI notes, in which case I’m actually impressed with this tire fire of an MP3.
the holiday season is almost upon us and I’d like to bring back this absolute fucking monstrosity of an audio file
hi guys
I’M DYING
Your plan of staying with tumblr instead of moving to twitter or other social sites seems to have paid off
Sometimes you come out ahead not because you made good choices, but because everybody else's were even worse.
100% applicable to us.
Go team sinking ship!
On the one hand, Wario's employees account for something like 85% of the female characters with recurring speaking roles across the entire Super Mario franchise, but on the other hand, he's canonically violating multiple child labour laws and once stuffed a preteen girl into a cannon and shot her into the sea, so it's tough to say how much credit he really deserves for his equal opportunity hiring practices.
dc fandom has been redeemed by 99% of the fandom siding with riddler over joker
to be fair its kinda like being asked to choose between a delicious slice of cake and a kick in the crotch with ice skates
I bet even Batman likes Riddler. He gets the call that Riddler’s broken out of Arkham and is terrorizing the city, and he’s like “Oh, good. I get to give my mind a workout and keep Eddie from doing anything too stupid. I’ll bring the kids. They could use some critical thinking training.”
Ahh, the riddler. Just remember, in the Arkham games, he’s just “hey batman, I hid question marks. Can you find them?” And then just wandered off. No murder no mayhem. Just puzzles.
Joker: “hahhahhhehehehhhhhrhrghhghh I’m gonna do murder and make people die I’m a clown and I made Harley Quinn’s life hell hhehhhgheghegghghhhh”
The riddler: “hey Batman they just let me out on good behavior and I’ve been bored as all hell so come solve my riddles I got some spicy new ones I think you’ll like”
Concept: metroidvania-style game where you start out with the abilities of a standard cinematic platformer protagonist, and each upgrade gives you a standard action platformer ability – e.g., the ability to drop through thin platforms, the ability to control your momentum in mid air, a gun with unlimited ammo that doesn't oblige you to do a lengthy and immobilising reload animation every six shots, having an actual health bar rather than just dying to everything in one hit, etc. – such that your fully upgraded endgame toolkit is equivalent that of your average starting metroidvania character.
One of the earliest upgrades you can find is a pair of shoes that let you reverse direction instantly while running. Before collecting this upgrade, you have a long "slowing down and turning around" animation, and if you try to turn around while moving too quickly your character falls over.
(This upgrade will, of course, be at the end of a short side-track, with progress otherwise gated by a specific platforming trick that requires a quick reversal and which appears nowhere else in the game. Speed runners will naturally figure out how to skip it almost immediately, obliging them to determine whether a five-minute time save right at the start of the run is worth being stuck with slow turnarounds for the whole rest of the game.)
A partial upgrade list:
Fire your gun while moving (without it, you can only fire your gun while standing still, and the first shot has a startup animation while you assume a firing stance)
Unlimited ammo (without it, your gun only holds six shots, and pressing the fire button while it's empty triggers a lengthy and immobilising reload animation)
Quickly stop while running (without it, there's a transitional "slowing down" animation every time you stop running, and if you try to reverse directions without slowing down first you fall over)
Pass through thin platforms, both upward and downward (without it they're solid in both directions)
A health bar that measures injury in abstract hit points (without it, any minor harm places you in an "injured" state with reduced mobility, while major harm – or suffering additional minor harm while already injured – just plain kills you)
Mercy invincibility when damaged (this one comes after the health bar upgrade; without it, certain hazards will grab you or knock you down and drain your whole health bar with no chance to react; also enables damage boosting on spikes and such)
Defeated enemies drop health refill pickups (also builds on the health bar upgrade; the enemies are mostly robots, so the implications aren't as troubling as you'd think!)
Instant jumps (without it, you can only do a high jump while standing still and a long jump while running full tilt, and both have long startup animations; this one probably enhances your jump distance to standard video game levels, too, since losing the startup but still only being able to jump a couple of feet would be super awkward)
Wall jumps (comes after instant jumps; self-explanatory)
Unlimited fall distance (without it, falling further than your character's standing height triggers a "hard landing" animation; falling more than twice your character's standing height kills you)
Control your momentum in mid air (without it, your momentum is fixed once your feet leave the ground; this one doesn't require the enhanced jumps or unlimited fall distance upgrades, though its applications may be limited without them)
Perfect self-control (without it, your character freaks out and enters a stunned state when confronted with certain extremely fucked up hazards and environments)
Kill sapient foes without suffering psychological trauma (builds on the preceding upgrade; necessary to reach the final boss)
#if you want to belabour the point you could have several self-control upgrades that each harden you to a different fucked up experience #have them play the same role as the tiered environmental suit upgrades in metroid titles #watch the speedrunners try to hellrun the spider heck zone without the immune-to-spider-related-trauma upgrade
Admittedly asking a bit early, but could I ask for a catalyst for future Fairy Knight Lancelot pulls?
She heard her name and got curious
Souls games experience is where you can somehow solo a boss without taking damage just to immediately walk out and get obliterated by a dog
BAD THINGS BY D&D SPECIES
HUMANS: ONLY BIOLOGICAL LIFEFORM IN THE WORLD THAT ISN'T INNATELY MAGIC AND NGL IT FEELS TARGETED AT THIS POINT
ELVES: THAT ONE SHITTY TREE. SURE THEY LOVE NATURE BUT THAT SURE IS A SHITTY TREE OK. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT?
DWARVES: THERE'S ONE OLD GUY WITH A STAFF YELLING THAT THEY'RE DIGGING TOO DEEP LIKE THAT'S A THING
HALFLINGS: BREXIT
TEIFLINGS: SECRET UNACKNOWLEDGED LONGING FOR PREP FASHION
GNOMES: EXCESS WHIMSY LEAKED IN WATER SUPPLY CAUSING UNSEASONABLE SHENANIGANS IN THE FISH POPULATION
GOBLINS: THE UNSOLVED MYSTERY OF WHY EVERYTHING IS SOMEHOW ON FIRE ALL THE TIME
DROW: YOU'D BE SURPRISED AT HOW LITTLE REPRESENTATION THE COMMON PERSON HAS IN A POLITICAL SYSTEM BASED ENTIRELY AROUND EVIL GIRLBOSSES ATTACKING EACH OTHER WITH SPIDERS
ORCS: THAT ONE HORDE THAT KEEPS RUNNING AROUND RAIDING PEOPLE THAT THE ORCS SEE FROM THEIR UTOPIAN SPACE STATION. WHAT ASSHOLES. THAT'S WHY THEY THREW THEM OFF THE SPACE STATION
DRAGONS: ACTUALLY THE DRAGONS ARE DOING GREAT. THANKS FOR ASKING!
More unconventional world-threatening disasters for your heroes to fight
The halflings have finally fucking snapped
Unfortunate political loophole gives ravenous ghoul total power, everyone upset at being eaten but insisting they need to respect the process.
World's greatest Archmage is drunk off their ass
There's some guy in a cape with glowing red eyes cackling and waving a skull staff around. He's not explicitly done anything wrong but, like, we kind of assume there must be something going on there. Right?
The blessed artifact that will save the world from the demon invasion has a big spider on it and no-one wants to go near it.
Someone gave the Tarrasque a knife
Every time someone casts a spell the moon comes one inch closer to the earth.
Oh shit the Elves just invented capitalism
Cursed item that will destroy the world if anyone says "rhubarb" near it. No-one knows which item it is.
Fire elemental desperately lonely and coming to the material plane for hugs.
There's one warlock who's just eldritch blasting everyone on the planet one by one, like an asshole.
Poorly considered Elder Evil Vacation Day coming up.
The GM is getting bored, and the PCs must entertain them from within the game lest they abandon the game and render their world non-existence.
I’m howling
this is the equivalent of making a movie about a succubus and calling it SUCC
It’s actually slightly worse than that, because “chupa” isn’t just the verb “suck” – that would be “chupar”. “Chupa” is a verb inflection that reads one of two ways: when paired with a subject, it’s indicative (i.e., it describes an action being performed by its subject; hence, “chupacabra” = “goat-sucker”), but without an explicit subject, it becomes imperative. This film’s title is commanding you to suck.
I’m howling
this is the equivalent of making a movie about a succubus and calling it SUCC
It’s actually slightly worse than that, because “chupa” isn’t just the verb “suck” – that would be “chupar”. “Chupa” is a verb inflection that reads one of two ways: when paired with a subject, it’s indicative (i.e., it describes an action being performed by its subject; hence, “chupacabra” = “goat-sucker”), but without an explicit subject, it becomes imperative. This film’s title is commanding you to suck.
Wizard who doesn't practice blood magic on purpose, but they're a bit clumsy, and the edges of those tarot cards are fucking sharp, okay?
The difference between HORUS and SSC is that HORUS starts with cosmic horror and works backwards to construct Dungeons & Dragons, while for SSC the cosmic horror is an emergent property of the fact that SSC frames are Super Fucking Anime. This isn't particularly a secret – it's just that at first you think they're Super Fucking Anime in the sense that if you lose your mech's dorky hand-forged katana, they'll make you write the swordsmith a personalised letter of apology before they'll issue you another one, and it's only once you dig a little under the surface that you realise they're also Super Fucking Anime in the sense that your slick giant robot with the corporate-chic styling and the custom leather gamer chair might possibly be powered by a little piece of a lobotomised alien god.
Smith-Shimano Corpro: So image-conscious that each pilot licensed to operate SSC frames is assigned their own personal brand management concierge.
Also Smith-Shimano Corpro: Maybe if we take the mech upgrades that are made of dead god bits and give them really boring names, nobody will notice?
...I really need to get around to finishing reading the core book for this, don't I?
You may think I am exaggerating.
I am not.
To be fair in this case, the Dusk Wing is very much a HORUS mech that was accidentally leaked to the public instead of being in HORUS' collective fingers
Ok i want to do this poll again
You have to wear a maid outfit, which one do you choose:
Victorian
Miniskirt
French
Classical
Swimsuit
Chinese
Japanese
Horror
Steampunk
Cyber
@infinityplusonelamp
Classical, but Chinese, Japanese, Steampunk and Cyber are all also good
reblog if your name isn't Amanda.
2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!
We’ll find you Amanda.
this has almost 11 million notes what is this
@shittysawtraps
Ah fuck, you got me there .
Well, into the brazen bull you go!
Do you think one could negate the Worf Effect by, instead of rendering the supposedly hypercompetent fighter useless in a fight, constantly contrive situations where they can't actually be present for fights that they would otherwise handily win?
